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Abandonment, Back support, and Adoption

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MMClapp

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Alabama

I have several questions. I think it will be best if I fully explain the situation, then ask the questions. My ex's name was finally put on the birth certificate when we got divorced (the state of AL considered us in a common law marriage), and he was ordered to pay child support. This was almost 2 years ago. He has not seen my daughter since before then (it will be 2 years this March). I have written down my attempts to contact him (and failure thereof) in a notebook, but that's all the proof I have. He has also not ever paid ANY child support since he was ordered to do so. I have not even heard from or much about him even since March of 2005. I have been dating a guy since she was 6 months old, and he wants to adopt her IF we ever get married (hopefully sometime this year). He is the only father she's ever known. He has actually helped me support her somewhat (my parents provide our food and place to live, and he's helped out with diapers, clothes, and, of course, presents). I should also mention that the ex has warrants in 2 counties in AL and probably some in TN. He has already gone through the abandonment of one child (one in TN to which he quit paying child support and the mother had her new hubby adopt the kid). There is a HIGH (absolute) likelihood that he would not show up if summoned to court, as one of his warrants for attempt to manufacture is in this county (I know, I can pick 'em, right?)
I think that covers the background info. Here are my questions.

1) How do I go about getting his rights reliquished, and what are the state laws regarding that?

2) How do I (can I) get back child support (I believe he was supposed to pay about $50 a month (or week, I can't remember) for 2 years, which would be about $1200 (or $21600, I cant' remember...I know that's a big gap))? We don't really NEED it to support her, but it would make a great contribution to her college fund, which won't see too much action until I get out of med school....He may or may not still have the same job, and would probably quit if his wages were garnished, and would probably show up again and cause trouble, which is what I really don't want.

3) How do I go about getting my future husband to adopt her?

3a.) Do we have to be married in order for him to be able to adopt her, and if so, how long must we be married in order for him to be able to do so?

4) Oh, and exactly what process must any documents go through in order for this to occur (ie. signed by a judge, etc.)

5) Which court must this go through (probate, circuit, etc)? I'm an idiot when it comes to the courts, because I've never had any dealings with them.
 


ceara19

Senior Member
3a.) Do we have to be married in order for him to be able to adopt her, and if so, how long must we be married in order for him to be able to do so?
Yes, you need to be married, normally for a year or longer. Explaining the process in detail now is pointless as it will be over a year before you can begin the process. What may be true today, could easily change in a year or 2.
 

MMClapp

Junior Member
New info

Thanks, but I don't think that is the law in the state of AL. I finally had the chance to ask a friend who I knew had gone through the process (couldn't ask in front of her daughter because she still doesn't know yet).

In the state of AL, there is no waiting period for a spouse to adopt a stepchild.

For anyone who might be in AL and in the same predicament, here's a rundown of what she said...

First, you need to send a certified letter to the parent whose rights you want to have relinquished. If they refuse, or don't respond within a reasonable about of time, which I think you can state in the letter, then you have to run an article in the newspaper once a week for some length of time -- I know for a divorce in the same situation it is 2 or 3 months. If the person does not respond by the date listed in the paper (which can be one around your area -- you don't have to do it in the town where the parent is/was residing) then rights are automatically relinquished, it is ruled that the parent abandoned the child. After that date, papers (which can be obtained in your local probate judge's office) can be signed (if the parent never shows), and the adoption is then final.

Most laws on this matter are statewide, but if it IS according to the county, I live in Chilton.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
1) How do I go about getting his rights reliquished, and what are the state laws regarding that?
you don't. Either the department of Human Services or the court can however.
2) How do I (can I) get back child support
The same way you do now. Or should have been doing for the last 2 years. By filing a motion for contempt. Of course, the moment you do his attorney will offer an agreement in compromise whereby you will owe him the same amount in costs that he owes in back support and he will agree to the adoption.
3) How do I go about getting my future husband to adopt her?
by making him your PRESENT husband, filing for the adoption, going through the REQUIRED home study by Human Services and spending about $10,000 in legal fees and court costs.
3a.) Do we have to be married in order for him to be able to adopt her, and if so, how long must we be married in order for him to be able to do so?
Of course not. You would just have to have YOUR rights also terminated.
4) Oh, and exactly what process must any documents go through in order for this to occur (ie. signed by a judge, etc.)
ask your own attorney.
5) Which court must this go through (probate, circuit, etc)? I'm an idiot when it comes to the courts, because I've never had any dealings with them.
The Probate court has original jurisdiction. If, however, the ex does not consent then the matter will be moved to the district court having jurisdiction.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
Thanks, but I don't think that is the law in the state of AL. I finally had the chance to ask a friend who I knew had gone through the process (couldn't ask in front of her daughter because she still doesn't know yet).

In the state of AL, there is no waiting period for a spouse to adopt a stepchild.

For anyone who might be in AL and in the same predicament, here's a rundown of what she said...

First, you need to send a certified letter to the parent whose rights you want to have relinquished. If they refuse, or don't respond within a reasonable about of time, which I think you can state in the letter, then you have to run an article in the newspaper once a week for some length of time -- I know for a divorce in the same situation it is 2 or 3 months. If the person does not respond by the date listed in the paper (which can be one around your area -- you don't have to do it in the town where the parent is/was residing) then rights are automatically relinquished, it is ruled that the parent abandoned the child. After that date, papers (which can be obtained in your local probate judge's office) can be signed (if the parent never shows), and the adoption is then final.

Most laws on this matter are statewide, but if it IS according to the county, I live in Chilton.
That's NOT the way it works. Read up on proper legal notification in a suit affecting the parent child relationship.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Thanks, but I don't think that is the law in the state of AL. I finally had the chance to ask a friend who I knew had gone through the process (couldn't ask in front of her daughter because she still doesn't know yet).

In the state of AL, there is no waiting period for a spouse to adopt a stepchild.

For anyone who might be in AL and in the same predicament, here's a rundown of what she said...

First, you need to send a certified letter to the parent whose rights you want to have relinquished. If they refuse, or don't respond within a reasonable about of time, which I think you can state in the letter, then you have to run an article in the newspaper once a week for some length of time -- I know for a divorce in the same situation it is 2 or 3 months. If the person does not respond by the date listed in the paper (which can be one around your area -- you don't have to do it in the town where the parent is/was residing) then rights are automatically relinquished, it is ruled that the parent abandoned the child. After that date, papers (which can be obtained in your local probate judge's office) can be signed (if the parent never shows), and the adoption is then final.

Most laws on this matter are statewide, but if it IS according to the county, I live in Chilton.
And by the way, tell your friend to stop giving legal advice....especially when it's wrong.
 

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