adopting my 16 yr. old son

[hotdurangochic]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Ok here goes. my son is 16 years old now and I was young dumb and permiscuios. I have tested my son with 3 men now and none are the father( I was 17 when I got pregnant with him). My boyfried and i have been together for going on 4 years now and he wants to adopt him. Where should I begin. I truly don't know who his father is. any suggestions on where to begin?

 

[CourtClerk]

A good place to start is at a wedding hall.

No one is going to allow someone to commit themselves to a child that won't commit to the mother. In other words... boyfriends don't adopt. Step-parents adopt.

 

[hotdurangochic]

I understand that. However, I can not get married at this time. I am currently married to a military man whom I have been seperated from for almost 5 years. He has been overseas. Until he is back state side, we can't get divorced. He is protected my the soldier and sailors act.
and just for the record, my husband/ex wouldn't consider adoption. He didnt want to adopt my son.

 

[Zigner]

I understand that. However, I can not get married at this time. I am currently married to a military man whom I have been seperated from for almost 5 years. He has been overseas. Until he is back state side, we can't get divorced. He is protected my the soldier and sailors act.
and just for the record, my husband/ex wouldn't consider adoption. He didnt want to adopt my son.

Wonderful...

Your b/f won't be able to adopt your son before he's 18.

 

[CourtClerk]

and just for the record, my husband/ex wouldn't consider adoption. He didnt want to adopt my son.

You say that as if it's a bad thing.... he has no obligation to adopt your child. And if it was that big of an issue, why did you marry him???

Guess it really didn't matter, now did it?

 

[nextwife]

Wait until he's 18- then son can consent to the adoption and at won't matter who biodad may be.

 

[stealth2]

I swear - these boards are better than the soaps!

 

[majomom1]

I swear - these boards are better than the soaps!

Yep... and this one qualifies as one of the best! Geez...

 

[hotdurangochic]

to: court clerk

this is true, he is not obligted to adobt him, however I think it is pretty *hitty* looking back in retro that he would adopt my two younger girls but not the oldest. They know their father and he wouldn't allow it anyway.

But true...not that it matters now.

 

[nextwife]

this is true, he is not obligted to adobt him, however I think it is pretty *hitty* looking back in retro that he would adopt my two younger girls but not the oldest. They know their father and he wouldn't allow it anyway.

But true...not that it matters now.

Huh?

Your question was about the legal issue of adoption with no biofather known. BF doesn't have to adopt ANY of them!

If you are so gung-ho about adoption and adamant about how great it is to be taking on the responsibilty for a child that is not biologically yours, why don't YOU adopt? From an orphanage? From foster care? Singles adopt every day. Or don't YOU want to be financially responsible for a child that isn't biologically yours?

 

[hotdurangochic]

DNA is nothing more than that, letters. I was raised by my step father who never adopted me nor asked either. But he is still my dad after 33 years of hime being in my life. He and mom have been divorced for almost 6 years now and nothign has changed.

Now back to the issue at hand.... I was just wondering if there was a way to allow him to adopt him or if I should just let it go till he is 18. Guess I got my answer.

 

[nextwife]

With publication periods, it makes no sense to attempt this now, when son is almost old enough to simply consent as an adult.

 

[Zigner]

DNA is nothing more than that, letters. I was raised by my step father who never adopted me nor asked either. But he is still my dad after 33 years of hime being in my life. He and mom have been divorced for almost 6 years now and nothign has changed.

Now back to the issue at hand.... I was just wondering if there was a way to allow him to adopt him or if I should just let it go till he is 18. Guess I got my answer.

Except for that pesky little "inheritance rights" situation...

Things DO change. Not on an emotional level, but certainly on a LEGAL level. "Step-parent" is absolutely not the same as "parent" (from a legal point of view)

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Actually, what she probably should do is complete her divorce.

 

[CourtClerk]

this is true, he is not obligted to adobt him, however I think it is pretty *hitty* looking back in retro that he would adopt my two younger girls but not the oldest. They know their father and he wouldn't allow it anyway.

But true...not that it matters now.

Yet you allowed that to happen and let your son feel alienated???

Do me a favor, stop typing. The more you type, the more of an irresponsible nutcase you appear to me as being. You brought all this confusion on yourself and the best thing you can do is apologize to your son for making him live through all of it.