Adoption Assistance

[angelsweetea]

I live in Ohio and I recently turned 18 and am trying to find out about my adoption. I recently snooped in my parents papers and found that there was a state hearing about me that went on when I was 12. It talks about me being elidigble for Adoption Assistance because I am a "special needs child". What does that mean? I am not retarded or anything... I have almost made it through High School and I am considered a smart kid. So what could this mean? I do not understand why my parents would hide this from me if I really was a special needs child. Please help me...I am very confused.

 

[Seanscott]

The term "special needs" does not refer only to mental handicaps. A baby who has had a long hospital stay, for example, may qualify for special needs assistance if he has to have some physical therapy later in life.

Any child whose progress is delayed, whether mental, physical, emotional, etc., may qualify.

 

[nextwife]

My daughter IS a SNs child and is as smart as could be! In her case, she takes meds for ADD (attention deficit disorder). Additionally, she was an orphanage adoption, but the following holds true for many foster care adoptions: she had severe language delays, now caught up because of Early Interventions and therapies, fine motor skill delays, social skill delays, minor SI (sensory Integration Disorder)and some PTSD because of some orphanage fears.

I do not know why your parents never informed you, but they may have considered the seeking of this assistance to be a financial matter, and as such, not something to be discussed with the kids.

SNs has no bearing on intelligence.

Best wishes to you.

 

[angelsweetea]

Thanks for replying...but I don't think you understand. I have no problems at all. I am on no medications and never have been. I never was in the hospital for a long time. I was adopted because my real parents gave me up do to the fact they could no longer support me when I was 2. I have no emotional problems. I have been a normal developing child. I am mentally more mature than most people my age but physically I am the same as most people my age. My adoptive parents, to put it frankly, are rich. Why would they need money and for what? I keep in touch with my real parents and they say that I was a perfectly normal healthy child when I was given up for adoption.

I'm sorry to nextwife....your girl seems to have many problems. What is PSTD?

 

[nextwife]

Well, angelsweetea, I know that my daughter is only 5 1/2, and she, too, came into our lives at age 2. Just like you. She has made stunning progress and we are so proud of how hard she has worked. A few years from now, she will likely NOT remember that she had these special therapies and classes, as she is outgrowing the need for most, although the ADD will remain. By her teens, I doubt she will remember any of this time.

PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some kids who experience a dramatic change in their life, such as the loss of a beloved caregiver, or a dramatic environmental change can exhibit symtoms of PTS. Loss issues that she doesn't have a way to verbalize. She was a non-verbal toddler in a place she knew one day, and all of a sudden she was someplace totally different from all that was familiar.

You sound like you are doing fine. so I have no further insight to offer.

Obviously, we outside your family circle cannot know what the hearing you found notice of was really about. I hope you have a good enough relationship with your folks and can ask them to help you understand?

All the best, from a mom to an amazing girl

 

[drell]

Here's a little info..

HI there, my soon to be daughter is also considered a SN child. Why.. I asked the social workers this. It is because the bio parents and some of the extended family had problems with drugs and drinking.Not all of them, but because it seems to run in the family there is a chance that she is at a greater risk of problems later on. Not saying she will have any, but they just want the in case. Don't let this eat you up.
I don't know how well you knew your bio-family but these things have a way of being hidden from most people. Have you ever thought about just asking your mom why they have you classified as SN? It might clear up a lot of confusion.
I almost forgot... the social worker also told me that she also was over a year old before she will be adopted. You know they (the State) all have thier strange and wacky laws and rules. So you just never know. The only problem my daughter has is she is like me! LOL
Hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Drell

 

[angelsweetea]

Drell and nextwife, Thanks for the post! I appreciate your comments.

I have asked my parents (adoptive) if they remember the court papers I told them about...and they denied knowing aything ever happened. In thier minds I am thier flesh and blood and they are the only family I will ever need to know. My parents (adoptive) have lied too many times to me that I don't even consider them family and more. (please never let something this minor come between you and your children) I wanted so bad for my real parents to meet my adoptive parents....But I know that they would never want to. I tried to get my mom to go with me the day after I turned 18 to meet my real mother and she said she would never again speak to me if I went to meet her. So, I did what I felt I had to do and I went to meet my real mother. She right now is more a mother than my adoptive mother ever was. She supports me, comforts me when I am down, and loves me no matter what. (as a side bar- if you have adopted children let them know that you are there for them, that you love them, let them know it is allright to wonder about the past....imagen if you didn't have a past.....knowing your past often helps you to be prepared for a future of sucess)

Thanks Drell for bringing up the thought about drugs. My real parents where not druggies but my mother has bipolar disorder and maybe they thought I would have problems too...since it is a genetic thing.

Enough writting for now!

Thanks everyone for caring enough to write!