adoption attorney necessary ?

[VBCoach]

What is the name of your state? KY

are adoption attorney's necessary ?? who gets one ? adoptive parents or bio parents ? or both ?

thanks

[momofrose]

Attorney's are definitely needed for adoption. It is a process that you do not want to "do yourself". As far as attorney's..we had one, our son's birthmom also had one and she had a birth-parent advocate. We paid for all.

Good luck
D

[VBCoach]

thanks for the reply. We're going to visit an adoption agency. We'll ask them to refer us to one.

[nextwife]

Use YOUR own attorney.

What type of adoption are you planning? Have you been reading about adoption so you understand issues of adopted kids, accepted adoption language, the reputations of the adoption agencies, etc?

[VBCoach]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Use YOUR own attorney.

What type of adoption are you planning? Have you been reading about adoption so you understand issues of adopted kids, accepted adoption language, the reputations of the adoption agencies, etc?

I want a closed adoption. She (birth mother) is unsure still.

I've read about a lot of the issues except for the actual best process. Birth mother has scheduled a meeting with an agency just to see how things are porocessed. Nothing is set in stone yet.

[nextwife]

Ok. So you are doing a domestic, newborn private adoption.

Do be prepared for a possible change of mind. The majority of those who have done newborn domestic adoptions have experienced at least one failed attempt.

Do you know if she is a drug or alchohol consumer?

Is the mother a minor and also in your state?

What has your contact with dad lead you to believe about his proceeding with the adoption?

[VBCoach]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Ok. So you are doing a domestic, newborn private adoption.

Do be prepared for a possible change of mind. The majority of those who have done newborn domestic adoptions have experienced at least one failed attempt.

what do you mean ? who is the majority ?

Do you know if she is a drug or alchohol consumer?

the mother ? no

Is the mother a minor and also in your state?

no, she resides in KY.

What has your contact with dad lead you to believe about his proceeding with the adoption?

i am dad ?

we met with an agency today. i liked what they had to say.

[momofrose]

If I may interject, some of what nextwife is asking may seem a but strange to you, but these are all things that need to be thought about prior to going into an adoption plan.

a) May I ask why you are leaning towards "closed" adoption?
b) Nextwife asks about the "dad" because "dad" (if known) must agree to the adoption. If "dad" is not known then the agency must proceed wtih due process to try and find him. After 30 days (in fla anyway) if birth father can not be located it is assumed he agrees with the plan.
c) Please get a full medical report on the possible birthmom.

As faar as the "change of mind" statement - I am not sure it is the majority - but certianly many have had this happen. It did for us, but on the heels of that scenerio, our birthmom found us and we have been blessed with our 2 year old terror since day 2 of his life.

D

[VBCoach]

Originally Posted by momofrose

If I may interject, some of what nextwife is asking may seem a but strange to you, but these are all things that need to be thought about prior to going into an adoption plan.

a) May I ask why you are leaning towards "closed" adoption?

open or closed, doesn't really matter. we want to provide the best for the child, and know that we cannot give it.

b) Nextwife asks about the "dad" because "dad" (if known) must agree to the adoption. If "dad" is not known then the agency must proceed wtih due process to try and find him. After 30 days (in fla anyway) if birth father can not be located it is assumed he agrees with the plan.

dad does agree to adoption.

c) Please get a full medical report on the possible birthmom.

already have it.

As faar as the "change of mind" statement - I am not sure it is the majority - but certianly many have had this happen. It did for us, but on the heels of that scenerio, our birthmom found us and we have been blessed with our 2 year old terror since day 2 of his life.

who is the one having the change of mind ? birthmom or adoptive parents ?

[Ohiogal]

Are you the putative father of the child? Meaning you are not married to the birth mother but you are the one who allegedly impregnated her and you and the birth mother are looking at placing the baby for adoption?

[momofrose]

I am sorry - I misunderstood - you are the birthdad - not the adoptive parents. I apologize for that mistake.
The adoptive parents would pay your attorney fees. You and the birthmom would not incur any legal or medical fees.

Good luck to you both - being mature enough to know you can not provide your child with everything they need and allowing
a couple (or family) to do just that for the baby, is an amazing thing.

D

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by momofrose

I am sorry - I misunderstood - you are the birthdad - not the adoptive parents. I apologize for that mistake.
The adoptive parents would pay your attorney fees. You and the birthmom would not incur any legal or medical fees.

Good luck to you both - being mature enough to know you can not provide your child with everything they need and allowing
a couple (or family) to do just that for the baby, is an amazing thing.

D

Until he establishes paternity he is NOT the father legally and that is something he needs to know.

[VBCoach]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Until he establishes paternity he is NOT the father legally and that is something he needs to know.

that i know. once the baby is born i will request a DNA test to establish paternity.