Adoption conceivable?

[villegac]

What is the name of your state? California
My daughter is a mature 12 years old. She has lived with me since birth. I have never established any legal custody situation. When I found out I was pregnant with her at age twenty, I contacted the father and he refused to have any involvement unless the baby was a boy. By this time he had moved back to the east coast. The last time I heard from him was when she was a few days old. He found out the baby wasn't a boy, and that was that. Needless to say, I didn't put him on the birth certificate.
He called several years later when he was in prison (collect no less). He had gotten addicted to Heroin and committed many crimes, most notably armed robbery of a bank. She has seen her father four times, three times in prison at his request.
The last time we went to his house in New Jersey. It was clear he switched drugs of choice from illegal Heroin to legal alcohol. He was drunk every night we were there. One night he even threatened to kidnap her, because I asked him to bring her home before they went to dinner to give her antibiotics. He lost control and began threatening and calling her and I names. I had to call the cops, and the cops intervened allowing us to leave immediately back to Ca. It was a very traumatic experience for the both of us.
We had an amiable relationship up to this point, and I felt it important that he be part of her life. Now I believe he is too toxic for a healthy relationship with her. I do not want to support or encourage it, and I try not to defecate all over him in her presence. She refuses to see him because of the chaotic manner in which he acted, and he scares her. He had no regard for her feelings, and was just plain mean to her.
I've been involved with the same man since my daughter's father moved (11 years). We're now married, and he wants to adopt her. We have a son together also. He has been my daughter's father, and she wants it that way. She wants nothing to do with her bio-father. My husband wants to adopt her, and she wants him to adopt her. She has asked to change her name at school, and keeps pressing for when he will adopt her for good. We have even asked her father to give up his rights. He refuses because he says he "will never give up rights to that a**hole" (aka my husband). He pays child support but refuses to pay court ordered medical coverage.
I know we have to contact an attorney. How strong of a case do we have, and will the courts take into consideration what my daughter wants?