Adoption of a foster child

I have 2 foster children in my home that I have had for 19 months. I have a 5 year old girl with severe behavior issues and a 2 year old boy. We want to adopt the 2 year old and not the 5 year old. The state will not let us adopt them unless we agree to adopt both children. I think that putting these children together will cause harm for the 2 year old. The 5 year old is very aggressive to others including adults, she is also very destructive and the two children do not have a possitive bond with each other even though they are siblings. I don't want the 2 year old to have to be uprooted from the only family he has known and placed with the 5 year old that may not be very safe for him. Please help us to find out how we can get the state of Kansas to listen to us on what is best for these children. The 5 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, RAD, Bipoler and Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

Thank you
Marita

If you look up your states Statutes for CHildren and Service For Children website this will direct you with the kknowledge of how to turn and what attorney to look for. Family law website will aslo help you to get the right information.
In my opinion and from what I have learned, the safety of the little boy is at risk with the girl. The state will wait until something happens to the boy and unfortunately you will be blamed for not protecting the child. They will both be taken. TO prevent that from happening get a retainer on a attorney that deals with high risk children placement. You may have to get the girl committed and make sure that all involved are recongnizing the "threat of harm" to the boy.
The state will contend "behind closed doors" that it will be too much paperwork and if you adopt them both then she is your responsibility and they consider "out of sight out of mind" to be their mission statement. Acutally they aren't that bad. I haven't run across a case that was not either for the parent or the state. The children are like the last to benefit from these situations.
But I can not tell everyone enough to feed your brain with all the laws of your state that you can, research and more research. Not only will you know what the attorneys and the judges and caseworkers are talling about but you can also hold them to thier jobs and comminttments!!