Adoption and rights

[skyhawk26]

What is the name of your state? TEXAS

I am looking for some advice on the following issue.
I am married to a man I so want to
divorce. We have separated a few times and during one
of those separations , I met a wonderful man that was
a friend to me. Since then, we have never met but he
has become more then a friend to me. going back to my
marriage...i am caring for two wonderful boys I want
to adopt. They are brothers but because of there mother, one will be a private adoption and the other one is a state adoption. My problem is that the boys are related to my husbands side of the family. well ..when i tell
hubby about divorce, he threatens to take the boys
away and will nullify the adoption which is in process
right now. if i wait to sign the adoption papers and
then get a divorce... my husband won't let me leave
the state and my friend from above is one state away

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And where in this soap opera did you ask a question?

 

[nextwife]

So you want to adopt and then dump the newly created legal father so you can keep custody and he can get stuck paying CS for another man's child, but not even get to have the child he just adopted live with him?

Divorce, and then see if you can complete the adoption as a single mom (I know LOTS of single adoptive parents). You would be committing fraud to adopt WITH your husband if you intend to divorce! These kids do NOT need further discruption.

I think it stinks that you are trying to adopt with a man while you have plans to leave him for someone else.

 

[skyhawk26]

Thats why I am looking for a lawyer with free advice. I would rather be unhappy in a marriage then lose these boys. so i can't take the chance of being single and trying to go thru with a state adoption.

to comment about one of your comments. I would not want child support from him at all. And since the boys do have a sense he is around, we could draw up papers where he can see them

 

[nextwife]

The problem is that LEGALLY he would be responsible for CS. If you ever went on assistance, for example, he would be made responsible to pay the state back, regardless of what you want him to be responsible for. And while you now say you would not want CS, you can change your mind a year from now and force him to pay.

Single women adopt all the time. Have you spoken anonymously with the state agency to see what qualifications they would require. I have many contacts in the adoption community who adopted as singles. If you have no intention of staying with your husband, you should NOT be attempting to become a co-parent with him. Nor is it fair to adopt children into an unhappy marriage, especially children who are already being disrupted from a bad situation!

 

[sbrewski]

not fair to children

My friend adopted 2 children with his wife and she knew the marriage wasn't going to last. She needed him to adopt the children so she could have an income with the adoption assistance and now that she has dumped him and wants him to pay child support but doesn't want him to visit or have a relationship with them. It is bad enough they got adopted by someone like her but now they are in the middle of a divorce.
First they loose their natural mom and dad and then they loose their adopted dad. It is not fair to the children. You should try to adopt them as a single parent.

 

[nextwife]

She needed him to adopt the children so she could have an income with the adoption assistance and now that she has dumped him and wants him to pay child support but doesn't want him to visit or have a relationship with them.

Tell your friend to enforce his rights to be with his kids on his time, and to file contempt every time she denies visitation.