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08-05-2009, 06:54 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6
| | | adoption w/out knowing
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Florida
I am still legally married, not filed papers yet, but have been seperated for 2 1/2 years, still seeing on occasion. Wife is pregnant, but I don't believe it is mine. She wants to put baby up for adoption but is claiming, by law, that if she is still legally married, that in order for her to put baby up, I have to sign a release for her to do that even if the child is not mine. Without knowing the baby is mine, is that true that I have to sign a release in the state of Florida and what complications can it present? She is wanting to have someone out of state adopt the baby. |
08-05-2009, 06:57 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,542
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by jjjjd1967  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Florida
I am still legally married, not filed papers yet, but have been seperated for 2 1/2 years, still seeing on occasion. Wife is pregnant, but I don't believe it is mine. She wants to put baby up for adoption but is claiming, by law, that if she is still legally married, that in order for her to put baby up, I have to sign a release for her to do that even if the child is not mine. Without knowing the baby is mine, is that true that I have to sign a release in the state of Florida and what complications can it present? She is wanting to have someone out of state adopt the baby. | as the legal husband to wife, you are the legal father to the child not born yet.
are you planning on filing for divorce? |
08-05-2009, 06:58 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,683
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by jjjjd1967 What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Florida
I am still legally married, not filed papers yet, but have been seperated for 2 1/2 years, still seeing on occasion. Wife is pregnant, but I don't believe it is mine. She wants to put baby up for adoption but is claiming, by law, that if she is still legally married, that in order for her to put baby up, I have to sign a release for her to do that even if the child is not mine. Without knowing the baby is mine, is that true that I have to sign a release in the state of Florida and what complications can it present? She is wanting to have someone out of state adopt the baby. | At the moment you're the child's legal father.
Wait until the child is born, and then have a DNA test to either prove or disprove your paternity.
Out of interest, would you still agree to the adoption if you're actually biologically Dad?
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When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
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08-05-2009, 07:00 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6
| | | yes. I have all the paperwork but have to do it on my own and filing for indigency at the same time. |
08-05-2009, 07:06 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6
| | | She has been doing drugs for the past 2 1/2 years and has been recently arrested for it and I am very concerned for the health of the child but we already have 1 child that she does not support and will be addressed w/in the divorce. I cannot support or raise another child on my own w/out support and help which she is not capable of providing. |
08-05-2009, 07:08 PM
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique At the moment you're the child's legal father.
Wait until the child is born, and then have a DNA test to either prove or disprove your paternity.
Out of interest, would you still agree to the adoption if you're actually biologically Dad? | OP, make sure you do this the split second you find out the child is born. DO NOT let weeks or months go by. |
08-05-2009, 07:12 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6
| | | She is asking me to sign the papers prior to the birth of the child. Can I demand a DNA test prior to the birth and signing papers or release. |
08-05-2009, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by jjjjd1967 She is asking me to sign the papers prior to the birth of the child. Can I demand a DNA test prior to the birth and signing papers or release. | She wants you to sign over rights before the child is born?! Not likely.
(It's also highly unlikely a judge will order a DNA test prior to birth btw - it's invasive and quite risky)
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
08-05-2009, 10:42 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
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Originally Posted by jjjjd1967 I cannot support or raise another child on my own w/out support and help which she is not capable of providing. | When whether or not this is genetically your child, why not sign the papers ANYWAY? I don't see the point in not. You're incapable of supporting another child by yourself. She's incapable of supporting a child and actually wants to do the RESPONSIBLE thing by putting the child up for adoption. Why hinder that?
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Originally Posted by sandyclaus CourtClerk is right. | |
08-06-2009, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by CourtClerk When whether or not this is genetically your child, why not sign the papers ANYWAY? I don't see the point in not. You're incapable of supporting another child by yourself. She's incapable of supporting a child and actually wants to do the RESPONSIBLE thing by putting the child up for adoption. Why hinder that? | One reason I can see for not doing that would be the chance that he is not the biological father. If he isn't, the actual biological father should be identified and would have a right to have a say about the adoption.
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08-06-2009, 09:21 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
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Originally Posted by LdiJ One reason I can see for not doing that would be the chance that he is not the biological father. If he isn't, the actual biological father should be identified and would have a right to have a say about the adoption. | At which point, the legal father then agrees to the adoption or raises the child. I still don't see the problem.
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Originally Posted by sandyclaus CourtClerk is right. | |
08-06-2009, 11:14 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2003
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Originally Posted by CourtClerk When whether or not this is genetically your child, why not sign the papers ANYWAY? I don't see the point in not. You're incapable of supporting another child by yourself. She's incapable of supporting a child and actually wants to do the RESPONSIBLE thing by putting the child up for adoption. Why hinder that? | Sorry, as an adoptive parent, I would not wish to encourage anyone to potentially set up an adoption that could be overturned or considered fraudulant latter. Get it RIGHT the first time and that ensures the adoption is ironclad.
I take issue with encouraging him to "just sign it anyway". Paternity should be properly established and all rights of the biofather should be fully and legally relinguished at the get go.
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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08-06-2009, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by nextwife Sorry, as an adoptive parent, I would not wish to encourage anyone to potentially set up an adoption that could be overturned or considered fraudulant latter. Get it RIGHT the first time and that ensures the adoption is ironclad.
I take issue with encouraging him to "just sign it anyway". Paternity should be properly established and all rights of the biofather should be fully and legally relinguished at the get go. | Your feelings are noted, but per FL statute 63.062, only the legal father of the child needs give consent to adoption. The OP is the LEGAL father of the child... Quote:
63.062 Persons required to consent to adoption; affidavit of nonpaternity; waiver of venue.--
(1) Unless supported by one or more of the grounds enumerated under s. 63.089(3), a petition to terminate parental rights pending adoption may be granted only if written consent has been executed as provided in s. 63.082 after the birth of the minor or notice has been served under s. 63.088 to:
(a) The mother of the minor.
(b) The father of the minor, if:
1. The minor was conceived or born while the father was married to the mother;
2. The minor is his child by adoption;
3. The minor has been adjudicated by the court to be his child by the date a petition is filed for termination of parental rights;
4. He has filed an affidavit of paternity pursuant to s. 382.013(2)(c) by the date a petition is filed for termination of parental rights; or
5. In the case of an unmarried biological father, he has acknowledged in writing, signed in the presence of a competent witness, that he is the father of the minor, has filed such acknowledgment with the Office of Vital Statistics of the Department of Health within the required timeframes, and has complied with the requirements of subsection (2).
(c) The minor, if 12 years of age or older, unless the court in the best interest of the minor dispenses with the minor's consent.
(d) Any person lawfully entitled to custody of the minor if required by the court.
(e) The court having jurisdiction to determine custody of the minor, if the person having physical custody of the minor does not have authority to consent to the adoption.
(2) In accordance with subsection (1), the consent of an unmarried biological father shall be necessary only if the unmarried biological father has complied with the requirements of this subsection.
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Originally Posted by sandyclaus CourtClerk is right. | |
08-06-2009, 12:23 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: With Capt'n Hook
Posts: 6,817
| | | MORALLY, the RIGHT thing to do is get a DNA test at birth to make an informed decision.
Yes, the law says that the OP is the LEGAL father, but it sounds like he also wants to do the right thing.
If it were me, I might agree to signing the paperwork contingent on the DNA test at birth.
__________________ If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. Maya Angelou |
08-06-2009, 06:05 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6
| | | OK. I do not disagree with not being able to support or care for the child- therefore, I am not against the adoption. The 2 problems that I foresee are:
1. If the child is not mine, then the legal father has the right to say whether or not he agrees to the adoption and for the peace of mind to know that I am making a decision with knowing that it is my child. But she may never disclose who the real father might be, if not me.
2. We already have 1 child that she does not help in any fashion to support for the past 2 years, and if she is being compensated for the adoption, then "our" child has the right to be compensated for what I have not been able to provide being a single parent and the debt that has accrued. The decision, I feel, should be made by both legal and biological parents.
Therefore after thinking hard about this-- I have decided to NOT sign the papers until I know if I am the biological father and if thru an agency or privately and at what financial aspect in writing to be included within the divorce paperwork that I will be submitting. Signed and dated by other parents and a lawyer or notary.
Right or wrong?? | |
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