Adoptive Fathers Rights

[Harvest63]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

9 years ago my wife got pregnant by another man. She then divorced me, married him, divorced him, and re-married me. He had nothing to do with the child, waived his parental rights and I adopted her at age 4. He had nothing to do with her or paid any child support through this age. When she was 7 my wife convinced me we should tell her and introduce her to her biological father and half siblings. Three months later she asked for a divorce for the second time. We had a tentative settlement in place but not signed, she agreed that she is not able to be the residential parent and currently I am and will continue to be

She has since reunited with the bilogical father, explained in detail to the child their previous marriage, and intent on getting married again. What are my rights to restrict the birth father from seeing the child, before and after he remarrys my wife? What, if any chances do I have of suing for back child support. It all appears as a long term con.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by Harvest63

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

9 years ago my wife got pregnant by another man. She then divorced me, married him, divorced him, and re-married me. He had nothing to do with the child, waived his parental rights and I adopted her at age 4. He had nothing to do with her or paid any child support through this age. When she was 7 my wife convinced me we should tell her and introduce her to her biological father and half siblings. Three months later she asked for a divorce for the second time. We had a tentative settlement in place but not signed, she agreed that she is not able to be the residential parent and currently I am and will continue to be

She has since reunited with the bilogical father, explained in detail to the child their previous marriage, and intent on getting married again. What are my rights to restrict the birth father from seeing the child, before and after he remarrys my wife? What, if any chances do I have of suing for back child support. It all appears as a long term con.

Wow. Unbelievable situation.

There is nothing in your post to indicate that your STBX's fiancé is a danger to the child, therefor you would have no grounds to request a RO. Who is it you want CS from? The mother? The birth father?? Request CS in court from the mother...But if you think that the BF is responsible for support...think again. He has no legal rights or responsibly toward YOUR child.

This child should be placed in counseling to help her/him deal with this rather convoluted situation.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Harvest63

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

9 years ago my wife got pregnant by another man. She then divorced me, married him, divorced him, and re-married me. He had nothing to do with the child, waived his parental rights and I adopted her at age 4. He had nothing to do with her or paid any child support through this age. When she was 7 my wife convinced me we should tell her and introduce her to her biological father and half siblings. Three months later she asked for a divorce for the second time. We had a tentative settlement in place but not signed, she agreed that she is not able to be the residential parent and currently I am and will continue to be

She has since reunited with the bilogical father, explained in detail to the child their previous marriage, and intent on getting married again. What are my rights to restrict the birth father from seeing the child, before and after he remarrys my wife? What, if any chances do I have of suing for back child support. It all appears as a long term con.

(What Blue said, ditto)

File for custody and CS. You're not entitled to back CS from anyone (at least before your most recent separation).

Doesn't matter how it appears to you, the child is yours. Her biological father has no right or obligations to the child (including back child support), but your wife has the right to involve anyone she likes (obviously unless said person is a danger, and nothing you've said indicates that) in her child's life.

Just as you do, should you remarry.

To clarify though...your wife was pregnant with his child and you got divorced DURING her pregnancy?

When was the child actually born? (between marriages? During yours?)

[nextwife]

Don't ALLOW yourself to be "defined" by mom as anything other than your child's FATHER. You are not her "adoptive" father - you ARE her father. Explain to your daughter that sometimes adopted children do have contact with their bio family, but that you ARE and will always be her father, the man who was always there for her, who changed her diapers, who is REALLY her dad, biology or not. This other man is defined as a legal stranger who has no legal role/responsibility in her life. That Mom can choose who ever she wants to live with, but mommy's choice of a boyfriend or spouse doesn't change who you are to her. YOU, and you alone are her Daddy..

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Harvest63

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

9 years ago my wife got pregnant by another man. She then divorced me, married him, divorced him, and re-married me. He had nothing to do with the child, waived his parental rights and I adopted her at age 4. He had nothing to do with her or paid any child support through this age. When she was 7 my wife convinced me we should tell her and introduce her to her biological father and half siblings. Three months later she asked for a divorce for the second time. We had a tentative settlement in place but not signed, she agreed that she is not able to be the residential parent and currently I am and will continue to be

She has since reunited with the bilogical father, explained in detail to the child their previous marriage, and intent on getting married again. What are my rights to restrict the birth father from seeing the child, before and after he remarrys my wife? What, if any chances do I have of suing for back child support. It all appears as a long term con.

Its probably not a long term con...not if mom is willing to conceed that you should have primary custody. I think its a case of your wife not being able to commit to/choose between the two men who fathered her children.

I also agree that morally its right for your daughter to know/have a relationship with, all of her siblings.

You are not going to be able to stop bio-dad from having contact with your child if mom allows it, particularly if she marries him. However you can and should assert your position as the child's father, and not allow anyone to infringe on that.

[Harvest63]

Unfortunately I knew most of what everyone has replied in regards to any legal rights to prevent contact with her biological father. To answer some of the questions that were posed:

She was my wife when she became pregnant, but we were legally divorced before she was born. About the time she was born, my wife said she would have come back and not divorced me (the first time), but she knew she had to quit drinking. Not boasting here, but if it were not for me, she would have continued to drink (she drank through the first trimester). When she asked to come home after six weeks of her new marriage, I got her into treatment and my daughter was born healthy.

I have primary residential custody now and will continue in the proposed settlement of this divorce. Currently, joint custody in regards to decision making is in place. This is one thing I am considering changing before going in front of the court for the final decree. Other things I am considering is asking for supervised visitation, at least temporarily. My wife makes $7.50 an hour and using the Tennessee CS formula she is obligated for close to zero dollars, but I have heard some judges don't care what the non-residential parent makes if it is too low and will assign an amount outside of what the formula dictates.

I already believe in what some of you have said, I am her father. It says so on her birth certificate, she knows nothing else and considers him just a friend of her mothers. If it were not for a half sister, she wouldn't want much to do with him. I do already have my daughter in counseling. I also know that when she is old enough to see the big picture here, it will change what she thinks of her mother and "that other guy" It would be self serving and further confusing to her if I tried to explain exactly what has transpired over her 8 years. Children are hard-wired from birth to love their mothers and my daughter is no different. She is my only daughter, we had three sons from our first marriage (all grown) and I have done everything (including discipline and boundaries her mother can or will not provide) to have a strong, positive and role-model relationship with her. When she is grown, I want her to only accept a man who resembles the type of man I believe I am as opposed to thinking what her mother has done is okay for her to do.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Harvest63

Unfortunately I knew most of what everyone has replied in regards to any legal rights to prevent contact with her biological father. To answer some of the questions that were posed:

She was my wife when she became pregnant, but we were legally divorced before she was born. About the time she was born, my wife said she would have come back and not divorced me (the first time), but she knew she had to quit drinking. Not boasting here, but if it were not for me, she would have continued to drink (she drank through the first trimester). When she asked to come home after six weeks of her new marriage, I got her into treatment and my daughter was born healthy.

I have primary residential custody now and will continue in the proposed settlement of this divorce. Currently, joint custody in regards to decision making is in place. This is one thing I am considering changing before going in front of the court for the final decree. Other things I am considering is asking for supervised visitation, at least temporarily. My wife makes $7.50 an hour and using the Tennessee CS formula she is obligated for close to zero dollars, but I have heard some judges don't care what the non-residential parent makes if it is too low and will assign an amount outside of what the formula dictates.

I already believe in what some of you have said, I am her father. It says so on her birth certificate, she knows nothing else and considers him just a friend of her mothers. If it were not for a half sister, she wouldn't want much to do with him. I do already have my daughter in counseling. I also know that when she is old enough to see the big picture here, it will change what she thinks of her mother and "that other guy" It would be self serving and further confusing to her if I tried to explain exactly what has transpired over her 8 years. Children are hard-wired from birth to love their mothers and my daughter is no different. She is my only daughter, we had three sons from our first marriage (all grown) and I have done everything (including discipline and boundaries her mother can or will not provide) to have a strong, positive and role-model relationship with her. When she is grown, I want her to only accept a man who resembles the type of man I believe I am as opposed to thinking what her mother has done is okay for her to do.

Dad, mom would have to almost be an axe murderer for you to get sole legal custody and supervised visitation for mom.

Give up on those ideas entirely. Unless mom has a documentated outside history of putting the child in severe danger you are just going to be spinning your wheels on those issues.

[Harvest63]

Just an FYI on the outcome of a hearing on the motion I filed in regards to this post.

With my STBEX at the defendant's table and my daughter's biological father sitting in the last row of the courtroom**************...

Judge: The adoptive father has all rights and responsibilities in regards to his daughter. When the biological father signed away his rights and responsibilities, he acknowledged that he could not come in contact with this little girl. Now that he is reunited with the mother, and for a second time is partner to an adulterous affair changes nothing.

If he comes in contact with this girl, her legal father can press criminal charges. The motion is granted, the biological father is hereby restrained from coming into any contact with the minor child.

[Proserpina]

You wouldn't happen to have the docket number there, would you?

This one too, intrigues me.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Harvest63

Just an FYI on the outcome of a hearing on the motion I filed in regards to this post.

With my STBEX at the defendant's table and my daughter's biological father sitting in the last row of the courtroom**************...

Judge: The adoptive father has all rights and responsibilities in regards to his daughter. When the biological father signed away his rights and responsibilities, he acknowledged that he could not come in contact with this little girl. Now that he is reunited with the mother, and for a second time is partner to an adulterous affair changes nothing.

If he comes in contact with this girl, her legal father can press criminal charges. The motion is granted, the biological father is hereby restrained from coming into any contact with the minor child.

The bolded would have been extremely important to know. However if he or mom fights it, it is possible that could be overturned.

[stealth2]

I agree that Mom seems to need to get her crap together and do right by the kiddo. At least your daughter has one stable parent. Keep it up, dude. You ARE her Dad AND her father, in every sense of both words.