adult un-adoption

[bay venn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

I am interested in learning the steps to become unadopted as an adult. When I was seven my sister and I came home to find my mother dead at age 28. She died of a rare electrical disorder of the heart called Long QT syndrome, a silent killer which is difficult to diagnose. Usually it takes a second death in the immediate family which for us was my sister at age 43, died in her sleep. My father remarried shortly after my mother died, to an abusive prescription drug addicted alcoholic woman whose father was also an alcoholic who sexually abused me and my sister. This woman legally adopted us, and my father divorced her after we suffered for about 9 years. I would like my real mothers name on my birth certificate, not this woman who abused me and my family.
Is this possible?

Thank you, Bay

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by bay venn

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

I am interested in learning the steps to become unadopted as an adult. When I was seven my sister and I came home to find my mother dead at age 28. She died of a rare electrical disorder of the heart called Long QT syndrome, a silent killer which is difficult to diagnose. Usually it takes a second death in the immediate family which for us was my sister at age 43, died in her sleep. My father remarried shortly after my mother died, to an abusive prescription drug addicted alcoholic woman whose father was also an alcoholic who sexually abused me and my sister. This woman legally adopted us, and my father divorced her after we suffered for about 9 years. I would like my real mothers name on my birth certificate, not this woman who abused me and my family.
Is this possible?

Thank you, Bay

I am sorry, but no, it is not possible. Your biological mother would have to be alive to adopt you now, in order for that to be possible.

[bay venn]

I found a form (SS48.41(2)(c) Wisconsin Statutes that is an affidavit of Consent to Termination of Parental Rights. Is this option only available to natural parents?

Whatif the action to terminate parental rights originates with the ex-stepmother? Can a ex step parent choose to un-adopt an adult child?

If I can't get unadopted do I have any rights to her estate at her death?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by bay venn

I found a form (SS48.41(2)(c) Wisconsin Statutes that is an affidavit of Consent to Termination of Parental Rights. Is this option only available to natural parents?

Whatif the action to terminate parental rights originates with the ex-stepmother? Can a ex step parent choose to un-adopt an adult child?

If I can't get unadopted do I have any rights to her estate at her death?

if you get adopted by another woman as an adult adoption, you would have no ties to your legal mother.

your biological mother's mother (grandma) or maybe a biological aunt?

but like LD said, you cannot replace your mother on your birth certificate. sorry about that.

[tholt4]

Not familiar with Wisconson law, but wouldn't your real mother's name already be on your birth certificate?

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by tholt4

Not familiar with Wisconson law, but wouldn't your real mother's name already be on your birth certificate?

The BC would be changed to reflect the adoptive mother's name.

[bay venn]

I don't understand - a natural parent can have their parental righs terminated but an adoptive parent cannot? Does this become a moot point after age 18?

It just doesn't seem right. I'm sure you can imagine being 7 years old and coming home from school to be the first person to find your mother dead. After surviving this tragedy and then to be subjected to such abuse by the stepmother for so many years is just awful. Seeing her name of my birth certificate is very difficult. It has been 32 years with no contact. I'm sure she doesn't consider me her child and I don't consider her my mother.

Simple justice and closure for me would be for her name to be removed from my birth certificate and my mothers name replaced. This must go on all the time, people adopting and then getting divorced....really there is no reversing an adoption?????

Thank you for your feedback and input.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by bay venn

I don't understand - a natural parent can have their parental righs terminated but an adoptive parent cannot? Does this become a moot point after age 18?

It just doesn't seem right. I'm sure you can imagine being 7 years old and coming home from school to be the first person to find your mother dead. After surviving this tragedy and then to be subjected to such abuse by the stepmother for so many years is just awful. Seeing her name of my birth certificate is very difficult. It has been 32 years with no contact. I'm sure she doesn't consider me her child and I don't consider her my mother.

Simple justice and closure for me would be for her name to be removed from my birth certificate and my mothers name replaced. This must go on all the time, people adopting and then getting divorced....really there is no reversing an adoption?????


Thank you for your feedback and input.

if mom were alive, she could adopt her own daughter back. but since that isn't the case, it can't happen. mom cannot physically agree. it's not only physically impossible but legally as well.

if she wants legal mom (stepmom) off her birth certificate, have an aunt adopt.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by bay venn

I don't understand - a natural parent can have their parental righs terminated but an adoptive parent cannot? Does this become a moot point after age 18?

It just doesn't seem right. I'm sure you can imagine being 7 years old and coming home from school to be the first person to find your mother dead. After surviving this tragedy and then to be subjected to such abuse by the stepmother for so many years is just awful. Seeing her name of my birth certificate is very difficult. It has been 32 years with no contact. I'm sure she doesn't consider me her child and I don't consider her my mother.

Simple justice and closure for me would be for her name to be removed from my birth certificate and my mothers name replaced. This must go on all the time, people adopting and then getting divorced....really there is no reversing an adoption?????

Thank you for your feedback and input.

I am truly sorry, but an adoption is permanent. She is your mother and you are her daughter legally, just as if she gave birth to you. Emotionally neither of you feel that way, but that's legal reality. Its too late to terminate her parental rights because she basically has none because you are a legal adult.

The only thing that would change that is if you are adopted by someone else...and even that would be complicated because in most states that would remove your father from your birth certificate as well.

[bay venn]

Thank you everyone for your information. It is very sad that this adoption cannot be reversed. It is a legal document that I have to use from time to time (passport etc.) and it is tragic that this abuser's name is listed as my legal mother rather than my own mother. This should be changed in the law to remedy terrible situations like this. Is there ever an exception to rule? Can a judge rule some other way?

If I was adopted by another person, is Wisconsin a state where then my father's name would also be removed? That would be unacceptable.

Do I have any rights to her estate at her death? That would help pay for the counseling I had to go through to get over her abuse and the sexual abuse from her father, and of course the pain and suffering I had to survive.

For anyone who is reading this, here is some info about Long QT syndrome. If you have a family history of unexplained sudden death or fainting, get evaluated by an electrophysiologist (specialist of electrical system of the heart) and ask for a stress test with the Naughton protocol. Sads.org (sudden arrhythmia death syndrome) is a great website for more information.



Sincerely,
Bay

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by bay venn

Thank you everyone for your information. It is very sad that this adoption cannot be reversed. It is a legal document that I have to use from time to time (passport etc.) and it is tragic that this abuser's name is listed as my legal mother rather than my own mother. This should be changed in the law to remedy terrible situations like this. Is there ever an exception to rule? Can a judge rule some other way?

If I was adopted by another person, is Wisconsin a state where then my father's name would also be removed? That would be unacceptable.

Do I have any rights to her estate at her death? That would help pay for the counseling I had to go through to get over her abuse and the sexual abuse from her father, and of course the pain and suffering I had to survive.
For anyone who is reading this, here is some info about Long QT syndrome. If you have a family history of unexplained sudden death or fainting, get evaluated by an electrophysiologist (specialist of electrical system of the heart) and ask for a stress test with the Naughton protocol. Sads.org (sudden arrhythmia death syndrome) is a great website for more information.



Sincerely,
Bay

You would have the same rights that any other child of hers would have...and that depends on state law. In many states you would only have rights if she dies without a will.