Any Hope?

[DawnPlusTwo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Hello all... Back with yet another question.

My daughter is 7 years old. She was born in California. Paternity was established by default as dad never showed up for court on child support.

Dad met DD one time before paternity was established and informed me he wanted nothing to do with her and would not help to support her.

We moved to Oklahoma in 2005. To this day Dad has still made no efforts to contact us. Child support comes rarely ($5-$30 every 4-6 months). I have no idea where to even start looking for him. There have never been any custody orders.

I have a wonderful man in my life who my daughter adores. Yes, she obviously knows this man isn't her father but she loves him nonetheless. He and I will be married in the spring.

He has expressed an interest in adopting my daughter. My daughter has told him on several occasions that she wishes he were her daddy.

I know that an attorney would be absolutely necessary for an adoption and termination of dads rights.... But is this even a possibility for us in the future?
I don't want to give my fiancé falap hope that this could happen.

I know the FA crystal ball is MIA at the moment so no one can say for sure. But is it even possible with what I have posted?

Thanks very much for your time!

[frylover]

OK, I am NOT a lawyer, but I would think it could be done. How long you would have to be married and what hoops you would have to jump through to try find him first are questions for smarter people than me. I would guess that if dad is THAT uninterested that if you CAN find him he'd probably be happy to give up his rights.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Thank you Fry (sorry- my blackberry won't let me quote)

I'm not sure if he would do it voluntarily or not. I have no idea where to find him. I have searched Myspace, Facebook and Google countless times hoping to find him. And I can't find anything at all aside from the county in CA's court website which only listed some charges that have been brought against him.
Short of hiring a PI, I'm not sure where else to look.
Last I heard anyone say (this was in 2005) was that he lived in a homeless shelter

[Rushia]

I have the Ball currently, after I shook it, it told me that you should consult with an attorney. It believes that you may have a chance at an adoption.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Really Rushia? This is good news to hear.
Thanks for taking the time to shake the Ball for me =)


I have read over the guidelines for involuntary termination but I wasn't quite sure if only one of the requirements had to be met, or if its several of them.

[Rushia]

Originally Posted by DawnPlusTwo

Really Rushia? This is good news to hear.
Thanks for taking the time to shake the Ball for me =)


I have read over the guidelines for involuntary termination but I wasn't quite sure if only one of the requirements had to be met, or if its several of them.

Consult with an attorney. There should be a clause like "extreme disinterest" that might work for you. Since you don't have any idea of where he is you'll probably have to jump threw some hoops with service. Save up some money for an attorney so that all your i's are dotted and your t's are crossed.

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Since monies show up occasionally, CSE might have a slight inclination as to even a state where dad might live/ work. It sounds like you might have to use publication as the means of service, but it would help to at least have it in the correct state.

Does dad have any relatives that YOU might know/ could contact?

If dad has been that uninterested AND he finds that he's off the hook for future support, well ..... if you have never been on public assistance, you might even be able to waive arrearages to sweeten the pot.

[JKBee]

There is a website for finding people that is used by detectives, according to a recommendation by consumer guide's listing. It takes about $30 to join, but if he has any kind of police record or any history with a number of sources, this is something you might consider using to look for him. I can't find it offhand, but it should be easy for someone with alot more computer expertise than I own.

Good luck! Sounds like your husband would be a great legal father as well as the supportive father figure he already is.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Thanks so much to everyone who has answered! I really appreciate the help!

This would all occur sometime in the future (I'm thinking it would make an excellent 2011 birthday/fathers day gift for the two of them)

Now, Tink... I tried contacting CSE in California before the move and was told that even if they DID have an address or phone number for him, they couldn't share it with me. The last check I got was for 12 dollars and in the source field it listed "EDDwith" which I believe is unemployment.
If I called and told them I needed his address for service purposes would they have to give it to me? Or my attorney?

I guess my biggest worry is "stirring the pot" so to speak. While dad wants nothing to do with her NOW I would be willing to lay my last penny that he would suddenly want to step in and control things if he was ever approached about terminating his rights.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by DawnPlusTwo

Thanks so much to everyone who has answered! I really appreciate the help!

This would all occur sometime in the future (I'm thinking it would make an excellent 2011 birthday/fathers day gift for the two of them)

Now, Tink... I tried contacting CSE in California before the move and was told that even if they DID have an address or phone number for him, they couldn't share it with me. The last check I got was for 12 dollars and in the source field it listed "EDDwith" which I believe is unemployment.
If I called and told them I needed his address for service purposes would they have to give it to me? Or my attorney?
I guess my biggest worry is "stirring the pot" so to speak. While dad wants nothing to do with her NOW I would be willing to lay my last penny that he would suddenly want to step in and control things if he was ever approached about terminating his rights.

nope. you can send them the form that needs served and they can serve it for you. if it pertains to child support.

what might be a venue, is hiring a personal service agent, or anyone over the age of 18, file a child support modification, or even a contempt for non-payment, when dad shows up, personally have him served.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Thank you Isabella!


I like your idea, but I guess I'm not real sure how to accomplish all of this from 1450 miles away (I know, my own fault for moving)

[Seanscott]

In our case (Indiana) we got married and our attorney almost immediately filed a petitioin to adopt.
This puts the ball in the biological father's court. I would bet that he doesn't want the expenses of travel and legal fees. He possibly wouldn't even respond and the judge might terminate his parental rights and approve the adoption.
That's what happened in our case. We didn't waste time asking bio-dad to give up his rights, we just went through the courts and let them handle everything.
He attended the first couple hearings and then we never heard another word from him.

[Seanscott]

Also - see if your state has a "putative father" registry.