Any ideas appreciated

[Jwlz8868]

I have a somewhat unique situation and am seeking guidance. Me and my siblings have a man who has been in our lives since a very young age. We are now all in our 20s. Him and my mother never got married but instead formed a "life partner" kind of relationship. For symbolism purposes, we would like to make him our legal father. However, when I asked an attorney in my state, she told me that my mother would have to give up her parental rights since they are not married in order for him to adopt us. This is not an option for us. Is there anything else out there that we can do? Any help is appreciated. He is a great man and it's well overdue that we give him the title he deserves. Thank you.

 

[justalayman]

"My state" is not a part of the United States. If you live in of the the US 50, please provide that

Does everybody live in the same state?

 

[CTU]

I have a somewhat unique situation and am seeking guidance. Me and my siblings have a man who has been in our lives since a very young age. We are now all in our 20s. Him and my mother never got married but instead formed a "life partner" kind of relationship. For symbolism purposes, we would like to make him our legal father. However, when I asked an attorney in my state, she told me that my mother would have to give up her parental rights since they are not married in order for him to adopt us. This is not an option for us. Is there anything else out there that we can do? Any help is appreciated. He is a great man and it's well overdue that we give him the title he deserves. Thank you.

The attorney is correct - in the US, at least.

 

[justalayman]

The attorney is correct - in the US, at least.

Not according to Duke Law

http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1221&context=djglp


A second parent adoption has apparently been granted in some states. That publication cites cases in both New Jersey and New York (and maybe others but I didn't continue reading)

 

[LdiJ]

Not according to Duke Law

http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1221&context=djglp


A second parent adoption has apparently been granted in some states. That publication cites cases in both New Jersey and New York (and maybe others but I didn't continue reading)

Does it reference that in relationship to adult adoption?

 

[justalayman]

Does it reference that in relationship to adult adoption?

You think that matters why? Many states do not differentiate between an adult adoption and a minor adoption. In fact some of the states where there is no difference even require a home study be performed to ensure the adoption is in the best interest of "the child".


My simple point is making a blanket statement that no state allows an adoption where one of the existing legal parents retains their legal relationship with the adoptee when the second parent is not a spouse of the parent retaining their legal status is incorrect. Second parent adoptions have been allowed in some states. Many attorneys will provide the blanket "no state allows second parent adoptions" because they are not aware some states do. In fact, in perusing the web I have seen q and a sites where attorneys from states that have allowed second parent adoptions have responded with a resounding; nope, not happening. Law is a living and evolving entity. If they don't practice in areas of the law involving second parent adoptions and associated areas of law (it involves the lgbt- whatever community a lot), they simply may not be aware of the changes taking place.

I asked the state involved because it does make a difference (just as it does in almost every question posed here) It wasn't out of enjoyment of punching a keyboard. The state(s) involved does make a difference and as much as I enjoy researching, I'm not going to research 50 states for such a question.

 

[LdiJ]

You think that matters why? Many states do not differentiate between an adult adoption and a minor adoption. In fact some of the states where there is no difference even require a home study be performed to ensure the adoption is in the best interest of "the child".


My simple point is making a blanket statement that no state allows an adoption where one of the existing legal parents retains their legal relationship with the adoptee when the second parent is not a spouse of the parent retaining their legal status is incorrect. Second parent adoptions have been allowed in some states. Many attorneys will provide the blanket "no state allows second parent adoptions" because they are not aware some states do. In fact, in perusing the web I have seen q and a sites where attorneys from states that have allowed second parent adoptions have responded with a resounding; nope, not happening. Law is a living and evolving entity. If they don't practice in areas of the law involving second parent adoptions and associated areas of law (it involves the lgbt- whatever community a lot), they simply may not be aware of the changes taking place.

I asked the state involved because it does make a difference (just as it does in almost every question posed here) It wasn't out of enjoyment of punching a keyboard. The state(s) involved does make a difference and as much as I enjoy researching, I'm not going to research 50 states for such a question.

That was not snark or an argument JAL. It was a question. I know that in the past some states did not allow adult adoptions and some states that did, had different rules for adult adoptions. I have not had cause to research adult adoptions for several years, hence my question.

I certainly agree that the state involved is an absolute requirement.

 

[justalayman]

That was not snark or an argument JAL. It was a question. I know that in the past some states did not allow adult adoptions and some states that did, had different rules for adult adoptions. I have not had cause to research adult adoptions for several years, hence my question.

I certainly agree that the state involved is an absolute requirement.

My response wasn't meant snippy like I see it now, as well, that I re-read it. My apologies.

I should probably proof read my posts better before posting

 

[LdiJ]

My response wasn't meant snippy like I see it now, as well, that I re-read it. My apologies.

I should probably proof read my posts better before posting

No worries, its all good.