Arrears after adoption

[mchery80]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? nj

I am humbled as I explain my situation to you and pled that you hear my case from the point of a father that is truly trying to change and grow...

I have three children by three different women ages 16, 10 & 20 months. The mother of my middle child and I were married briefly about a year or so after the birth of our daughter was born in 1999. Before my daughter was conceived, I made my ex clearly aware of the fact that I did not want to have a child with her and she insisted that she was on birth control, well that was a lie, and later came out that she had deceived me to get pregnant. Unwillingly had to do "the right thing". It has now been 10 years of going back and forth with this woman. I originally had a relationship with my daughter for about 6 years until her mother began to become more and more difficult to communicate with and my daughter’s relationship with her mother's boyfriend grew. Her mother moved in with this man around the time my daughter was three. They later had a child together in 2007 and married.

This "back and forth" ended up in me giving up my parental rights this past December 2008 and allowing my biological daughter to be adopted by her stepfather. The original agreement between us was that all financial obligations were to be terminated. Well, in the fancy legal jargon this got mixed up/misunderstood and now I am expected to pay the $5000.00 in arrears. My ex refuses to sign the waiver to release this and now a levy has been put on my bank account which held my grant money for college.

With three girls, my youngest being with my current fiancé; I have been trying to get our lives together. I have been going to college; we live a normal family life in a happy home with love and respect. Finally finding a true family in my oldest, youngest and fiancé. I have willingly accepted the loss of my middle child in hopes that it would be best for all those involved including her (morally, emotionally and financially). My youngest has suffered the greatest financial loss in that all my money has been going to the middle child who happened to have the highest amount of child support paid out. Not only this, but she has suffered the loss of time with her parents because her mother has been forced to work full time in order to provide the means for us to live, while the middle childs mother continued to work part-time and receive child support. My fiancé and our girls are booked to leave for a destination wedding in Jamaica this October and my passport privileges have been frozen.

You may wonder my reason for having the arrears so high is because for the past 2 years we have been going through the courts for this adoption and because of our financial agreement the child support has not been paid because she " did not want it and it was going to be terminated anyway". We have been having this argument for the past 3.5 years. In the family courts it is clearly documented that all rights, obligations and duties are to be terminated. In the documents from the surrogates’ office it is stated from that day forward the rights, obligations and duties are to be terminated.

My question to you is, do I have a case? Or should I just drop the issue and find the cash. Although, I do see now in the court documents from the adoption state in a wispy washy way that the child support is to be terminated from that day forward. However, in previous cases we had attended in family court she clearly states and signs that she is in agreement to complete and total termination of rights, financial obligation, duties, etc. Not only this, but it was a well discussed issue between the two of us for the past 3.5 years that all financial obligation would be terminated and she is now going back on it.

With all due respect to the children involved, my goal is to have this problem solved and abolished from the mental & physical consumption it has upon my family and me.

[TheGeekess]

Dude, this is the third thread you've started on this board about this very same situation.

The song remains the same. Find the money.

[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/child-support-arrears-after-adoption-460410.html[/url]

[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/child-support-after-arrears-460401.html[/url]

[mchery80]

I do apologize. I have been trying to figure out how this forum works

[bononos again]

Originally Posted by mchery80

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? nj

I am humbled as I explain my situation to you and pled that you hear my case from the point of a father that is truly trying to change and grow...

I have three children by three different women ages 16, 10 & 20 months. The mother of my middle child and I were married briefly about a year or so after the birth of our daughter was born in 1999. Before my daughter was conceived, I made my ex clearly aware of the fact that I did not want to have a child with her and she insisted that she was on birth control, well that was a lie, and later came out that she had deceived me to get pregnant. Unwillingly had to do "the right thing". It has now been 10 years of going back and forth with this woman. I originally had a relationship with my daughter for about 6 years until her mother began to become more and more difficult to communicate with and my daughter’s relationship with her mother's boyfriend grew. Her mother moved in with this man around the time my daughter was three. They later had a child together in 2007 and married.

This "back and forth" ended up in me giving up my parental rights this past December 2008 and allowing my biological daughter to be adopted by her stepfather. The original agreement between us was that all financial obligations were to be terminated. Well, in the fancy legal jargon this got mixed up/misunderstood and now I am expected to pay the $5000.00 in arrears. My ex refuses to sign the waiver to release this and now a levy has been put on my bank account which held my grant money for college.

With three girls, my youngest being with my current fiancé; I have been trying to get our lives together. I have been going to college; we live a normal family life in a happy home with love and respect. Finally finding a true family in my oldest, youngest and fiancé. I have willingly accepted the loss of my middle child in hopes that it would be best for all those involved including her (morally, emotionally and financially). My youngest has suffered the greatest financial loss in that all my money has been going to the middle child who happened to have the highest amount of child support paid out. Not only this, but she has suffered the loss of time with her parents because her mother has been forced to work full time in order to provide the means for us to live, while the middle childs mother continued to work part-time and receive child support. My fiancé and our girls are booked to leave for a destination wedding in Jamaica this October and my passport privileges have been frozen. You may wonder my reason for having the arrears so high is because for the past 2 years we have been going through the courts for this adoption and because of our financial agreement the child support has not been paid because she " did not want it and it was going to be terminated anyway". We have been having this argument for the past 3.5 years. In the family courts it is clearly documented that all rights, obligations and duties are to be terminated. In the documents from the surrogates’ office it is stated from that day forward the rights, obligations and duties are to be terminated.

My question to you is, do I have a case? Or should I just drop the issue and find the cash. Although, I do see now in the court documents from the adoption state in a wispy washy way that the child support is to be terminated from that day forward. However, in previous cases we had attended in family court she clearly states and signs that she is in agreement to complete and total termination of rights, financial obligation, duties, etc. Not only this, but it was a well discussed issue between the two of us for the past 3.5 years that all financial obligation would be terminated and she is now going back on it.

With all due respect to the children involved, my goal is to have this problem solved and abolished from the mental & physical consumption it has upon my family and me.

How loverly for you to head on down to Jamica when you owe $5000 in arrears, your fiancee is forced to work full-time. Your child does without. And, you have the nerve to plan such an expensive trip.
Why not cancel the trip and use that money to pay your obligfation!
Go to the JP to get married.