Bio dads parents took his children around child given upwhat privacy rights are there

[rmd]

What is the name of your state? Indiana
I had posted before (if you would like to read it). My husband had given up parental rights to a child that he had supposedly fathered (no DNA was done) when he was 18. The birth mom and her husband which she married after they had broken up, adopted her. Now, nearly 9 yrs later and after repeated requests his parents, against our wishes and without our consent or knowledge (we had told them not to) taken our 5 yr old and our 3 month old around this child. We later found out after our son angerly told us of it. He had no prior knowledge of this possiable half-sibling which was given up. We had wanted to wait till he was older and my husband had delt with the pain from the sitution. We confronted his parents only to have them lashout at us and inform us that they would take them around her if they wanted to (reguardless of our wishes or consent) and that if the child given up ever asked them to see her bio dad, they would (without asking us) "drop her off at our door step". I understand that we will have to deal with this in time, but for now we emotionally cannot. Is their taking our children without our consent around this child a violation of our privacy along with theirs? Can they really just "drop her at our door step"? My son is very upset, isn't this in some way emotional abuse or a violation in anyway to him? This is a very hard subject to us, and also, I believe, to the adopted child as my husband is still dealing with the trauma of a relationship where his first love cheated on him and is still questioning his paternity, and we do not want to go around her with this anomosity. Isn't there anything we can do to protect our privacy? Thank you so much.

[stealth2]

You don't have to allow his parents to take your children anywhere. However, once you let them walk out the door with them, it's pretty much out of your hands. However, you and your husband are in no position to bar them from seeing and spending time with the 9yo if her mother consents. Should they bring the child to your home, neither of you are under any obligation to answer to door or speak with the child.

But after 9 years, your husband needs to man up and deal with his emotional issues. Whether the child is his biologically or not no longer matters - the child is not his as she has been legally adopted.

[LdiJ]

I am not sure that I would even give grandma any warning. I would simply tell grandma that since she refuses to respect your wishes as parents, that from now on she will have to visit with the children in your home.

Also, if she threatens you with grandparent rights, tell her to "pound sand". Since you and your husband are in intact family, she has no standing to sue for grandparent visitation in Indiana.

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I am not sure that I would even give grandma any warning. I would simply tell grandma that since she refuses to respect your wishes as parents, that from now on she will have to visit with the children in your home.

Also, if she threatens you with grandparent rights, tell her to "pound sand". Since you and your husband are in intact family, she has no standing to sue for grandparent visitation in Indiana.

I agree. It sounds as if the OP and her husband have already talked to the grandparents about this and they still plan to refuse to listen to the parents. This IMO is a situtation of REALLY overstepping boundaries.

[rmd]

Thank you all for your input. I was really questioning wether I was the one wrong in the situation here. You all were right in the same direction that I was in thinking. It is VERY damaging to all of us, especially the children. I feel horriable for the situation that they have put the child in, one where it is not only destroying her bio dads family, but also scarring her. I have no idea what they will say to her, most likely that her father wants nothing to do with her and awful things of that nature. How confusing and how sad. Thank you for confirming what I believed and I will take heart of your advice. My husband and I are seeking professional help as well as some for our son.
Thank you so much.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by rmd

I have no idea what they will say to her, most likely that her father wants nothing to do with her and awful things of that nature.

Not to be mean, but that's pretty much the truth, isn't it?