Bio father to readopt after step-adoption

[mommymb]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My son's bio father signed over rights so that my husband could adopt my son. This was completed in April. By november we were out of the house to avoid his abuse. My son has always kept contact with his bio father and was adopted for the purpose of making things easier on him as he is fully autistic. Long story short, adoptive father wants to terminate the adoption since he "never wanted my child" and I am needless to say interested in finding out if this is possible. My son's bio father wants to reinstate his rights also which has been something that I have been told would help the courts decide whether or not to allow the overturning. I wish there was another way to keep my son safe but for right now he is still in danger from my soon to be ex husband and I want to try and fix that.

[stealth2]

So in the space of roughly six months, your stbx became abusive enough for you to leave?

[mommymb]

Roughly...yes. We married in September and everything was fine. Within that year he began abusing my son physically and myself verbally. We never knew what to expect from him since he would be fine one second and screaming the next. It was too much for us to handle and definately made my son's autism much worse for the time that we were there. My son was sick and confused to the point that I couldn't differentiate the self abuse wounds on him from the ones my stbx would leave. No mother should be questioned leaving a man who hurt her baby...

[stealth2]

And he didn't become abusive until he adopted the boy?

[mommymb]

No, not physically. He never had anything to do with him as far as disciplining or getting onto him before then. Once the adoption was final he felt like it was his job to discipline him he went crazy with it. We talked about it many times and he finally told me that he hated the way my son was and that he hated him for being that way. My son, being autistic, is a very hard child to take care of if you don't understand him or at least try to. You can discipline him all day and he will still not be able to look you in the eye or understand why you are mad that he isn't talking to you.

[rmet4nzkx]

Even if you married, there was no reason to adopt the child especially if he had a relationship with his father, so theremust be more to this. Is there anything related to providing for your son's care that is different betwen his natural and adopted father? Also you should have had some clues prior to adoption.

[mommymb]

I think I don't fully understand what you meant by something different in their care? Maybe I am just reading it wrong though.

The clues that I didn't have before I allowed him to adopt my son should even be an issue but to tell you the truth he gave me the same perception of him that he gave everyone else. No one I know or that knows him would have ever beleived that he would have done that to my son. Stress changes people and having a special needs child always adds stress. The biggest red flag was seeing how he dealt with stress and knowing that we could not handle worrying about it that much. This wasn't an isolated even either. It was daily.

[stealth2]

I think you should likely speak with an attorney ergarding how to best handle this - it's a messy situation which may get messier.

I guess what I don't understand is why & how this adoption even came to pass. Your son apparently had a good and ongoing relationship with his biological father - why was an adoption necessary? Whose idea was the adoption? How long did you and the stbx know one another before marrying?

[rmet4nzkx]

How old is your child?
What type of medical coverage does/did your child have with each father?
Any special education schools/programs/respite care, child support?

[mommymb]

My son is 4 1/2 and is in a regular school district for all special ed services. His bio father lives almost 4 hours away and basically allowed the adoption soley for the pupose of allowing my son to have a single home. For an autistic kid that can make all of the difference in the world. the adoption was allowed to help with any decisions that would have to be made by my husband in case of my absence reguarding the care and treatment of my son. He also was to get him on his insurance plan whi ch would not allow it since he wasn't the legal father. My son was dropped from his bio father's insurance due to repeated illness. His bio fatherhas been in touch by phone and occasional visits as a friend. My son doesn't know him as Dad. No one is paying child support currently since I am still legally married and I carry emergency care insurance on him only right now. My son and I have moved back with my parents withint 2 miles of his bio father.

[rmet4nzkx]

The adoption makes your son the legal child of the adoptive father, they must allow him on the insurance as they would a natural child, see to it that the adoptive father gets him on the policy and also apply for child support from the adoptive father, do these things even if you are only separated. establish jurisdiction where you are and apply for custody and child support there. Check re additional health services: [url]http://www.dshs.state.tx.us[/url]
At this point establish the legal responsibilities and let the adoptive dad assume his responsibilities and keep the lines open to biodad, you don't have to live together and you can and should get child support, don't reward him for his inappropriate behavior.

[mommymb]

I agree that he should have to be the father that he is legally. How do I go about beginning child support from him while we are separated? He won't put him on his insurance unless he is made to. Also how do I 'establish jurisdiction'?

[stealth2]

File for temporary orders along with the divorce paperwork. The judge will most likely grant you child support as well as order your stbx to provide health insurance.

[rmet4nzkx]

Go down to the courthouse and file separation/divorce, for custody/child support/ medical care you can do that while you are separated. If he has to be forced then force him don't let him play games.

[mommymb]

I am going to do that as soon as possible. Is there any way that he will be able to relinquish rights? Also, since there is no documentation of the abuse will he definately get visitation? He would keep visitation just to irritate me but I know that it isn't best for my kid. I just don't know what he would have to go through to dissolve the adoption, or if it is even possible.