biological father's rights

What is the name of your state? Idaho.

My husband (D) had a child with an ex-girlfriend 7 years ago. Ever since then, he's been wanting to have that child adopted by the ex-girlfriends husband, which the husband wanted as well, & give up all of his parental rights. "D" has no visitation with the child & pays child support. The problem is - the ex does not ever go through with the adoption process! I believe she's lingering on to some hope that "D" will want to be with her again (which is NOT going to happen!!!!). Anyways, "D" wanted to give up all rights to this child, but she won't let him!!! Anything he can do? or does he just sit back, pay support, until this crazy woman gets over herself???

Hope this makes sense....

Please help!!!

Thank you very much.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally posted by curiousinID
What is the name of your state? Idaho.

My husband (D) had a child with an ex-girlfriend 7 years ago. Ever since then, he's been wanting to have that child adopted by the ex-girlfriends husband, which the husband wanted as well, & give up all of his parental rights. "D" has no visitation with the child & pays child support. The problem is - the ex does not ever go through with the adoption process! I believe she's lingering on to some hope that "D" will want to be with her again (which is NOT going to happen!!!!). Anyways, "D" wanted to give up all rights to this child, but she won't let him!!! Anything he can do? or does he just sit back, pay support, until this crazy woman gets over herself???

Hope this makes sense....

Please help!!!

Thank you very much.

My response:

I don't think that "she" cares about getting back with "D". She's remarried.

However, why would someone want to adopt a child when the child is being paid for by someone else? In this monetary situation, they have the child, yet they don't have to come up with all the money to rear the child! In other words, they are "having their cake and eating it too!"

If "D" thinks it's otherwise, then I've got some news for "D" . . .


IAAL

Thanks for the responses so far.

However, I feel I need to make myself more clear:

1. "D" has not paid child support in about a year, due to the fact the ex-girlfriend told him she'd go through with the adoption & that she didn't want him to pay anymore. In fact, she told him she was going to pay a portion of it back, which she has not.

2. I believe she's holding back because she wants "D" back because of past experiences - she once flew over 3,000 miles to see "D", while she was married, without "D" requesting her to - and, upon her arrival, he told her to go home to her husband. Also, she had all of the forms filled out, ready to go - until we got married. Now, she's saying flat out "no", she's not sending in the papers, & she's upset that he's introducing me to their mutual friends.

3. I have no relationship with her, or the child (neither does "D") and I do not want any contact with her. I just want her to stop holding this process up. It's been 7 years!!!

So, basically, "D" wants to terminate his rights as the "father". Is this possible? Even if the ex / mother doesn't go through with this process?

Thanks again.

As a general rule most judges will not allow an absent parent to simply abdicate their rights.

IN most cases it must be a situation where there is a willing party ready and able by statute to adopt.

Your husband may wish he could simply "quit" which is what he really is what he would be doing.

If "surrender" were allowed every chil support paying parent would "surrender" and many children would sink to below poverty level.

unfortunately unless the mother follows through, your hubby is stuck.

He won't be able to "force" the issue. But if the "childsupport" he is paying is court ordered and he hasn't paid in over a year, he could end up in court on contempt.

His best bet is to pay his support until the "order of termination" is decreed and if he's that upset about paying for a child he doesn't see, he should petition for visitation.