Can I start step parent adoptions?

[ajritter04]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico

Can I start step parent adoptions on my own without a lawyer? My husband wants to adopt my two children who have NEVER seen their bio dads. One is 7 and the other is 5 neither dads have paid support or spent any time with the children...I don't even know where the dads are at(yes 2 kids 2 different dads) I have been with my husband for 6 yrs we have been married for 5. How do I go about getting this done without the expensive lawyers?

Edit: I have posted before about e-harassing from one of my ex's and his gf before....neither have been around my children and neither dad is on the BC I am the only parent on the BC's.

[Dogmatique]

Was paternity legally established?

Have there been any court orders?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by ajritter04

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico

Can I start step parent adoptions on my own without a lawyer? My husband wants to adopt my two children who have NEVER seen their bio dads. One is 7 and the other is 5 neither dads have paid support or spent any time with the children...I don't even know where the dads are at(yes 2 kids 2 different dads) I have been with my husband for 6 yrs we have been married for 5. How do I go about getting this done without the expensive lawyers?

Edit: I have posted before about e-harassing from one of my ex's and his gf before....neither have been around my children and neither dad is on the BC I am the only parent on the BC's.

Did you get married before or after the birth of the 5 year old?

[ajritter04]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Did you get married before or after the birth of the 5 year old?

a couple months after.... dated during. He was there during birth and took us home from the hospital....we talked about having him sign BC at hospital but that's as far as it got.

No paternity, no courts again I don't know where either father is. Yes my bad choices.

[Dogmatique]

You need an attorney for this - both fathers should be notified (via publication at the very least, and this only when you've made a jolly good effort to serve them the usual ways) and then they'll have the chance to either exercise their rights and establish custody/visitation (and CS), or agree to your husband adopting the children.

If you try this without taking the proper steps it can seriously come back to haunt you in the future.

On a side note without a court order neither Dad is obligated to pay any support and this generally wouldn't be held against them at this point in time. If and when there is a court order in place and if and when Dad/s won't pay, then you can look into TPR for abandonment (assuming neither Dad actually utilizes their visitation)

Be prepared for one or both Dads absolutely wanting visitation if they are ordered to pay CS. It's sad (in my very tiny little opinion) but many NCPs have the "If I'm paying I want to see the kid I'm supporting" mindset.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by ajritter04

a couple months after.... dated during. He was there during birth and took us home from the hospital....we talked about having him sign BC at hospital but that's as far as it got.

No paternity, no courts again I don't know where either father is. Yes my bad choices.

If he signed the BC he (and YOU) would have been committing fraud. You will have to get an attorney as you will have to notify both fathers -- you know their names? -- as well as do John Doe service for each child to deal with paternity. You need an attorney.

[ajritter04]

Both dads know where we are at we haven't moved and and both dads have been to my house before I got pregnant. So they know but don't care I did tell my sons fathers mother(that sounded much better in my head) That we had my son tested for Autism and he is Autistic the only thing I got from anybody on that side was from my ex's gf her telling me she's sorry I got stuck with such a ****ing little retard. Besides that no contact. I went to get child support for both kids but because I don't have an address or any info other than names CSED told me I would have to get more information than that for them to try and collect.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by ajritter04

Both dads know where we are at we haven't moved and and both dads have been to my house before I got pregnant. So they know but don't care I did tell my sons fathers mother(that sounded much better in my head) That we had my son tested for Autism and he is Autistic the only thing I got from anybody on that side was from my ex's gf her telling me she's sorry I got stuck with such a ****ing little retard. Besides that no contact. I went to get child support for both kids but because I don't have an address or any info other than names CSED told me I would have to get more information than that for them to try and collect.

Then service by publication won't work for your case...you know them, you know where they live, you know their families.

[ajritter04]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Then service by publication won't work for your case...you know them, you know where they live, you know their families.

No I don't know where they live(ex's) and their families wont have anything to do with us. And both dads have moved away and their families wont tell where I don't even know if the families are where they used to live...the last time I talked to them my son was 2.

[Dogmatique]

You still have to make every effort to notify the fathers.

The bottom line is you need to speak with an attorney to make sure nothing will come back and haunt you.

Again though, be prepared for the Dads to file for visitation if they actually are ordered to pay CS.

[ajritter04]

this is kind of along the same lines as this and I didn't see the need to make a new thread...If i do then mods/admins can you delete this and pm me to tell me to make a new thread please?

Being that I am the only parent on both of my kids BC's is there a way I can change their last names?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by ajritter04

this is kind of along the same lines as this and I didn't see the need to make a new thread...If i do then mods/admins can you delete this and pm me to tell me to make a new thread please?

Being that I am the only parent on both of my kids BC's is there a way I can change their last names?

you will still need to contact the dads.