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  1. #1
    kelseycaldwell is offline Junior Member
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    Can my boyfriend adopt my daughter?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA
    I wanted to know if it is possible for my boyfriend to adopt my daughter in orange county ca without us getting married. We will be getting married but not until next year and her father is in jail for violent crimes and my boyfriend wants her to have the same last name as her brother who is our son.
  2. #2
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Judges are remarkably reluctant to allow unmarried people to adopt children.

    What does the child's father say? Is he willing to allow the adoption? Being imprisoned does not void his parental rights.
  3. #3
    kelseycaldwell is offline Junior Member
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    My ex husband says that he doesnt want anything to do with her anymore. He will sign over his rights
  4. #4
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Most judges will want you married a year before they will allow the adoption.

    I would ask an attorney in your area... adoption is not one of those DIY legal things.
  5. #5
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelseycaldwell View Post
    My ex husband says that he doesnt want anything to do with her anymore. He will sign over his rights
    Wait until you have been married for at least one year. Ex being willing to relinquish his rights will make the adoption easier, but you still need to be married first.
  6. #6
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, if he can pass a home study and qualify to adopt as a single, he may be able to adopt your child - if dad agrees. However, it won't be as a stepparent, it would be as a single parent. At some point after you marry him, you can do a step parent adoption and become the child's mother legally.
    Last edited by nextwife; 01-02-2009 at 08:37 PM.
  7. #7
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    kelsey,
    nextwife is our adoption guru, her advice is more accurate than mine. You and BF should get a consult with an adoption attorney.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Correction:

    I don't know of any LA or Orange County judge that would allow a boyfriend to adopt a child, home study or not. Judges would be EXTREMELY reluctant to ok a lifetime committment between a child and a man who has not even shown a committment between that man and the child's mother.
  9. #9
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Correction:

    I don't know of any LA or Orange County judge that would allow a boyfriend to adopt a child, home study or not. Judges would be EXTREMELY reluctant to ok a lifetime committment between a child and a man who has not even shown a committment between that man and the child's mother.
    I, unfortunately, agree.

    When I said most judges insist upon a marital bond, I have never heard of a case where one was NOT required.

    Most was simply stated because I have not been in every courthouse in the country.
  10. #10
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Correction:

    I don't know of any LA or Orange County judge that would allow a boyfriend to adopt a child, home study or not. Judges would be EXTREMELY reluctant to ok a lifetime committment between a child and a man who has not even shown a committment between that man and the child's mother.
    I know plenty of single adoptive parents who had no relationship whatsoever to the bio mom or biodad.

    I had no relationship to either of my child's bioparents. I have a friend in the adoption community who has adopted seven as a single, and had NO relationship to either of the kid's bioparents.

    Adopting does not require a relationship with the bioparent. That is only necessary if it is a step adoption, not if one adopts as a single sole parent..
    Last edited by nextwife; 01-02-2009 at 08:38 PM.
  11. #11
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife View Post
    I know plenty of single adoptive parents who had no relationship whatsoever to the bio mom or biodad.

    I had no relationship to either of my child's bioparents. I have a friend in the adoption community who has adopted seven as a single, and had NO relationship to either of the kid's bioparents.

    Adopting does not require a relationship with the bioparent. That is only necessary if it is a step adoption, not if one adopts as a single sole parent..
    Nextwife, you are missing it completely just so you can go on your banter with how many people you know who have done (and I'm surprised your parents haven't done it). Do you realize that the OP is asking how her boyfriend can adopt her child and terminate JUST the father's rights?

    So what. You had no relationship with either of your child's bioparents. Are one of your child's bioparents STILL their parent or are you and your husband your child's sole legal parents????
  12. #12
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    I, unfortunately, agree.
    Why is it unfortunate that you agree with me?????
  13. #13
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    You are comparing being a child's ONLY parent to a child that already HAS two parents.

    Judges are reluctant to allow an adoption of a "partner" of a parent. The judges are concerned, quite rightly, that the child doesn't need a parent in their life that will leave when it gets too weird.

    True, divorce still happens, but that is the only mechanism we have.
  14. #14
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Why is it unfortunate that you agree with me?????
    Very funny...

    It is unfortunate that we couldn't give her the answer she wanted....

    i tell ya, make one little resolution about trying to be nicer and EVERYONE picks on you.

    Sniff.
  15. #15
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    Very funny...

    It is unfortunate that we couldn't give her the answer she wanted....

    i tell ya, make one little resolution about trying to be nicer and EVERYONE picks on you.

    Sniff.
    Wait... did I make a resolution to be nicer???? If I did, I take it back. I think there's a 24 hour return policy on resolutions. Otherwise... I'm just joshin ya Unca Jeffy

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