Can the paternal grandmother adopt?

[BAE]

Pennsylvania

My grandson has a hearing in March 2003 to finalize his adoption.This has been going on for over a year because the father refuses to sign over his rights and the agency has decided to take them involuntarily against his will because he refused to respond to any of their letters. Now my daughter was to terminate the contract and they have refused to acknowledge it. I would like to know if I would be able to file for the custody of my grandson before this adoption is final? I also need to know if I have any rights to decide if he needs major surgery or is it just up to the people he has been living with for 1 year?

 

[Seanscott]

Did your daughter sign a contract with an adoption agency to put her child up for adoption?

If so, you can file for custody, but you are going to have a rough battle. You both are allowed to go to the adoption hearings and make your feelings known.

If the mother's rights are terminated, then the whole family is nothing more than a stranger to the child. If she is no longer the mother, then you are no longer the grandparent.

If you & your daughter want to stop the adoption, then SHE needs to get to a lawyer ASAP. Once her rights are terminated - it's too late.

 

[BAE]

So I can go to the court and apply for custody. Yes, my daughter did sign a contract and she was told that she had six months to change her mind up until they went to court which is usually in six months. Since they had to constanly serve the father for not responding this case has not appeared in court and is scheduled next month. Would she still be able to cancel her contract since she had 6 months or until they went to court?

 

[Seanscott]

I would imagine it is six months from the time she signed the contract.

Adoptions & terminations are two separate issues, frequently involving two different judges. Since the father didn't answer the court papers, the hearing goes on without him as if he agreed. His refusal to participate does not affect your daughter's contract.

The key to you gaining custody is this contract. You can file for custody, but if the contract remains in force, you & your family will lose all rights.

Obviously I don't know your situation, but you have to get out of the contract FIRST before you have any hope of custody. You have to stop the termination proceedings against your daughter FIRST.

I'm not a lawyer, just someone who's had to learn the process the hard way. Wishing you good luck.

 

[BAE]

Thank you for your opinion. However, I have been trying to put a stop to this from the very begining. It isn't my fault that I have been ignored regarding this adoption. This is something my daughter did to be spitefull and out of anger towards the father. I have pleaded with the agency and was always told that ONLY my daughter can terminate the contract by which they lied because now if she pursues to revoke it they will take her parental rights involuntarily anyway. I don't think it is fair to me that as his grandmother I can't fight to keep him. I have two of his brothers and don't see why I can't let them all grow up together. You being an adoptive mom and all is good for you. But you don't know me so keep your opinions to yourself. I'm already hurt and beat up enough trying to get my grandson since birth without someone like you to make it look like I did nothing until a year later! So do me a favor and take care of your adopted kid(s)and let me get advise from someone who understands my struggle.

Oh and by the way Nextwife, don't ever put my grandson in the same catagory or comparison to a car or anything else. I know they love my grandson, but because he has MY genes, I love him more and I'm willing to do what ever I have to.

 

[BAE]

It is also the intended adoptive parents responsibility to see to it that he gets the best possible care from a reliable doctor. 2. As for maintaining a relationship, there is an agreement for visits. ALL visits have been broken for some reason or another and we have seen him twice within the year. First when he was 2 months then when he turned one. They allowed my daughter to name him and than go behind her back and re-name him because it will offend the all White town she lives in because they will not understand his given name.Than why ask her to name him and why adopt a BLACK child if there is going to be a problem with his name. The child is very ill and they were told and believed that it was related to him teething. I had to ask my kids doctor because this didn't make any sense to me. It was confirmed that it isn't related to him teething. There are so many issues here that you are not aware of. We would never pull him out of the house for no apparent reason. So PLEASE back off and be a good parent for your adoptive kid(s) and let me take care and worry about getting mine before it's too late.

 

[djohnson]

nextwife, even though I agree with your thoughts you have to understand not everyone's situation is like yours. This site is to try and help not critisize based on your own personal experience. It make you seem small minded and I know that wasn't your intention.

To original poster, with the exception of nextwife, you were given someoptions but to be honest none look good. I think if you are able, the best thing you can do is get legal representation. It looks like you keep getting the run around until everything is going to be finalized. You need to find a lawyer really bad if you stand any chance at this point, this is just my opinion.

 

[BAE]

Thank you djohnson for a heartfelt reply. I appreciate your respond on my behalf. I have spoken to several lawyers and no one wants to get involved simply because he has been with them since birth ignoring the fact that it may not be the best thing to do as for his well being. The only thing I feel logically compelled to do is to appear at the hearing and let the judge know what kind of hardship they have created from the lies, broken agreements etc. The thought that she called me a racist, but she is the one who changed his name to satistify her neighbors. I only hope that all goes well and may God be on my side. This women is sick and the judge needs to know that. As for the agency they are aware of these problems and continue to ignore them because if the adoption isn't finalized they don't get thier $20,000. On the other hand I have nothing to lose!