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Child Adopted by Step Father. But Father Found

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shuppe

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?
FLORIDA

My Daughter is 10 yrs old. When she was 5 yrs old, I found out about her existence. When she was 2-3 Yrs old, she was adopted by her step father. The mother was instructed to atleast take out an newspapre ad and try to notify me. I never seen this ad. But that is her story. THat is fine. We didn't really know each other anyway. All we did was spend a long weekend together and went our seperate ways. She got married when my daughter was 2 or 3 yrs old and here we are.

We all get along. Families and all. There are no hostilities from anyone to anyone. This man adopted my child before I knew of her existence.

I have been seeing my daughter like we haven't missed a day from birth. I have missed a lot, but that's not important to me as much as the future. I have had my daughter for summers and most weekends since I met her. We ahve a great relationship and I feel we are doing good.

Her mother and I are entertaining the thought of our daughter coming to live with me for the school years and seeing her mother on the weekend and summers. It is my turn and I can devote more time to her studies.

The problem here is that I DON'T have any Custody/Rights over my child. I can't get her health insurance or give consent to a Life or Death operation.

Is there a way to over turn the adoption, or just simply get me list as a Legal Guardian? I am not too concerned about the name change, unless of coarse they get a divorce. But, I just want to do the right thing and make sure she is taken care of if need to be. If she is going to live with me, I have to hae some sort of Custody.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.
 


brisgirl825

Senior Member
Private Message: Thanks for your reply. Another question pls.
Today, 06:41 PM
shuppe
Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1

Thanks for your reply. Another question pls.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got this off the website.......
does this mean anything?

Is the natural father's consent to the adoption necessary?
Yes, if the identity of the natural father is known. When the identity of the natural father is not known, a formal adoption can be finalized without his consent. However, this could affect whether or not the adoption is truly final, should the father's identity later become discovered. In this situation a court would be called upon to make the decision, especially where the natural father discovers that he is the father and wants to assume parental rights along with the responsibilities.


I posted your PM so that everyone could give advice based on the info that you have found.

In my opinion, the fact that you have known that your daughter was adopted for 5 years and have done nothing about it, will make it highly unlikely to reverse the adoption. You have basically consented to it by doing nothing this whole time. A case like this would take a lot of time and money. If you wish to get more detailed information, talk to a local atty.

My advice is to get a legal guardianship and have a relationship with her. I would suspect that the minute you try to reverse the adoption, mom and dad will likely suspend your visits with her. Are you willing to risk losing a reversal case and then not see her again? She's only got 8 more yrs, then she can make her own choices.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
shuppe said:
Her mother and I are entertaining the thought of our daughter coming to live with me for the school years and seeing her mother on the weekend and summers. It is my turn and I can devote more time to her studies.
Where is this child's LEGAL father in all this? Mom has custody, or they are still married? If Mom is willing to give up custody, is legal Dad not interested in having his child live with him? Is he paying child support? Doesn't he have any say in all this?

Is he aware of these plans (still living with mom) or is all this planning going on behind his back?
 
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shuppe

Junior Member
nextwife said:
Where is this child's LEGAL father in all this? Mom has custody, or they are still married? If Mom is willing to give up custody, is legal Dad not interested in having his child live with him? Is he paying child support? Doesn't he have any say in all this?

Is he aware of these plans (still living with mom) or is all this planning going on behind his back?
*They are still happily married. (Mother and Step Father) Together they have two children of their own now.

*No one is paying Child Support. I do pay for half of school, clothing and all monies spent when she is with me.

Step Father / Adopted Father is aware of all this. There are no secrets. WE all get along great. No hostilities at all. The mother and I are making the decisions for our daughter and I have her full support. I just want to be able to speak on my daughters behalf when she is living with me. There has to be some sort of paperwork done to give me custodial rights since she will be residing with me.

Step Father is willing to sign custody over to me if we can or even need to.
 
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In the military when a child lives with a family member or friend while the parents are deployed then they do what is called a Specific POA for medical and custodial reasons for the child in question. I don't know if the rules are different for a non military family. The mother and adoptive father (I too was adopted by my stepfather) will need to sign over the Specific Power of Attourney to you saying what rights they are granting to you and for how long. A Specific POA is granted for a certain amount of time from a date to a date with specific rights given to the person that the parents state and ONLY exactly what it states. Unlike a general power of attourney which is full rights to do almost anything in a persons name.


I am not a lawyer. I am a Navy wife and am just sharing what I know from personal experience.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Do you and the child's legal parents reside in the same county? Check with the schools and ask what is required to enroll your child in school. If the legal dad is willing to give you custody he should be willing to sign tempoary guardianship papers, this can be don at the local courthouse, also POA for medical and educaiton may also work. Have you confirmed paternity by DNA and established paternity? Something just sounds a little strange about all of this, to have hidden the child for so long and be so willing to share? Somebody must have something rolling around in their head. Maybe getting free child care and her school costs is the reason? You may be able to establish paternity depending on the facts.
 

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