child custody

[Omayra]

What is the name of your state? NJ

My boyfriend and the mother of the children gave up parental rights. They now would like to regain child custody, however the children have been adopted. The mother is a ble to see the children and the children want to be with the mother and see their father but the adopted mother would not allow my boyfriend to see the children. The mother is able to see the children and that has been very difficult for her she is only allowed when the adopted mother allows it and most of the time she has to give money to the adopted mother in oder to be allowed to see the kids.

If the children want to be with the biological parents isn't there something that can be done? Possible visitation rights?

[Blue Meanie]

No, they have no standing to seek visitation. Zero. Nada.

[Silverplum]

Further, it is unconscionable, IMO, on the part of the former (birth) parents to MESS WITH the lives/hearts/heads of these children!!

[nextwife]

If the child's legal parent(s) WISH to treat this as an open adoption, those parents have that right. They have no legal obligation to do an open adoption, allowing biofamily contact. Thus, if biodad wishes contact, he needs to very nicely communicate with legal parent(s) and request it. It is still the child's parent(s) right to make that decision for THEIR child.

[Omayra]

Thank you for the advice. We wish to send the adopted mother a letter to request to meet with her to discuss the possibility to see the children and come to a reasonable agreement, keeping in mind the childrens best interest at heart. We know that they have been through a lot. The adopted mother has cared for the children this few years and has been there for them in good and bad times and we thank her for her care and support.

We bellive she will allow us to see the children but will take some time and meetings with her to make sure that rules are set and we commit.

thank you

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Omayra

Thank you for the advice. We wish to send the adopted mother a letter to request to meet with her to discuss the possibility to see the children and come to a reasonable agreement, keeping in mind the childrens best interest at heart. We know that they have been through a lot. The adopted mother has cared for the children this few years and has been there for them in good and bad times and we thank her for her care and support.

We bellive she will allow us to see the children but will take some time and meetings with her to make sure that rules are set and we commit.

thank you

Y'all may be wise to adjust your terminology a tad. She is not "the adopted mother". She is the Mother of those children.

[>Charlotte<]

Originally Posted by Omayra

we thank her for her care and support.

Thank her for what? Taking care of her own child? Your boyfriend owes her no thanks. It is not his child.

[Omayra]

You are right she is the mother but no one can change the fact that the kids have biological parents that encountered a very difficult time. who are we to judge. They made the best decision at that time and that was to give the kids for adoption, the bad thing was they should have requested an open adoption but with lack of understanding of the system and education they did not know it was going to come to this. They care for the kids.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Omayra

You are right she is the mother but no one can change the fact that the kids have biological parents that encountered a very difficult time. who are we to judge. They made the best decision at that time and that was to give the kids for adoption, the bad thing was they should have requested an open adoption but with lack of understanding of the system and education they did not know it was going to come to this. They care for the kids.

That's all well and good. But they had no rights to the children at all, beyond what the parents are willing to give them. And it is unconscionable that either of them (or you) should even consider letting the children think that they will be able to live with the bp's. If I were the parents, I'd cut all of you off completely at this point.

[VeronicaLodge]

I agree with Stealth and if they really do care for the children and not just their own selfish wants, and want whats best for the children, they will leave them be with their legal parents and wait for the children to contact them when they turn 18.