Child name change question

[Clarkstyle]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?New York.

My childs mother and I were not married when our child was born. Our child was given my last name.

Now, 5 years later (we are not together any longer obviously) she wants to change my childs last name to match her own (maiden name-she has not married yet).

I have not ever been behind on child support, I was in the military and stationed quite far from our hometown-therefore did not see my son for aprox. 18 months. I have been having visitation every weekend with him for the last 2 months.

She obtained a lawyer and has filed with the supreme court to have his name legally changed on the basis that I have not seen my son (she filed before my visitation started)

What are the chances that my son will have to change his name (against my will) and what can/should I do to stop this from happening?

Any help will be very much appreciated.

Mike

[seniorjudge]

Q: What are the chances that my son will have to change his name (against my will)?

A: About 50-50.



Q: and what can/should I do to stop this from happening?

A: Get a lawyer and file an objection immediately or yesterday, whichever happens first.

[Clarkstyle]

I had my first appearance in court this morning. I told the judge that I object to the application.

I guess I don't understand what her grounds would be. If I'm in my childs life what does she even have to go on?

Another thing...why do I need a lawyer? What could a lawyer do for me that I can't do for myself? (I'm not trying to be rude or anything; I just don't know why I should waste my money on something that (I feel) should be an open and closed case)

Thanks again,
Mike

[brisgirl825]

A lawyer is always best to have in court. They know the statutes and case law.

However, I would suggest a hyphenate name as a compromise. Your family name is no more important than mom's and it is a fair solution for everyone.

[justalayman]

Note:Not a legal opinion

Actually why would you object to the name change. It would make things somewhat simpler for your son to have the same last name as his mother.
Like it was so poetically stated " a rose by any other name**************.."

Parents in this type of situation often disregard the true benefit or harm to their child by fighting about inconsequential situations. Unless there is great benefit to the child having your last name (like you are a Hilton or a Gates)
let the child have the comfort and privacy that having the mothers last name would provide.

[sologig]

Another non-legal viewpoint:

It is actually difficult for single moms whose kids have a different last name. Whether the moms were married to the dad or not, after a divorce and maiden name or remarriage changes the name, it does make life HE** for the mom. Ultimately, the mom should have left her name for the child from birth. If you don't believe me, find a mom with three or more different last names for three or more children.

It might seem hateful that she would change now but she might be trying to reduce society's stigma on kids who don't live with both parents by keeping one last name for the entire household. So see a pyschologist as a family just once to see if that is what the mom here is trying to do. It might work out better for your son in the long run. It might not be an insult to you just trying to do best for your child.

Best wishes!