complicated adoption/paternity situation

[bmwsbabe23]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

I will try and tell our situation in as short a way as I can, as well as I can because alot of this is just what I have been told then I will ask my questions.
My husband and I were split up for about 3 years several years ago and during this time he was sleeping with another woman. The girl had a baby after words and did not list my husband as the father or give the baby his last name. Right after the baby was born my husband was ran off by the girls family because they claimed to him that the baby was someone elses. My husband and I have since got back together and are doing well with 3 children we have together. About a month ago we get a phone call from the girl he had dated during our seperation and she tells us that her dad and step mom are trying to adopt the little girl and she doesn't want them to she wants us to try and get custody with her. (We had not heard from this girl in the last 6 years since the birth of the child) Well my husband says IF the baby really is his he will step up and do what ever he needs to do. He agrees to take a DNA test and anything else that needs to be done. The babies grandparents refuse to let the baby be swabbed for the DNA test without a court order, so the mother of the baby goes and puts in a petition to the court with her, my husband, and her dad and step mom listed on it and gets a court date set. We don't know exactly what the court date is for, but the mother led us to beleive that her lawyer was going to be repersenting us also. Well yesterday we get a phone call from the lawyer repersenting her dad and step mother telling us that we need to call him because he has some questions to ask us and depending on what we want to do he has some papers he has to serve us.
We don't have a lawyer like we thought we did, and are not sure if we can just run out and get one, so I was looking her for some advice until I can talk to a lawyer.
First I would like to know if it is even legal for the lawyer to call us? Is he only doing that because we do not have a lawyer for him to communicate with or is he trying to trick us into saying something against ourselves?
Also he has said my husband was listed as the punitive father in the case, and I was wanting to know if that is going to hurt him because he did not have anything to do with the child because the family claimed the baby was someone elses?
Also I want to add that I am pretty sure that the mother lost custody because a judge ordered it. We have discussed the possibility of us getting custody and bringing another child into our home and I am fine with it if it will get her our of an unsuitable enviroment, but assuming that we are just being told that her home life is bad with the grandparents, if things really are fine what are our chances of getting custody from them if she has been living with them for the last 2 or 3 years?
Then one last question is that the grandmother of the baby has asked us to just not show up at court so it would be dropped and she also said that she had ran a legal ad in the paper giving the father an opportunity to step up, I am pretty sure the Alabama law says this must be ran in the county of the last known residence of the father so if she did not do this in the county my husband lives in and have lived in for the last 12 years will that make it irrelivant?

Any help at all I can get on this would be great. Also I will supply any more information that anyone thinks may help them tell me something of importance.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[TheGeekess]

Grandparents do not have any rights in Alabama, so as far as the GRANDPARENTS refusing to allow a DNA test, that's bull.

Hire a lawyer. When someone else has one, they can't work for you. And realize, that this is really your husband's problem to deal with, not yours. You can help him, you can support him, but in the end (and in the courtroom) it is his problem.

Here are the Alabama statutes relating to adoption:
http://www.legislature.state.al.us/CodeofAlabama/1975/127509.htm
http://www.legislature.state.al.us/CodeofAlabama/1975/127565.htm

[bmwsbabe23]

Thank you. I don't think I clarified that right now the grandparents have custody of the child and are trying to adopt her. That is why the mother all of the sudden called us. She claims the grandparents are not fit to take care of the child. IF all she says is true then they are not, but I dont really think she is either that is why we thought it best to go ahead and just try and get custody ourselves if the little girl is my husbands. I was pretty sure that I would not matter much in the case, but I am researching like crazy because I have more time to do so then he does. I did speak to a lawyer today, and think we maybe screwed anyway because my husband knew the little girl could be his but has not done anything for 6 years. I guess now all we have to do is see how serious mom is about doing what she has to to get the kid out of that house because I don't have the $1000 up front the lawyer ask for to take the case!!!!! Again thanks you for a response
BMW