confused and a needed answer

[preppyboy17]

What is the name of your state? Florida
Heres the thing its not really adoption but this is the closet topic i could find in the same state of questioning. i am 17 years old and i want to move out of my moms house and move in with my dad, i am 17 and about to be 18 in less than 3 months and i also have graduated from high school and i have a high school diploma, i already have a job with my dad, he owns his own company so im in good hands, im just really wanting to know if it is possible i can move out now with out her permission...if you have any answers i would greatly appreciate it my email is [email]lilpreppyboy17@yahoo.com...than[/email]x

[stealth2]

If your Mom has custody of you and she doesn't agree, then no, you can't.

[preppyboy17]

I graduated from high school...doesnt that mean i can make my own decision. yes she has custody, but my dad is also a legal guardian over me. How could she say no? she cant take me to court because the Judge will just laugh at her considering im gonna be 18 in less than 3 months? Explain in better detail if you would please. Thank You

[TatumEstes]

My ex-husband and I have joint custody over our daughter, but I'm her "primary custodian," which means she mainly lives with me and I have the majority of control. Most states automatically put the mother in charge, unless there's a history of violence or drug use or she doesn't want to be. You can pack your things and go to your dad's, but she can have you picked up as a runaway. If you dad allows you to stay there without letting her know, then he can be arrested for kidnapping or for harboring a runaway. I don't think you want to put him in that position.

Have you asked your mom if you can live with your dad? Considering that its summertime, you don't have school to worry about, and you'll be 18 when school starts again...it would be pretty controlling for her not to let you. If she let's you work for him, then she probably doesn't think he's a threat, so she might let you go.

[preppyboy17]

Well she cant have me listed as a runaway, because of the fact she let me visit my sister, and i did and from there i went to my dads, so therefore i didnt runaway. I havent confronted my mom yet on the situation, because i want to know if its possible i can leave with out her having an input. But as recently stated above on previous questions and answers im a graduate with a high school diploma, how can she still have control of me and the decisions i make? Appreciate the help and Thanks

[TatumEstes]

You can graduate at 16, but you're not mature enough (in the state's eyes) to make all your own decisions.

If you do not come home when you should, whether its immediately after work, 10pm, midnight, 2am, whatever your curfew is, and you don't have permission to be where you are, your mom can have you picked up as a runaway.

When I was 16, I got into an argument with my step-dad. I was trying to call my dad and he kept yelling at me. I went outside in my PJs with the phone to get some peace and quiet. I talked to my dad for a few minutes, then hung up. My step dad had locked the front door. It was about 50 outside and I was wearing cotton pants and a t-shirt, no shoes, anything. I banged on the door, but neither he nor my mom would unlock it. So I went walked 3 blocks to the gas station and called my best friend, who lived a few miles away. Her dad picked me up with the intention of calling the police. When we got to her house, the cops were waiting and told her dad that my mom said I was a pathological liar and a runaway.

Until you're 18 (including the day before) you have NO RIGHTS as an adult. You have basic human rights and that's about it. Sorry. I was 17 not too long ago, I know how it feels.

I suggest you just ask her. Approach the subject lightly and kind of laugh it off. "Mom, would you mind if I stayed with Dad for the summer?" Make sure you approach the subject when you guys are getting along, not when you're fighting.

Good luck.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by preppyboy17

Well she cant have me listed as a runaway, because of the fact she let me visit my sister, and i did and from there i went to my dads, so therefore i didnt runaway.

Yes, she can. Because she didn't give you permission to go live with your Dad. Apparently she legally has custody of you, so she is well within her rights to report you as a rnuaway and your Dad for harboring you. Whether or not the cops do anything is another matter, and one noone can predict w/o a crystal ball.

As for you having your diploma - that does NOT make you an adult. It simply makes you a HS graduate. The LAW says you're an adult and can make your own decisions when you're 18. Period. That should be pretty easy to understand.

[preppyboy17]

What happened to being able to make your decision of where you want to live when your 16? How do you emancipate yourself?....it is possible. I have the right to leave due to the fact that my step dad smokes pot....right? isnt that considered influencial? Greatly appreciate your help and advice...i want to learn more on this so keep the responses coming please, Thanks

[stealth2]

LOL YOu want to get emancipated? You'll need to prove to a judge that you can fully support yourself - rent, utilities, food, clothes, transportation, insurance (auto & medical), entertainment, etc. EVERYthing paid for by you. And without a roommate or state aid. And your parents' consent. That's IF your state allows emancipation.

The law says that you are a child until you hit 18.

And the only thing stepDad smoking weed does for you is possibly warrant an investigation by CPS. It doesn't give you a pass to do what you want.

Sorry.

[preppyboy17]

No...thats not what emancipation means down here...because my sister got emancipated at 13...and i have a job i can support myself, and it doesnt mean im gonna go live alone...i'll be living with my dad. I dont know how it is up there but thats not how it is down here sorry, but thanks for the consideration.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by preppyboy17

No...thats not what emancipation means down here...because my sister got emancipated at 13...and i have a job i can support myself, and it doesnt mean im gonna go live alone...i'll be living with my dad. I dont know how it is up there but thats not how it is down here sorry, but thanks for the consideration.

Somehow - I doubt it.

Start educating yourself, son. [url]http://www.bostoncoop.net/lcd/emancipation/florida.html[/url]

[preppyboy17]

As much as i appreciate the domestic relations page..i know that my sister moved in with my mom at 13..not saying your wrong, but i know what i know, so please dont tell someone to start educating themselves if you have no clue on what happened...i respect your advice and research i really do. Thanks, you've been more than great help.

[stealth2]

That is NOT emancipation. That is a change in custody. You have no clue what you're talking about. If you don't believe me, go to google and start educating yourself on the realities of how it all works. Because you haven't got a clue from what you've posted. I'm sorry, but you simply haven't.

I'll leave further responses to anyone else who may be inclined to try to help you.

[preppyboy17]

This isnt about me knowing what im talking about, or if im right or wrong...i was curious, never said you were wrong...and if you do have a problem with how i may respond to things they you sould have excluded yourself from my question, i said i was confused and needed help, and i took all advice into consideration, even yours, i told you thanks, my intention wasnt to come off as a jerk or anything ...and if thats how you feel i acted towards you, then please accept my apology...so sorry Senior Member and you have a blessed day and a happy holiday.

[TatumEstes]

Even though you may not have intended to come off as a jerk, you did. Stealth12 is offering you all his knowledge as a professional and I'm sure he knows a LOT more about the subject than you do. As for your situation....

Most states (if any) will not allow a full emancipation at 13. I researched it as a child. Stealth is correct in saying that you have to be able to fully support yourself on your own. And by moving in with your dad, you will not be fully supporting yourself, even if you're capable. I may be wrong, but I don't think you have to have your parents' permission in all cases, but you have to prove that they are unable to take care of you or unable to make a rash decision if you go that route. By the time you go through the whole process, though, you'll be 18, so it won't be wise to take the court's time to file for emancipation.

At this point, I think you only have 2 options:

(1) Have your dad petition the court for a change in custody. This also takes a lot of time. If you think your mom won't let you go, she will put up a fight and drag it out intentionally until you turn 18. If my son/daughter did this 3 months before they turned 18, I would do that just to spite them. And coming from the court's point of view, they probably won't even hear the case because you've only got 3 months left.

(2) ASK YOUR MOM. Like I said before, if she's letting you work for him, then she doesn't think that lowly of him. You might be surprised at her response. And if you really don't want to ask her, then do the whole "I had a hard day at work, can I just stay at Dad's tonite?" thing.

My mom and I did not get along from the time that my parents split (almost 10) until my daughter was born (19). And when I say we didn't get along, I mean not talking for days, sometimes weeks...constant fights, verbal and physical...doing things just to piss the other one off. It was bad. I ran away 3 times, she kicked me out twice. And the final time she kicked me out was on my 17th bday. I got CPS involved, but when they called her, she said "she's welcome to come home anytime she wants, she chose to leave." Even though she changed the locks on the doors and dropped my clothes off at my best friend's house.

Look, your options are thin at this point because you have SO LITTLE time left. At least your mom lets you work and get out of the house, I wasn't allowed to do any of that. If you're not willing to ask her, you're just going to suck it up and deal with it. If you don't like her, stay in your room and listen to music or read when you have to be home. It sucks, believe me, I know.

I'm sorry I don't have the answer you're looking for, but I think you're SOL. Considering that you posted this 5 days ago and no one has given you a different answer, I don't think there is one. Sorry and good luck. When you're 40, you'll look back and say "I can't believe I was freaking out about 3 months!"