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confused newbie-please help!

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hopefulmommie

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma
Hubby and I have decided to adopt my (1st) cousin's baby. She and birth father are both totally in agreement and involved, willing to help us throught her pregnancy (she's due May 2006).
They previously adopted out a child about a year ago, with no regrets-all went smoothly, so we're told. Sounds great,huh? Well, we're not so sure.
Here's the scenerio:
Hubby and I are unable to have children. Adopting our 1st child is a very new experience for us. We are naive and just starting to research adoption.
My cousin has said she wants to sign the birth certificate in my + hubby's name. I disagree, initially because that child has a right to know who his/her birth parents are. And I wasn't so sure that was even legal?!
Birth parents both said that it is totally legal with witnesses, as well as
signing over their Termination of Parental Rights there in the hospital as well.
And "...in 6 months after signing, adoption will be finalized and boom! you have a baby!"(her words, not mine)...how much of this is true/legal?
This is exactly what was done with the previous adoption that took place a yr ago. (is that an illegal adoption?)
We plan on getting a lawyer, but not even sure if we should just use an Adoption Lawyer,Adoption Agency, or any ol' law firm? Please help...we are so excited, yet so very confused and birth parents don't seem to be helping with "their" info! Thanks so much!
 


nextwife

Senior Member
Get an attorney and do a legal adoption. Do NOT allow ffraudulant bioparent names to be placed on the original birth certificate. An adoption is NO place to skimp on the legalities. Do this absolutely RIGHT and do everything through an experienced adoption attorney. This is your future child- their security in the future DEPENDS upon you doing this right in the first place.

Absolutely, positively do NOT have your own names put on the original birth certificate!

Have you had a home study started?
http://www.adoptionsolutions.com/general/state laws/ok_law.htm
Oklahoma Adoption Statute Summary

Oklahoma Statutes Annotated Title 10 Sections 57 to 60.23 (1997)

Who Can Adopt?
Any unmarried person who is at least 21 year of age, or a husband and wife jointly may adopt. A married person may adopt without the other spouse if they
are legally separated, if one spouse is a stepparent, or if the child is born out of wedlock (in which case its unmarried mother or father may adopt).

Who Can Be Adopted?
Any person can be adopted.

Consent to Adoption
Written consent must be given by the following persons:
1. both natural parents;
2. both parents, if 16 years of age or older, of a child born out of wedlock. If the mother or father is younger than 16, her consent is sufficient if accompanied by the written consent of her legal guardian, or, if she has no legal guardian, then the consent of her own parents;
3. the legal guardian or guardian ad litem of the adoptee;
4. the child-placing agency, if they have custody of the child, or anyone else having legal custody of the adoptee by court order; and
5. the adoptee, if 12 years of age or older.
Consent is not required of the following:
1. a putative father who fails to prove he is the father,
2. a father or putative father who fails to show he has exercised his parental rights and duties of a child placed for adoption within 90 days of birth,
3. a parent or putative father who waives his or her right to notice,
4. a parent who willfully fails to communicate and maintain a significant relationship with the child for 12 of the preceding 14 months,
5. a parent who for 12 of the past 14 months has willfully failed or refused to contribute to the child's support
6. a parent convicted of physically or sexually having abused the minor or a sibling in a manner shocking to the court or having caused severe harm or injury to the child or having caused the death of a sibling due to this abuse or chronic neglect,
7. a parent has been sentenced to imprisonment for at least 10 years and it is determined that this will impede his or her ability to maintain a meaningful relationship, taking into consideration a number of listed factors,
8. a parent whose parental rights have been terminated, and
9. a parent who has a mental illness which renders parent incapable of adequately and appropriately exercising parental duties and responsibilities and continuation of parental rights would result in harm or threatened harm to the child; and the mental illness is such that it will not respond to treatment or medication and will not substantially improve.
Putative Father Registry
A father or putative father may file notice with the paternity registry of his desire to be notified of any adoption proceeding.

Confidentiality
All adoption hearings shall be confidential and held in closed court. All records are withheld from inspection except upon a court order. The Department of Human Services, any certified adoption agency, or any licensed child-placing agency may release the child's, biological parents', and grandparents' medical information to the adoptive parents or the child if over 18. No person in charge of adoption records can disclose the names of the biological parents unless
ordered by the court.

Permissible Fees
A written report shall be attached to the petition for adoption or filed with the court which discloses all costs, or monies expended by the adoptive family in connection with the adoption. This includes the cost of the adoption agency fees, home study fees, physician fees, attorney fees, living expenses and medical costs paid for the birth mother and child.

Place of Adoption Hearing
The adoption hearing must take place in the court in the county where the adoptive parents or child to be adopted lives.

Authority To Place Child
Any person, authority, or agency legally empowered to place children for adoption is authorized to place the child.

Relative Adoption
The home investigation and 6-month waiting period (between issuing of the interlocutory and final decrees) may be waived in the case of stepparent and relative adoption.

Advertisements
It is a crime to advertise to place a child for adoption as an inducement to any woman to enter an institution or home or other place for maternity care or for the delivery of a child.

Re-printed with permission from the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.
 
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hopefulmommie

Junior Member
Thank you, thank you, thank you, nextwife!
You've proved our skeptism!
We have an appointment (consultation) scheduled tomorrow morn!

Neither hubby nor I want ANYTHING to be illegal, or untrue.
(we've already decided "adoption" is NOT going to be a foreign term in our household)

Thanks again-I cannot stress how much we appreciate your input and will absolutely take your advise!
Sincerely,
hopefulmomie (+daddie)
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Good luck

OT: there are some great very basis kids books that I have been reading to my kiddo since before she was preverbal, that help make their adoption a matter-of-fact issue. My child has ALWAYS known and been totally comfortable knowing how we became a family. Jamie Lee Curtis board book "Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born" is a good one, as is "Are You my Mother?" and A Mother For Choco".
 

hopefulmommie

Junior Member
Thanks so much for the references (you've been so helpful!)
I guess we're on the right track...already purchased, "Are You My Mother" children's book:) Will locate/purchase the others as well.
Thanks again!
 

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