Could I take my birth father's wife to court?

[search4birthdad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I am a 27 years old adoptee who has searched for my birth father. I was adopted by by step father in 1996-my birth father terminated his rights at that point. I finally located him (in Texas) found his wife's email, social site page (facebook), address and phone number. I tried on several occasions to contact her and him via certified restricted mail, phone, and email. My theory (which is just that theory) for the unclaimed certified mail was that my Birth Father's wife did not notify her husband. I tried emailing her on different occasions - I was told once it wasn't her and blocked me from Facebook.
I am not a secret to her - she was around when I was born and obviously when I was adopted.

I am trying communicate for medical reasons - I registered with the NYS Adoption Reg - and they were unable to tell me a time frame if and when I could receive information. It is upon information and belief that he was willing to contact me - but was ashamed - now that I'm trying to start communication, his wife is not cooperating.

The medical records are not in dire need - more like "just in case". My mother has no knowledge of his medical history.

Does this seem like a valid case? Could I take my birth father's wife to court?

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I am a 27 years old adoptee who has searched for my birth father. I was adopted by by step father in 1996-my birth father terminated his rights at that point. I finally located him (in Texas) found his wife's email, social site page (facebook), address and phone number. I tried on several occasions to contact her and him via certified restricted mail, phone, and email. My theory (which is just that theory) for the unclaimed certified mail was that my Birth Father's wife did not notify her husband. I tried emailing her on different occasions - I was told once it wasn't her and blocked me from Facebook.
I am not a secret to her - she was around when I was born and obviously when I was adopted.

I am trying communicate for medical reasons - I registered with the NYS Adoption Reg - and they were unable to tell me a time frame if and when I could receive information. It is upon information and belief that he was willing to contact me - but was ashamed - now that I'm trying to start communication, his wife is not cooperating.

The medical records are not in dire need - more like "just in case". My mother has no knowledge of his medical history.

Does this seem like a valid case? Could I take my birth father's wife to court?

To attain what? (his wife, btw, is under no obligation to tell you anything unless she's ordered to do so. Remember, your biological father is now a legal stranger)

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

To attain what? (his wife, btw, is under no obligation to tell you anything unless she's ordered to do so. Remember, your biological father is now a legal stranger)

I understand he is a legal stranger. I'm trying just obtain at the very least medical history that the NYS Adoption Registry can not provide for me.

[momofrose]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I am a 27 years old adoptee who has searched for my birth father. I was adopted by by step father in 1996-my birth father terminated his rights at that point. I finally located him (in Texas) found his wife's email, social site page (facebook), address and phone number. I tried on several occasions to contact her and him via certified restricted mail, phone, and email. My theory (which is just that theory) for the unclaimed certified mail was that my Birth Father's wife did not notify her husband. I tried emailing her on different occasions - I was told once it wasn't her and blocked me from Facebook.
I am not a secret to her - she was around when I was born and obviously when I was adopted.

I am trying communicate for medical reasons - I registered with the NYS Adoption Reg - and they were unable to tell me a time frame if and when I could receive information. It is upon information and belief that he was willing to contact me - but was ashamed - now that I'm trying to start communication, his wife is not cooperating.

The medical records are not in dire need - more like "just in case". My mother has no knowledge of his medical history.

Does this seem like a valid case? Could I take my birth father's wife to court?

What would you take her to court for?

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by momofrose

What would you take her to court for?

interfering? possibly - I'm not a legal professional I'm just asking an opinion. I'm just looking to ask him medical history. She lied and hung up when I spoke she did not even let me speak to him directly.

Like I mentioned before - it's believed that he has wanted to make contact with me but has been ashamed to do so after all this time. I found this via a family friend whom does not want to get involved with the matter.

[momofrose]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

interfering? possibly - I'm not a legal professional I'm just asking an opinion. I'm just looking to ask him medical history. She lied and hung up when I spoke to her not letting me speak to my father directly. Like I mentioned before - it's believed that he has wanted to make contact with me but has been ashamed to do so after all this time. I found this via a family friend whom does not want to get involved with the matter.

She doesn't have to let you speak to him (and sorry but he is not your father) - he is now a legal stranger and owes you nothing including information.

Since this is a JUST IN CASE scenario and not a do or die - I am not sure why you are pressing this issue with the wife - she can get a restraining order against you if you continue to call her after she has expressed her wishes that you do not contact her.

i would leave it alone - clearly if he wants to get in touch with you - he will know how to - sorry but that's the long and short of it.

[Wirelessany1]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

interfering? possibly - I'm not a legal professional I'm just asking an opinion. I'm just looking to ask him medical history. She lied and hung up when I spoke she did not even let me speak to him directly.

Like I mentioned before - it's believed that he has wanted to make contact with me but has been ashamed to do so after all this time. I found this via a family friend whom does not want to get involved with the matter.

Sorry search, but I don't see that you have any legal recourse here. If you really want to contact your birth father. My only suggestion is that you show up at his house and wait for him to arrive. If you want it that bad, you'll have to personally make it happen.

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

I understand he is a legal stranger. I'm trying just obtain at the very least medical history that the NYS Adoption Registry can not provide for me.

Ideally your mother would have obtained your biological father's medical history before the step-parent adoption.

The law does protect the privacy of birth parents to quite a large degree.

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by momofrose

She doesn't have to let you speak to him (and sorry but he is not your father) - he is now a legal stranger and owes you nothing including information.

Since this is a JUST IN CASE scenario and not a do or die - I am not sure why you are pressing this issue with the wife - she can get a restraining order against you if you continue to call her after she has expressed her wishes that you do not contact her.

i would leave it alone - clearly if he wants to get in touch with you - he will know how to - sorry but that's the long and short of it.

no, I'm sorry- he is my biological father. And she has not expressed any issue other than telling me I contacted the wrong person and hanging up when I asked for him directly.

Why am I pressing the issue? Speak to any other adoptee and they will give you a lengthy list why to "press" the issue. But I thank you anyway for your response.

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Ideally your mother would have obtained your biological father's medical history before the step-parent adoption.

The law does protect the privacy of birth parents to quite a large degree.

I should have specified - The NYS Adoption Registry could provide identifying and non-identifying information but it can take up to years.

[momofrose]

Originally Posted by search4birthdad

no, I'm sorry- he is my biological father. And she has not expressed any issue other than telling me I contacted the wrong person and hanging up when I asked for him directly.

Why am I pressing the issue? Speak to any other adoptee and they will give you a lengthy list why to "press" the issue. But I thank you anyway for your response.

Look it is not that I am not sympathetic - I am - I adopted a baby boy 3 1/2 years ago and pray that the birth mom sticks around if he ever wants to get in touch with her - but this is a LEGAL forum and LEGALLY he is NOT your father and has no responsibility to you.

If he wants to be found - he will allow himself to be found - it does not appears he wants to at this point. Sorry - no legal recourse here at all.

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Ideally your mother would have obtained your biological father's medical history before the step-parent adoption.

The law does protect the privacy of birth parents to quite a large degree.

I know she would have - My I did when my husband adopted my daughter - She's a bit absent minded - didn't think I'd need it or wanted it. When it came to my birth father - her story changes ....

Which is why I'm trying to do it on my own.

[ErynSMA]

As you have been told umpteen times, your birth father and his wife have no obligation to you. You have no case whatsoever. I suggest you attain a therapist to cope with this if you are having a hard time with that legal truth.

And yes, as others said, you have no right to your biological father's medical history. If you're that interested in finding out what you're medically susceptible to, I'd suggest applying for the harvard genome project.

[search4birthdad]

Originally Posted by ErynSMA

As you have been told umpteen times, your birth father and his wife have no obligation to you. You have no case whatsoever. I suggest you attain a therapist to cope with this if you are having a hard time with that legal truth.

And yes, as others said, you have no right to your biological father's medical history. If you're that interested in finding out what you're medically susceptible to, I'd suggest applying for the harvard genome project.

well thank you ....

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by ErynSMA

As you have been told umpteen times, your birth father and his wife have no obligation to you. You have no case whatsoever. I suggest you attain a therapist to cope with this if you are having a hard time with that legal truth.

And yes, as others said, you have no right to your biological father's medical history. If you're that interested in finding out what you're medically susceptible to, I'd suggest applying for the harvard genome project.

Eryn, I did read somewhere that a judge could unseal the adoption record if it's for medical reasons. Would that apply to a Step parent adoption as well as the usual adoption?