I am aware of some families who have faced the painful decision of "disruption". In these cases, often the older, adoptive child's undisclosed mental health issues created a safety risk for other children already in the home. Unfortunately, caseworkers, in their zeal to make permanant placements, withold materially important facts, and disregard the risk to the safety of the other children.
These families did later go on and adopt again, with more appropriate placements.
This is a good resource of various links, incuding support groups.
[url]http://www.karensadoptionlinks.com/disrupt.html[/url]
Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!