Do biological fathers have right?

[hankb]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Hello I am 32 yrs old and when I was 16yrs old my girlfriend had a baby and was forced to give it up for adoption by her parents. She was 15yrs old and doesn't recall signing anything. Our baby was merely stripped away from our lives. I never consented the adoption nor signed anything. This has really effected my life greatly.Do I have any legal rights as the biological father. Is there any legal help? If there is any similiar cases like this can you please email. Thanks

[stealth2]

Well************** why has it taken you 16 years to look into doing something? What are you hoping to accomplish?

[anabanana]

It's not really legal help you need if you're trying to find your child. You need an adoption search entity, either an agency or a detective or however it's typically done in Texas.

It's a good question, though, about what you want to accomplish. Your child has a life somewhere. You seem sort of angry, but you can't just go and raise hell and be disruptive even though you were denied your rights. That horse is way too far out of the barn. But if you wanted to politely and respectfully make inquiries to see if the child wanted to meet and if the parents were amenable, that would be the way to do it. The child would probably be interested. In some case, they're not, but usually curiosity gets the best of them. You gotta respect the parents, tho. You'll want their support for sure, because it will be tough for everyone, even if it's a happy reunion.

[hankb]

Hey thanks for the advice and your right. Fortunately I was able find out his where abouts about 5 yrs ago. Yes I was able to call and talk to the adoptive father. He was nice enough to send us a letter and some pictures of him. He told me that he felt that the right time for him to know is when he becomes an adult. He told me he would send updates and pictures of him regularly, but it has been 3 years since his last update and after numerous request to him to send updates he finally sent and update this year. Yes I am very appreciative that he is at least doing that. No I am not angry. It's more like saddness because I missed out so much of his little life and to know that he has been calling someone else daddy instead of me is even more difficult for me. I guess all I can do at this point is look at his pictures and hope the day comes soon that he will call me or contact me. It will be the greatest thing that will ever happen in my life. Thanks again for listening.

[stealth2]

Well.... at 16 he's likely not calling anyone Daddy. Not to make light of your situation. At this point, the best thing you can likely do is make sure that there is a way for him to be able to contact you and - if possible - to reassure his parents that your intention is not to replace them.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally Posted by hankb

Hey thanks for the advice and your right. Fortunately I was able find out his where abouts about 5 yrs ago. Yes I was able to call and talk to the adoptive father. He was nice enough to send us a letter and some pictures of him. He told me that he felt that the right time for him to know is when he becomes an adult. He told me he would send updates and pictures of him regularly, but it has been 3 years since his last update and after numerous request to him to send updates he finally sent and update this year. Yes I am very appreciative that he is at least doing that. No I am not angry. It's more like saddness because I missed out so much of his little life and to know that he has been calling someone else daddy instead of me is even more difficult for me. I guess all I can do at this point is look at his pictures and hope the day comes soon that he will call me or contact me. It will be the greatest thing that will ever happen in my life. Thanks again for listening.

My response:

Not that it would buy you any rights, but did you ever send the boy's parents any money to help with "your" biological son? If you feel this guilty, or responsible, or whatever the hell you're "feeling", a few bucks being sent usually cures some of the ills.

Maybe the kid has aspirations for college - - make a promise to buy the kid's books for the first year, or longer. Or, send a gift certificate for a new set of school clothes. How about a new car for college? How about just paying the kid's insurance? How about a box of chocolates? Do something, instead of feeling sorry for yourself!

IAAL

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

My response:

Not that it would buy you any rights, but did you ever send the boy's parents any money to help with "your" biological son? If you feel this guilty, or responsible, or whatever the hell you're "feeling", a few bucks being sent usually cures some of the ills.

Maybe the kid has aspirations for college - - make a promise to buy the kid's books for the first year, or longer. Or, send a gift certificate for a new set of school clothes. How about a new car for college? How about just paying the kid's insurance? How about a box of chocolates? Do something, instead of feeling sorry for yourself!

IAAL

Honestly, IAAL, I would be VERY uncomfortable about the biofamily sending my child (or us) money. I would not accept it.

AS an adoptive parent, what would mean a whole lot more would be a scrapbook about the bioparent(s) family, roots, stories, immigration tales, old world tales, favorite family legends, info on unknown siblings, and a request that I keep it and give it to him when I feel he is "ready". And that the biopparent then respects that I, the parent, really know my child better than they and am in a better position to judge when they should be presented with this part of their life story.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Honestly, IAAL, I would be VERY uncomfortable about the biofamily sending my child (or us) money. I would not accept it.

My response:

That's you, and your choice. But, our writer appears to have a lot of psychological angst, and perhaps this, or some other voluntary act of assistance, might allay some of whatever he's feeling.

"Oh, no! Money! Damn, I better not contact the kid again!"

IAAL

[nextwife]

I suggest therapy.

He needs to work through his feelings, and learn to accept that this child calls another "daddy" (or Pa, or Pop, or whatever), because another IS Dad to this child. His contribution ended at conception, and for the past 16 years every other aspect of being Dad has been met by the person this child knows and accepts as his father. Poster is the biodad, but NOT the FATHER.