Ex got new husband to adopt kids without our consent

[lovchristina]

What is the name of your state? California
State this took place in was Oklahoma

I occasionally check my husband's ex-wife's livejournal to view how his
kid's are doing because she will never respond to inquires from us about
talking to them. I saw that she posted that in November her new husband legally
adopted my stepchildren even though we were never informed. When we saw this my
husband IM her on yahoo messenger to ask her about it because we had never been
contacted and asked if we could have a copy of the paperwork. We never got a
reply however on her livejournal she talked about our IM mocking us and said her
attorney told her to ignore us. My question is whether this is legal. My husband
was never even contacted about this adoption let alone consented to it. We had
been talking about the possibility between him and I since the kids are young
enough to only know the other man as a father but we wanted the option. We
can't even figure out how to get copies of the paperwork for our records She claims we are harassing her though all we did was IM her the 1 time asking for copies of the paperwork. DO we have options on this? How can we get copies of the paperwork without her? This was filed in oklahoma and my husband and I are in california

 

[Ohiogal]

YOU have no options. This is strictly your hubby's job. He can hire an attorney and fight to have the adoption overturned due to lack of service. It will cost money and don't be surprised if mom then pursues child support.

 

[devmazz]

What is the name of your state? California
State this took place in was Oklahoma

I occasionally check my husband's ex-wife's livejournal to view how his
kid's are doing because she will never respond to inquires from us about
talking to them. I saw that she posted that in November her new husband legally
adopted my stepchildren even though we were never informed. When we saw this my
husband IM her on yahoo messenger to ask her about it because we had never been
contacted and asked if we could have a copy of the paperwork. We never got a
reply however on her livejournal she talked about our IM mocking us and said her
attorney told her to ignore us. My question is whether this is legal. My husband
was never even contacted about this adoption let alone consented to it. We had
been talking about the possibility between him and I since the kids are young
enough to only know the other man as a father but we wanted the option. We
can't even figure out how to get copies of the paperwork for our records She claims we are harassing her though all we did was IM her the 1 time asking for copies of the paperwork. DO we have options on this? How can we get copies of the paperwork without her? This was filed in oklahoma and my husband and I are in california

"In all stepparent adoptions, your ex-spouse will need to consent to the adoption because she is the other legally recognized parent of the child. If your former spouse refuses to consent, the adoption will not be allowed unless her parental rights are terminated for some other reason -- abandonment or unfitness, for example." http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/marriage-more/stepparent-adoption-faq.html

How was he legally able to adopt his step-children without the biological father's consent unless the parental rights were terminated?

 

[fairisfair]

"In all stepparent adoptions, your ex-spouse will need to consent to the adoption because she is the other legally recognized parent of the child. If your former spouse refuses to consent, the adoption will not be allowed unless her parental rights are terminated for some other reason -- abandonment or unfitness, for example." http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/marriage-more/stepparent-adoption-faq.html

How was he legally able to adopt his step-children without the biological father's consent unless the parental rights were terminated?

Uh, that is the question the poster was asking.

But nice job on the link!!!

 

[Zigner]

It can be done without contacting the bio-dad - I've done it myself

(Dev - you should have gone to the next page

Stepparent Adoptions FAQ
I had my daughter when I was unmarried, and we haven't heard from her father for several years. I'm now married to another man, and he wants to adopt my daughter. Do I have to find her biological father and get his consent to the adoption before it can take place?

As in any adoption, the adoption cannot take place until the absent parent either gives consent or has his parental rights terminated for some other reason. That being said, there are a few specific ways to proceed with an adoption when one biological parent is out of the picture.

First, it is possible to go forward without a biological parent's consent if you can prove that the absent parent has not exercised any parental rights and convince the court that it's appropriate to legally terminate that parent-child relationship. Most states' laws allow parental rights to be terminated when a parent has willfully failed to support the child or has abandoned the child for a period of time, usually a year. Generally, abandonment means that the absent parent hasn't communicated with the child or supported the child financially.


EDIT:
That doesn't mean it was PROPER for your ex to do in your case - but you will have to contact an attorney, as mentioned previously.

 

[MrsK]

OP- Is he still paying support???? Because if she did manage to get this done & is still collecting support, I believe that is fraud or something like that. If his rights were terminated, then so was his obligation for support.

 

[carofl93]

My thought on this isn't of a legal aspect, but is still something to think about....
Is it possible that she is lying about this to get a rise out of you?

I keep my blogs private for this exact reason. I don't want Public Enemy Number One (aka Hubby's ex and mother of his child that is living with us) to know what is happening in my life.

 

[lovchristina]

I guess it is possible she is lying but she seems awfully ****y about it. I only check her blogs because she refuses to let my husband talk to the children and will not give him any updates on their status. One of our mutual friends had her on his friends list so I started checking because she puts regular updates on the kids there. At least this way we know how they are doing. He hasn't seen the kids since she took them out of state because he couldn't afford to fly but he has called and sent letters. Rarely will she put him through to the kids though. She never got a child support claim on him she went through welfare and the state started charging him. He got behind so I know he is still paying arrears but I don't know if anything new has been added to the balance. Again, my husband and I were thinking this might end up being better for the kids since they know their step father very well and haven't seen my husband since they were 3, 2 &1. We really don't want to start custody battles and such because the kids would end up hurt in the end. We have tried to get the ex to at least agree to tell the kids about my husband if they ask and he has said he is always open if they want to come over of there own free will. I just don't think she will let them know that. Anyways, I have no idea where to start and trying to get the paperwork to find out if this has happened since she won't answer our inquires.