Father signed his rights away in post adoption contract and now wants t seek visits

[Hetherington79]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico ... I have a post signed agreement with my childs father.. He willingly signed his rights away .. I am trying to have a step parent adoption . And becuse he only wanted to get outta paying childsupport he signed his rights to my son away . He has never seen my son or had contact with him in almost 5 yrs .. in Oct of 2011 We went to court and child support was orderd for my son . When he signed the papers I agreed to forgive past and current childsupport . But we never set a date to stop childsupport or forgive theback amount . Childsupport here in New Mexico Informed him that until the adoption is finalized he still has to pay .. And becuse of him haveing to pay childsupport he now wants to seek visitation ... The question I have is can he legaly do this after signing his rights away ?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico ... I have a post signed agreement with my childs father.. He willingly signed his rights away .. I am trying to have a step parent adoption . And becuse he only wanted to get outta paying childsupport he signed his rights to my son away . He has never seen my son or had contact with him in almost 5 yrs .. in Oct of 2011 We went to court and child support was orderd for my son . When he signed the papers I agreed to forgive past and current childsupport . But we never set a date to stop childsupport or forgive theback amount . Childsupport here in New Mexico Informed him that until the adoption is finalized he still has to pay .. And becuse of him haveing to pay childsupport he now wants to seek visitation ... The question I have is can he legaly do this after signing his rights away ?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Unless a judge signed off on it, Dad didn't legally sign his rights away. Any document that you signed is completely invalid without a judge's signature.

He has a right to choose to be Dad until a COURT severs his rights - and that will only happen at the time that someone else adopts the kid.

Of course, if it's as simple as you claim, the answer is easy. Have him pay you the money, you return the money to him. State of NM is happy, Dad is happy and dad wouldn't pursue visitation because he wouldn't be paying CS.

 

[Hetherington79]

Thank you

I contacted the court here in NM to see where they were on our post adoption papers to see if the judge had signed them yet, and they couldn't find our file ..So im going down to the court in the morning to see if the judge has signed off or not ..The clerk I spoke to wasn't sure if the judge had or not since they couldn't find our file .. I tried returning the money to his father but he wouldn't take it so I don't know what else to do but just hang on to it and keep records of them . Becuse child support will not drop it until they get a court order to vacate the order for child support. But thank you for the info was very helpfull..

 

[Proserpina]

I contacted the court here in NM to see where they were on our post adoption papers to see if the judge had signed them yet, and they couldn't find our file ..So im going down to the court in the morning to see if the judge has signed off or not ..The clerk I spoke to wasn't sure if the judge had or not since they couldn't find our file .. I tried returning the money to his father but he wouldn't take it so I don't know what else to do but just hang on to it and keep records of them . Becuse child support will not drop it until they get a court order to vacate the order for child support. But thank you for the info was very helpfull..

Had Dad actually filed for visitation and/or revoked his consent to the adoption?

 

[Hetherington79]

much appreshiated ..

no he just keeps threatening me . So Thats why I am going down to the court in the morning .. I finally had to unplug my phone and shut off my cell becuse he keeps makeing threats and yelling at me .. I told him I had nothing to do with the chlid support being inforced but he is more angry that he has to pay . So I am hopeing that the court has the papers and that they are signed .. I was told that I can at least find out if they are or not .. In New Mexico it is the judge who decides if it is in the best intrests of the child .. It's soley his decision so I am just hopeing he has our file .. Thank you

 

[momofrose]

I contacted the court here in NM to see where they were on our post adoption papers to see if the judge had signed them yet, and they couldn't find our file ..So im going down to the court in the morning to see if the judge has signed off or not ..The clerk I spoke to wasn't sure if the judge had or not since they couldn't find our file .. I tried returning the money to his father but he wouldn't take it so I don't know what else to do but just hang on to it and keep records of them . Becuse child support will not drop it until they get a court order to vacate the order for child support. But thank you for the info was very helpfull..

I am confused...did the adoption take place or not? What are "post adoption" papers?

 

[Hetherington79]

so confused???

well I went to the court this morning to see if the judge had signed the papers and no he has not .. I wont know till tues or wed of next week . but I was imformed by the county attorney for child support who reviewed the agreement papers we both signed and agreed to were not valid without a judge signature and that the section where I agreed to forgive past and current child support was not valid either .. Becuse I guess the attorney for the state said only a judge can release him from the obligation , when and only when my husband adopts my son .. Until then they can enforce the child support order.. I was told what we agreed to do was a post adoption order to be able to have my sons father sign his rights over to be able to continue with the adoption . But it's becomeing a huge mess now ..And The director of the Child Support Division Here in where I live said that we have to have a hearing to have the child support vacated ..But that just becuse I agreed to forgive the past and current child support the county attorney said becuse it is not considerd valid that only a judge can say if we can have it dismissed or not , its not up to me and his father apperantly becuse child support and custody are to seperate issues .. So the judge might only for now allow him to surrender his rights but not be allowed to stop child support becuse he does owe a lot in back child support.. How all of this came about was we were orderd to mediation to set a parenting plan and the woman who was the court ordered mediator already knew from previous conversations with her that I wanted him to surrender his right so my husband could do a step parent adoption since my husband has raised him . And she said she could draw up a open adoption agreement for me and my sons father.. So thats what we did , but now im being told that its not a open adoption agreement only a modified parenting plan ..??? Im so confused at this point ..I am meeting with a step parent adoption attorney on monday with the hopes he can sort all this out .. Becuse I am at a loss here of what to do next .. I filed a motion to agree with my X on the motion he filed yesterday to the court so he can be allowed to surrender his parental rights to our son ..So thats what we are waiting to see if the judge signs off on ..I thought when two parent signed and agreed on a legal matter esspecially one like this the courts would look at it and agree but now I am begining to question the courts and laws concerning this issue ..

 

[ecmst12]

You should not be attempting an adoption without having a lawyer involved.

 

[Hetherington79]

I compleetly agree that I need an Attorney .I am meeting with a Adoption Attorney on monday. I was told when we started this process me and my sons father that we didnt need an attorney . That the woman who did our mediation was a family law attorney and mediatior and was qualified to do our adoption agreement here in New Mexico . But from what the county attorney that represents the Child Support Division for my area has said is that adoption agreement we signed together was not valid .. I was so upset at hearing that . My sons father is so angry over the child support issue . He contacted the govener in our state to complain about child support still takeing money and attaching his income tax return . I agreed to waive all back and current child support but unfotunatly the state has said he has to continue to pay until a judge releases him from his obligation and or the adopotion is finalized .. I feel horriable over this whole situation . My sons father and I did everything cively but now becuse we dont have it finalized becuse a judge has not signed off or agred to . My sons father is furious and not really acting like an adult now . And he had stirred up a hornets nest so to speak as far as the child support is concerned , I have recived several phone calls from case workers and the director of child support here , and they are getting very irritated with him . Mainly becuse we have a court order in affect for him to pay the child support.. So I have no idea if the judge will even agree to any thing beuse all of my X's behavior is being reported to the court and the fact it is the judges decision , Im concerned that his behavior is going to further prolong this process becuse he has upset so many case workers and public officials here in our county. He is compleet agreement to sign his rights away ,now but I was told by the county attorney he can do that but it dosent release him from his financial obligation to our son . Even with me agreeing to forgive all past and current support due .. Simply becuse I was told that just becuse we agree the judge is the one who has the final decision . And child support is takeing him back to court to fight to see that the child support dosent get dissmised.. I was not happy to hear that but I told them if its the law I will do what the law says I have to do .. So that is why I am going to see the adoption attorney. Im tired of not knowing if this adoption agreement we signed is legal.. I have been told parts of it are legal but others are not . So it has me so frustraited. And how in the world can it be a modified parenting plan when the papers say clearly on them that it is a open adoption agreement ? I am at a loss of what to do now other than see the attorney and have him tell me just exactly what is legal and what is not .. And the court has had this agreement for over a month now and it has never made it to the judge so my sons father and I both petitioned the court in a motion to have a judgement done and have it finalized the court told me to check back on tuesday morning to see if the judge did except and signed our agreement or if he rejected it but I still feel that retaining a adoption attorney is the best idea even tho the courts here have told me I do not need to do so.. But with all the grey areas here in this I want to know for sure is what we agreed to legal or not .. They keep telling me it's not valid .. So it has both of us woundering what is going on and why it has taken so long to get a judge to sign the agreement . And I belive the county attorney when he says that the child support cant simply be dismissed . He said that my son's father had 15 days after the judgement was issued and the court order went into effect to respond to the ruleing to state his reasons for objecting to the child support , and he never did ..It has been since oct 14 of 2011 and the agreement we both signed took place months later. So there is the hitch .. I was informend that the judge in district court here had compleet and final say and that there was more than a 50% chance he could reject this agreement if he wanted to do so . I am more concerned becuse if the judge does reject this adoption agreement my son's father will have a compleet emotional break down even if we are in the court room . Since child support sent him the letter and contacted him about this issue he has been a absolutely horriable with everyone , and i have felt the back lash from it . He was told the same thing I was until the adoption takes place he has to pay the child support.. And he is being unreasonable about this issue . I told him that just becuse we agree that dosent mean the judge or child support will . And that even if the judge does allow him to sign his rights away , he dosent have to release him from his financial obligation to our son until the adoption takes place and I was told by another judge in our county that our agreement is Not Valid period .. So if it dosent go the way my X wants I am concerned for myself and my son . Becuse he does have a ver nasty temper and he has a extensive criminal history .. I was advised by the director of child support becuse of what my X has apperantly stated to them that I might want to get a restraining order.. I pray it does not come to this really ..But I am sure that retaining a adoption attorney is in mine and my sons best intrests..