Flip Flopping Paternal Father

[RLWoody]

We are in the process of a Strip/Adopt in the State of California. Before we proceed I asked the paternal father if he would rather sign a consent to adoption instead of going to court. He has not seen the child in over 5 years, made any attempt at visitation, nor paid child support in this time. He does not have any custody or visitation and that is ordered. He never showed to court, as a matter of fact he was in the building at the time sitting in jail. Anyway, He agrees to sign the consent provided I bring it to him. I drive 5 hours, he doesn't sign. Meanwhile, "out of the blue", he sends a card to my child, stating that he agrees to the adoption that he loves my husband and us, and Good luck.
I personally do not know if this is helpful or harmful to our case. Any ideas on this?

Thank you, RLWoody

 

[Ohiogal]

Paternal means father basically so paternal father is redundant.
Anyway, why didn't dad sign? Take the card to court -- you didnt' show your child the card did you?

 

[RLWoody]

He didn't sign because he said he never agreed to it - that is what I mean about the flip flop father. Then the card came saying what it did. I did not show that to my child and I plan to take it to court. What I want to know is if the statement he made in the card is useful to me. Can I hold him to it?

 

[momofrose]

He didn't sign because he said he never agreed to it - that is what I mean about the flip flop father. Then the card came saying what it did. I did not show that to my child and I plan to take it to court. What I want to know is if the statement he made in the card is useful to me. Can I hold him to it?

You can't hold him to a statement in a card - you have to petition the court for his rights to be terminated and then for your husband to adopt him.

 

[RLWoody]

You can't hold him to a statement in a card - you have to petition the court for his rights to be terminated and then for your husband to adopt him.

Thank you - One can dream though! I am going to court. I am processing the paperwork as we speak. I had to do a change of venue 1st. I wanted to get the venue in the county where my lawyer and my child reside. I have waited to use my lawyer for the strip. Unfortunately, he will fight us even though he has been absent for over 5 years.

I am apprehensive. The father has not paid child support, but I have an order in place. I have managed to garnish some arrears. He did not show up for the custody/divorce court dates, nor did he respond. He was sitting in Jail at the time in the same building as the court. The change of venue went very much to our favor. I try never to be overconfident when it comes to the family courts. This man has made no effort to be in my child's life in over 5 years. I am just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation????