Godparents vs Deadbeat Dad

[mgmkitty]

What is the name of your state? California

I have an ill friend from England (she's there now). Her 5 year old daughter was born in California. My husband and I are her Godparents. (I know there are no legal rights for godparents). The father of her daughter is an American Citizen, but is a deadbeat dad. He refuses to pay any child support, he's an admitted drug addict/alcoholic, refuses to work he says because he gets bad headaches, (also, he is in a band and says he wants his time free for touring), he lives with his wife's mother (wife is a stripper), he has a history of hitting his girlfriends, and my friend has a few witnesses of him abusing her, he also has another child whom he refuses to care for. - Basically, he is not stable in any part of his life. Sorry for the ranting.
My friend is trying to come back to the US so her daughter can be raised here. She's afraid that if something were to happen to her - as her illness is not getting better - that her father will get custody of her outright. I told my friend I will fight him in court for custody, as I am better fit. My husband and I both have great jobs, and are financially secure.
My question is, will I be fighting a losing battle? Is there anything my friend can do to make sure that I will get custody? Please help.

 

[hexeliebe]

She's afraid that if something were to happen to her - as her illness is not getting better - that her father will get custody of her outright.

And she is correct, regardless of whether or not she returns.

I told my friend I will fight him in court for custody, as I am better fit.

And that has absolutely nothing to do with the law. You are a legal stranger with no more "RIGHTS" to this child than I do.

My husband and I both have great jobs, and are financially secure.

And unless you are planning on Buying this child, that has nothing to do with legal rights.

My question is, will I be fighting a losing battle?

Yep.

Is there anything my friend can do to make sure that I will get custody?

No. You cannot barter away a child.

 

[mgmkitty]

That's it!? Even if her bio father is a deadbeat, a drug addict and can't even take care of himself!?

 

[hexeliebe]

No, IF the bio father is deemed by the court to be an unfit parent that is not it. But for you there is no chance in hell.

One thing you keep forgetting is that you are a stranger to this child in the eyes of the law. The next step, IF the father is found to be unfit, would be for the court to appoint a legal guardian or award custody to a relative, usually a grandparent, aunt or other blood relative willing to accept the responsibility.

ONLY after all blood relatives have been exhausted and the child is made a ward of the state will you have the same chances of adoption as I or anyone else will have.

 

[mgmkitty]

Thank you for the advice.

 

[hexeliebe]

You're welcome.

I am well-known on this forum for my views on involuntary Termination of Parental Rights. And although my responses may have been heartless to you, when it comes to children, I don't really care how the adults feel.

And just because someone is 'less than honorable' now doesn't mean they won't be a wonderful parent. I wouldn't have given you two-cents for me 10 years ago and neither would a lot of women I knew back then.

But after having two daughters things changed. Maybe in this case they will also.

 

[mgmkitty]

Hang on..IF the court decides that her bio father is an unfit parent, and her blood family does not want to raise her, what if it's stated in her will that she'd like custody to go to me? I know I may be grasping at straws here, but it's so important to her mother that I raise her daughter.

 

[hexeliebe]

what if it's stated in her will that she'd like custody to go to me?

Nice try, but a child is not property and a will can only deal with property rights.

 

[mgmkitty]

Oh, didn't know that. Thank you again. Guess I'll take my chances.

 

[hexeliebe]

Good luck. And sorry for not answering sooner. I'm dealing with an idiot on another thread.