Grandparent adoption - pro se?

[bugsmom18]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

This is a long story but I'll try to stick with details. Two girls (different fathers) are placed with maternal grandparents. Mother's rights are terminated, father's rights are terminated on 3yo and being contested on 1 yo.

These girls were placed in foster homes first before my parents took them in. The adoption is ready to go on the 3 yo and almost ready on 1 yo. However, the state who has been subsidizing my parents w/legal fees & other monies, originally said they would pay for all fees associated with adoption. Now they are saying they will have to pay for their own lawyer.

Since the one is ready to go right now and the other won't be ready for a few more months, my parents are going to tell DHS that they won't go thru with adoption unless they pay for it (they didn't ask for the kids & didn't know them before DHS asked if they would take them in). However, they've had the girls for 1 1/2 yrs and want the adoptions to go thru but they don't have money for lawyer.

Is this situation something that can be handled on their own (pro se)? Once the 1 yo's father's rights are terminated, they will not be contested cases as DHS has been backing my parents since day 1.

If pro se, can be done, where could we find the needed forms?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

This is a long story but I'll try to stick with details. Two girls (different fathers) are placed with maternal grandparents. Mother's rights are terminated, father's rights are terminated on 3yo and being contested on 1 yo.

These girls were placed in foster homes first before my parents took them in. The adoption is ready to go on the 3 yo and almost ready on 1 yo. However, the state who has been subsidizing my parents w/legal fees & other monies, originally said they would pay for all fees associated with adoption. Now they are saying they will have to pay for their own lawyer.

Since the one is ready to go right now and the other won't be ready for a few more months, my parents are going to tell DHS that they won't go thru with adoption unless they pay for it (they didn't ask for the kids & didn't know them before DHS asked if they would take them in). However, they've had the girls for 1 1/2 yrs and want the adoptions to go thru but they don't have money for lawyer.

Is this situation something that can be handled on their own (pro se)? Once the 1 yo's father's rights are terminated, they will not be contested cases as DHS has been backing my parents since day 1.

If pro se, can be done, where could we find the needed forms?

They are going to adopt children only if someone else foots the bill? WHOA! Your parents if they love these kids and want to adopt them need to invest the money for an attorney. or they can contact legal aid. or they can contact the bar association and ask for a referral. There are a dozen different things they can do. Telling DHS they won't adopt them unless DHS pays for the adoption -- I can imagine DHD not backing them after that. Sorry but either your parents love the kids enough to adopt them or they don't. Threatening DHS with not adopting the kids -- I have never heard such a thing.

 

[bugsmom18]

Wait!

They are going to adopt children only if someone else foots the bill? WHOA!

They only agreed to take the youngest for a couple days (week at most) until a suitable foster family could be found. The oldest was already in foster care. 6 months later, the other foster family was starting adoption proceedings when DHS had a concern and asked my parents to then take in 3 yo. They felt they couldn't turn down one great-grandchild when they had the other so they took her in. They were told by DHS when they agreed to take in these children that all costs associated with adoption would be taken care of by them. The mother should have been taken as a child from her mother (my ex SIL, my brother dead-beat dad & has no contact w/our family). My dad is 66 and on SSI and my mom is actually STEP-Great grandma to these girls. They want the girls but feel like they have been lied to by DHS just so the girls were in a home. We have dealt with DHS for so many years and had to watch the heartbreaking times of DHS not stepping up to the plate for young grandkids so they never had a chance w/their stupid parents they were dealt with in life. Now we have 2 great-grandkids in the same situation (and another on the way). IMO it should be mandatory tubes-tied for welfare moms who keep popping out kids and lose them to state.

My parents are not made of money and with the one child a special needs & feeding tube. It was an enormous responsibility my parents decided to take on WITH THE IDEA that DHS was going to help them out with much of the costs especially the adoption which was a big concern with my parents & how they would pay for it.

Now that the adoption needs to be done for the oldest child and the youngest won't be done for another possible 6 months. They want my parents to pay for it - with no explanation other than sorry we don't do that anymore. With the way that DHS is bending over to try to get my parents to keep the girls, etc, they wondered if the adoption money would then be covered by DHS if they said they were concerned about paying for the adoption.

HOWEVER, if it isn't then they will find some way to do the adoption. They wanted to know if they could do it PRO SE.

Any suggestions?

 

[stealth2]

Personally, I don't think adoption should EVER be a do-it-yourself project. There are too many things that could go wrong, even years down the line. If your parents are serious about raising these kids, then they need to find a lawyer who will work with them on payments, etc.