Grandson Custody woes for Mrs NEXTWIFE

[ajj]

What is the name of your state? Alabama
Once upon a time(20 years ago)I married a wonderfful woman and adopted her daughter. Life goes on and at this point our daughter has a baby(my grandson)which the state of Alabama has given us temporary custody. We have had temp. custody for10 months know and have had him since birth. He is know 14 months. To make a long story short, our daughter is not getting herself together and the state wants to permantly place the child with us. The problem is my wife(roomate) and I have been having rocky times for about a year know and are attending marriage couseling. Hate to say it but, not sure if we can salvage our realationship. Moraly to me there is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad but I'm faced with a situation. I have and always will take care of my own but my wife is also a divorce paralegal. My question is this. The state is growing inpatient about our Grandson as I am with our marriage relationship repair. Can my wife get CUSTODY of our Grandson or both of us without me while we are still legaly married and in the event it doesn't work out between us I can support my Grandson on my own moral terms and not her legal terms? The state wants to give us permenant custody of him and not adopt. Not sure what the legality of custody versus adoption and is it the same?

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by ajj

What is the name of your state? Alabama
Once upon a time(20 years ago)I married a wonderfful woman and adopted her daughter. Life goes on and at this point our daughter has a baby(my grandson)which the state of Alabama has given us temporary custody. We have had temp. custody for10 months know and have had him since birth. He is know 14 months. To make a long story short, our daughter is not getting herself together and the state wants to permantly place the child with us. The problem is my wife(roomate) and I have been having rocky times for about a year know and are attending marriage couseling. Hate to say it but, not sure if we can salvage our realationship. Moraly to me there is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad but I'm faced with a situation. I have and always will take care of my own but my wife is also a divorce paralegal. My question is this. The state is growing inpatient about our Grandson as I am with our marriage relationship repair. Can my wife get CUSTODY of our Grandson or both of us without me while we are still legaly married and in the event it doesn't work out between us I can support my Grandson on my own moral terms and not her legal terms? The state wants to give us permenant custody of him and not adopt. Not sure what the legality of custody versus adoption and is it the same?

No, custody is NOT adoption.

Adoption makes you legally the party who is FINANCIALLY responsible to support the child.

It sounds as though the state wants to sever mom's right to have custody and raise the child, and, rather than placing with a foster family, they want to place with the grandparents. The state would theoretically be collecting CS from the parents of the child, if you divorce your wife, you would not be the party legally responsible to support the child. However, if you wife has been working, and now becomes a SAHP to care for this child be advised that she could then use her lack of employment and inability to jump back into the workforce and earn as a reason to be awarded alimony. So, while you may not be legally responsible to support the grandchild if you and wife split, you may get stuck paying her SS if she does stop working and stays home.

[ajj]

Thank you so much.