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  #1  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:20 PM
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Guardianship or Custody of foreign step-daughter?

What is the name of your state? Iowa
My wife of 19 months is a Russian émigré with a 16 y/o daughter (both received green cards 2-15-08). Prior to the marriage, we lived together for three years. I understand I cannot adopt my step-daughter due to the age issue, but believe I should file for guardianship or perhaps custody, in case of any future legal/medical care issues. My wife agrees with, and consents to this desire. Could you point me in the correct direction as to who I need to speak to: an Immigration lawyer familiar with adoption, or a Family or Adoption lawyer? If I am in the wrong forum and should have posted this question in the Immigration Forum, please let me know. The issue is complicated by the fact that this is not a simple case of foreign adoption/custody by American parents, since one foreign parent is present and married to the step-father. Thank you.
  #2  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:24 PM
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Your the stepfather and can NOT get custody/guardianship of this girl. If something were to happen to the mother then the father would have custody.
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~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #3  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:29 PM
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What you can be, is the stepfather.
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  #4  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:54 PM
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First some info I did not give; the father (ex-husband) is back in Russia, and has said he would consent to this (even adoption if that were still possible).

Second; do I understand you correctly that I can never obtain at least guardianship, let alone some form of legal "parenthood" (for lack of a better term and not using the word custody)? This worries me greatly. Thank you for your quick responses.
  #5  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rcu2929 View Post
First some info I did not give; the father (ex-husband) is back in Russia, and has said he would consent to this (even adoption if that were still possible).

Second; do I understand you correctly that I can never obtain at least guardianship, let alone some form of legal "parenthood" (for lack of a better term and not using the word custody)? This worries me greatly. Thank you for your quick responses.
If the father is willing to allow an adoption you should go for that...Consult with a Adoption Lawyer that handles foreign step-parent adoptions.
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #6  
Old 02-26-2008, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
If the father is willing to allow an adoption you should go for that...Consult with a Adoption Lawyer that handles foreign step-parent adoptions.
I agree with Bay. We would always advise an attorney for a stepparent adoption, but especially in these circumstances.

Just curious: why do you feel the need to do the adoption, instead of being her stepparent? And why do you feel the child's age is too old to adopt?
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  #7  
Old 02-26-2008, 05:01 PM
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Bay

Everything I have seen and read states that after the age of 16, legal adoption of a foreign child is not possible. Am I wrong?

I am on this quest because an immigration lawyer told me as only a stepfather, I would have no legal rights in the event of a medical emergency.
  #8  
Old 02-26-2008, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rcu2929 View Post
Bay
Everything I have seen and read states that after the age of 16, legal adoption of a foreign child is not possible. Am I wrong?
I don't know, at all. You will want to wait for a response from nextwife, who is a wealth of info on adoption.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcu2929
I am on this quest because an immigration lawyer told me as only a stepfather, I would have no legal rights in the event of a medical emergency.
Stepparents have NO legal rights to their stepchildren. That lawyer was correct.

I have the flu and my brain is literally fuzzy -- there IS something your wife could do, for medical emergencies, but the Legal Terms escape me right now. Someone will pop in and fill in my blanks. Sorry!
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  #9  
Old 02-26-2008, 05:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
I don't know, at all. You will want to wait for a response from nextwife, who is a wealth of info on adoption.

Stepparents have NO legal rights to their stepchildren. That lawyer was correct.

I have the flu and my brain is literally fuzzy -- there IS something your wife could do, for medical emergencies, but the Legal Terms escape me right now. Someone will pop in and fill in my blanks. Sorry!
Power of Attorney??
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #10  
Old 02-26-2008, 07:35 PM
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Yes...you can get help from the clerk of courts

All you and your wife have to do, is to get you a "specific" P.O.A. (power of Attorney) in your counties"clerk of courts dept" in the domestic or juvenile and sometimes it will be in the probate dept. This will work for medical emergencies, basic doctor's apptmts., enrolling in school and the basic functions for your step child. I believe this will fit your needs.

Also...some states DO allow and have laws in place for a defacto standing in regards to becoming a legal guardian and/or custodian. Regardless of how long you two were/are married but how long you have been with the child. It all depends on how long you have been her care giver, support and other factors. Also of course the immigrations factor. (Personally, I think you would be doing the right thing to persue this)

Look up defacto parent in your state.
Last edited by Grandma's house; 02-26-2008 at 07:43 PM. Reason: correction from his caregiver to HER caregiver.
  #11  
Old 02-26-2008, 07:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandma's house View Post
All you and your wife have to do, is to get you a "specific" P.O.A. (power of Attorney) in your counties"clerk of courts dept" in the domestic or juvenile and sometimes it will be in the probate dept. This will work for medical emergencies, basic doctor's apptmts., enrolling in school and the basic functions for your step child. I believe this will fit your needs.

Also...some states DO allow and have laws in place for a defacto standing in regards to becoming a legal guardian and/or custodian. Regardless of how long you two were/are married but how long you have been with the child. It all depends on how long you have been her care giver, support and other factors. Also of course the immigrations factor. (Personally, I think you would be doing the right thing to persue this)

Look up defacto parent in your state.

This child is NOT A US CITIZEN. Please don't give out wrong info...
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #12  
Old 02-26-2008, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
This child is NOT A US CITIZEN. Please don't give out wrong info...
Like I stated very clearly: "Also of course the immigrations factor". However I am so glad to see the acknowledgement that there is a defacto parent standing in some states and more to follow. While it MAY not be for all but step parents, grand parents and even aunts and uncles in some cases may have some help.
Last edited by Grandma's house; 02-26-2008 at 08:23 PM.
  #13  
Old 02-26-2008, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandma's house View Post
Like I stated very clearly: "Also of course the immigrations factor". However I am so glad to see the acknowledgement that there is a defacto parent standing in some states and more to follow. While it MAY not be for all but step parents, grand parents and even aunts and uncles in some cases may have some help.
In THIS thread the child is not a citizen. Stepfather can't be declared de facto parent. IF something were to happen to Mom, child would be sent to her father. Your de facto parent posting is totally IRRELEVANT to THIS thread. It just confuses the issue. DO NOT POST IN FAMILY LAW. You really know nothing about custody/adoption/support so PLEASE! For the sake of these poor people coming here looking for LEGAL help....STOP!
__________________
~A 8 a.m. bus-stop conversation~

"So Lil'Blue...Did you like the DVDs I got for you at the library?"
"Yes...I did!"
"Did you learn any interesting facts about the animals on the movie (Nation Geographic)?"
"Yes...I did learn interesting things!"
"Would you share with me an interesting fact?"
"Wellll....I learned that Naked Mole Rats are WICKED naked!"

~~~~~~~
  #14  
Old 02-26-2008, 08:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rcu2929 View Post
Could you point me in the correct direction as to who I need to speak to: an Immigration lawyer familiar with adoption, or a Family or Adoption lawyer?
For O.P. Sounds like a combo. lawyer knowledgable in both.

However you keep saying adoption. Then you say guardianship and or custody. These are huge differences.

I say talk to a combo. atty. that knows immigration laws regarding either/or both.
  #15  
Old 02-26-2008, 08:44 PM
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Please Stop Giving Orders. I Gave Good Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
In THIS thread the child is not a citizen. Stepfather can't be declared de facto parent. IF something were to happen to Mom, child would be sent to her father. Your de facto parent posting is totally IRRELEVANT to THIS thread. It just confuses the issue. DO NOT POST IN FAMILY LAW. You really know nothing about custody/adoption/support so PLEASE! For the sake of these poor people coming here looking for LEGAL help....STOP!
1.) I pointed him in the direction of HOW to obtain a P.O.A. and for what reasons. You did not.

2.) I also pointed him as he specifically asked: what kind of an atty. and you did not.

In fact I do not see where you gave this O.P. any help really at all but to bash me. I do not appreciate it and I have not said anything "wrong" at all. The ONLY thing in his post I do not know anything about is the immigration issues. That is why I suggested he see an atty. that specializes in IT.

I do not want to be corrected by you any further. Please stop.
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