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  #1  
Old 03-18-2004, 03:24 PM
booyaa
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Help I Made A Huge Mistake


Hello.

I need help. First off let me start by saying that I am a 33 year old professional male. I am married for the 2nd time and I have a wife and 2 wonderful stepchildren.

My previous marraige wasnt such a stoll through the flowers. When I was younger, 22 to be exact, I was involved in a car accident in which my best friend was killed. I had been drinking and was subsequently arrested for homicide by vehicle while DUI. It was after this I met my first wife. In her defense the relationship was doomed from the start because I had this horrific accident looming over my head.

We had 2 children together. The first was born right before I had to start serving my 3 year sentence for the death of my friend. The second was born when I was in jail.

After serving the first year of my 3 year sentence, my marraige started to deteriorate. My wife brought the children less and less to see me. Eventually my mother broght them.

My wife filed for divorce 14 months in and we were divorced. My mother continued to bring the kids to see me.

Upin my release, I was heavily involved in my childrens lives, to the discomfort of their mother. She was in a new relationship and she wanted me far from her kids. She wanted her new man to take over fatherly duties. I didnt mind this. If she was going to be with someone he may as well be a good guy, which this guy is.

I then finished college and became a computer professional. I paid $1000 a month in support and tried my hardest so be a good father.

NOW HERES WHERE MY PROBLEMS BEGIN

My first wife i believe resented the fact I was remarried. Also resented the fact she couldnt work her marraige out with me.

She did everything she could at this point to make my visitation hard and prevent it. She eventually went to accusing me of molestation of my daughter, which pissed me so off. It was right around the time I was supposed to spend my first Christmas with them and my new wife.

Well after this, things snowballed . I was accused of neglect, abuse, verbal abuse, and psychological abuse of the kids. She had gone so far as to take them to therapy to get a shrink to say that I was detrimental to my kids. WHICH she was never able to do.

The bottom line is this: It got so bad (the horrific accusations and stories) that it caused my wife to leave me. I, in turn, agreed to give up the kids for adoption.

I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE. CAN I FIX THIS AND REUNIFY??????????

I AM A LOVING FATHER AND HAVE ALWAYS LOVED MY CHILDREN MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. WHAT CAN I DO???????????

HELP

THANKS
  #2  
Old 03-18-2004, 03:34 PM
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Have your rights actually been terminated and the children adopted?
  #3  
Old 03-18-2004, 03:43 PM
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My response:

It's over. It's a done deal.

Make new babies.

IAAL
  #4  
Old 04-06-2004, 02:44 PM
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Location: Illinois
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Dont listen to IAAL. He is a jerk. Yes, it is worth it. NO dont adopt your kids to some maniac and some wicked ex to torment. Fight for them, but dont give up. DONT make new babies. This is what is wrong with this society. You cannot erase your first born kids. 2nd babies, third, fifteen it cannot replace your other kids. You must care EQUALLY for all of them. IAAL is prolly a deadbeat, if not financially, then emotionally.
You have rights. Dont take this sitting down. You can dis-prove her lies with the right attorney.
Your a good man!!! Dont give up. Worst case senerio, you can have them back in your life when they are older, and then they can have a right to see you on their own. But pay your CS regardless of the outcome. Dont punish the kids. The B**** will always welcome your money, and proves that you have made a good faith effort to raise your kids, at least financially. If they really were accusing you of molestation, why would you continue to pay CS? The judge will see this, and it MAY work in your favor.
  #5  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:08 PM
oberauerdorf
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Sorry red but since we don't even know IN WHAT STATE THIS OCCURRED <that's a hint> there is no legitimate answer to be given.

And since he voluntarily gave up rights to the child, there are only VERY SPECIFIC grounds for overturning such, and a very limited timeframe.

But, since we don't know what the hell the jurisdictional state is, how the hell does he expect an answer?
  #6  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:18 PM
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On WHAT LEGAL basis do you make such a recommendation, Red?

Without knowing the state this occured in, or the timeframe since the TPR and subsequent adoption, you cannot begin to know whether a legal basis to rescind the adoption even exists! There is nothing in what the poster wrote that indicates he was not "mentally capable" of arriving at a decision of his own free will. He has since had a change of heart. THAT ALONE is not enough to have a court set aside an adoption.
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
  #7  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:19 PM
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JINX, Obi!
__________________
Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
  #8  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:20 PM
oberauerdorf
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May the force be with you
  #9  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:20 PM
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Oh brother.
  #10  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:27 PM
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[quote]Originally posted by prettyredhead


Dont listen to IAAL. He is a jerk.


==========================================


My response:

And you're obviously a stupid schmuck. Apparently, you failed to read that our writer said, "I, in turn, agreed to give up the kids for adoption."

Being an emotional female doesn't make you correct, or make me wrong, Red. Learn something about the law, Red, before you open your mouth. You might come off smarter that way.

IAAL
  #11  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:46 PM
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All I was saying was that HE WAS A GOOD MAN AND TO NOT BE FORCED TO GIVE UP HIS KIDS>
It is just like you to jump all over me. If I am so bad, why am I not banned./? Because a law degree doesnt mean you can give good advice. I must have some valid points as I always do.
You cannot just erase your kids. It is deplorable.

Just consider me your whipping girl. I can take you all on. You dont scare me half as much as I must scare you , I dont jump all over and attack you. Gee, I am flattered.
  #12  
Old 04-06-2004, 03:51 PM
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He wasn't forced. He chose the path of least resistance. He is now sorry.

THAT does not change the law. You have no legal basis by which to recommend he take this to court.

" Because a law degree doesnt mean you can give good advice."

Your "good advice" is to spin his wheels spending money to go to court? WHAT statute or case law are you utilizing to tell him there is one iota of a chance of prevailing? YOu cannot know what the applicable adoption statutes are, as he has not even stated which state this was!
__________________
Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!

Last edited by nextwife; 04-06-2004 at 04:20 PM.
  #13  
Old 04-06-2004, 04:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by prettyredhead
All I was saying was that HE WAS A GOOD MAN (snip)

You cannot just erase your kids. It is deplorable.
These two portions of your post are contradictory. He chose to erase his kids, in effect. Which is not something a "good man" would do.

In addition, as the others posted, we don't know what state he's in, and therefore what the relevant law would be. Nor do we know if his parental rights have actually been terminated. If they have - he's sunk and has no recourse.
  #14  
Old 04-06-2004, 04:22 PM
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[quote]Originally posted by stealth2


Nor do we know if his parental rights have actually been terminated. If they have - he's sunk and has no recourse.

======================================

My response:

The presumption, of course, is that the adoption was finalized. Why else would our original writer have come here? Why would he come here seeking to "undo" something that hasn't taken place?

Like I said, it's a "done deal".

IAAL
  #15  
Old 05-25-2004, 01:22 PM
booyaa
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Pretty,

I appreciate your reply. I am in Pennsylvania. I guess because we seem to have a panel of F. Lee Bailey's here, I will not give details, as they think that the law exists to follow a set state of rules with no circumstances to determine outcomes. Wait, isn't that what a JUDGE is for?

DOES ANYONE KNOW IF REUNIFICATION IS POSSIBLE ONCE ADOPTION HAS OCCURED? HAS ANYONE HEARD OF IT HAPPENING?

Is that clear enough? I am sorry for bogging down the forum with such trivial detail in my first post. Apparently judges wont take any of that into consideration.
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