How do I adopt my stepson?

[SPMoore]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

I have been married for 2 years now. I wish to adopt my step son. He is 13 years old. His mother recieves child support from the biological father. But the biological father did not lagitamize my step son. My step son does not share the Biological fathers last mane either. The biological father has no contact with my step son. In the past 5 years he has only recieves a christmas gift 2 times. Other than that no contact. What can I do to adopt my step son. Will I need to have the Biological father sign for the adoption even if he did not lagitimize him? My son has the last name of his mother. I simply wish to have his name changed to my last name to make him feel like he belongs. Please any advice will be wonderful.

Thanks

[seniorjudge]

You will need to hire an adoption lawyer.

[gawm]

Originally Posted by SPMoore

My son has the last name of his mother. I simply wish to have his name changed to my last name to make him feel like he belongs.

I don't see how changing a last name will magically make him feel like he belongs. Either he feels like he belongs or he doesn't, the name change has nothing to do with it. I can see how it would make you feel like he belongs. Have you discussed this with him? Is it something that he wants also?

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by gawm

I don't see how changing a last name will magically make him feel like he belongs. Either he feels like he belongs or he doesn't, the name change has nothing to do with it. I can see how it would make you feel like he belongs. Have you discussed this with him? Is it something that he wants also?

Generally I would agree with you. However, I have seen something odd happen. When my husband and I were discussing adoption of my children we had them very involved. In fact it was up to them whether we did it or not in the first place. I would ask them WHY they wanted it and at 9 and 12 they always brought up the last name thing... not necessarily to fit in, but thinking they wouldn't get made fun of. We explained that if kids want to find a reason, no matter what the name they will make fun of them..etc. Their last name was Hines and was often refered to the Ketsup ( ) Their last name was to be changed to Skinner and we thought of and told them of several things that could be said. It didn't change their minds. And the funny thing is the only thing I can think of is it made them more confident and they will likely tell you that one of the best things about the adoption was the name change!!