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  1. #1
    mom070911 is offline Junior Member
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    How do I have my son's biological father sign his rights over?

    I once lived in another state where I had a child with a now ex-boyfriend. I now live in Tennessee and my son's birth state gave me custody and allowed me to be in Tennessee with my son.
    His father has not even attempted to contact me about my son in over a year and also does not comply with the courts order to submit three drug tests a year to me. He also still owes me about six thousand dollars in back child support. I would like to have him sign his rights completely over to my fiance so my fiance can adopt my son. My son adores my fiance and is basically his little shadow and does everything with him. My son does not even care for his own father because when his biological father was in the picture my son would cry everytime he had to go with his biological father.

    Is there a way to have my ex sign his rights over without getting a lawyer involved especially considering he lives in another state?
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    I once lived in another state where I had a child with a now ex-boyfriend. I now live in Tennessee and my son's birth state gave me custody and allowed me to be in Tennessee with my son.
    His father has not even attempted to contact me about my son in over a year and also does not comply with the courts order to submit three drug tests a year to me. He also still owes me about six thousand dollars in back child support. I would like to have him sign his rights completely over to my fiance so my fiance can adopt my son. My son adores my fiance and is basically his little shadow and does everything with him. My son does not even care for his own father because when his biological father was in the picture my son would cry everytime he had to go with his biological father.

    Is there a way to have my ex sign his rights over without getting a lawyer involved especially considering he lives in another state?


    Your fiance cannot adopt your son. You need to get married, remain married for awhile and then speak with an adoption attorney.

    THEN your new husband can adopt as a stepparent.

    And really - don't play the "My current is better than my ex" card. It won't work here, and it won't work in court.

  3. #3
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    You can't do a stepparent adoption until there is a stepparent - meaning you must be married. And you can't (SHOULDN'T) attempt an adoption of ANY type without an attorney.
  4. #4
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    I once lived in another state where I had a child with a now ex-boyfriend. I now live in Tennessee and my son's birth state gave me custody and allowed me to be in Tennessee with my son.
    OK.
    How old is this child? Did you legally obtain permission to move? What kind of visitation (if any) does the child's father have?


    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    His father has not even attempted to contact me about my son in over a year and also does not comply with the courts order to submit three drug tests a year to me. He also still owes me about six thousand dollars in back child support.
    Ok, so Dad is definitely absent.
    Please try to keep in mind that child support and custody/parenting time are separate issues.

    If Dad had requested his parenting time, then you might consider pushing the drug-test clause. As things sit, it's kind of a non-issue.


    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    I would like to have him sign his rights completely over to my fiance so my fiance can adopt my son.
    And I would like Jake Gyllenhaal to realize he truly loves ME and come sweep me off to a life of glamour and luxury.


    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    My son adores my fiance and is basically his little shadow and does everything with him.
    Do you allow Junior to call your fiance "Dad"? Just as an FYI: this is a big no-no. Your child has a father and your boyfriend/fiance is not him.


    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    My son does not even care for his own father because when his biological father was in the picture my son would cry everytime he had to go with his biological father.
    Trust me, your child cares about his father. And will care. And will want to know more about his father as he grows up. Replacing him with a man who may or may not become your husband is not going to erase those questions.
    And when Junior has to go with Dad, what are you doing to make the exerience appear positive and fun?


    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post
    Is there a way to have my ex sign his rights over without getting a lawyer involved especially considering he lives in another state?
    IF Dad refuses consent, no.
    And in order to pursue a stepparent adoption, you need ot have an actual stepparent. You do not. And you should never ever attempt any type of adoption without an attorney.
    Last edited by CSO286; 10-12-2011 at 09:26 AM.
  5. #5
    mom070911 is offline Junior Member
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    My son is 4 years old. Yes I was given permission to move out of state with him. Visitation is I have to go to my old state a couple times a year, and if biological father wants, he can make arragements to come to my current state and have visitation BUT he needs to submit drug tests to me (at least 3 a year) and has not done so. (it was proven in court that he over dosed on methadone and was getting perscription pain medications from MULTIPLE doctors). And yes, I do have that in writting that he was getting perscriptions from multiple doctors and that he overdosed on methadone.

    My son does not call my fiance Dad. He calls him by name.

    My son honestly clung to me every time he saw his biological father and often times would cry. My son is a very happy lovable child and his biological father is the only person he has ever acted like that around. I never once have ever done anything to make my son feel like that about his father. I would always try to encourage my son to go to him and my son never wanted to.
    His father is not very good with my son. He has no patience and even when my son was a baby (newborn) he would be crying for me to feed him and his father would yell "SHUT UP!" at him. It did not take long for the guardian ad lietum to discover that my son's biological father is a pathelogical liar and believe me, she truely believed his "poor pitty me" story for quite a while. He is that good of a liar.

    And in all fairness, my fiance is actually 100% a better person than my ex, but I would never just say that in court. I would let the judge see for themself. Believe me, I know a judge has pretty good judgement on people considering the cases they deal with every single day.
  6. #6
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom070911 View Post

    And in all fairness, my fiance is actually 100% a better person than my ex, but I would never just say that in court. I would let the judge see for themself. Believe me, I know a judge has pretty good judgement on people considering the cases they deal with every single day.
    Sigh... Then you should have waited for your fiance before procreating.

    At the end of the day, a court is not going to go along with your plan of Musical Daddies.

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