Closed Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Jo44 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3

    How to be unadopted?!?!?

    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    I am 29 yrs old, when I was 13 my mother remarried for the 3rd time and her husband adopted me a year later. My real dad who I refer to for most of my life as the "sperm donor" signed over rights willingly, he thought it would be best for me as he was never really a dad to me anyway.

    OK i'm going to get to my point now, we have grown apart, he has a new girlfriend, they go out and do their thing he has no "time" for me or my children.

    I know have a good relationship with my bio father and would like to have his name back on my birth certificate.

    So anyway - I want to see what I can do to reverse the adoption or remove his name from my birth certificate, no man who does not appreciate a daughter, and two wonderful grandchildren does not deserve the right to be called a dad/grandfather.

    Does anyone out there know anything about this?
    Last edited by Jo44; 09-26-2006 at 07:35 AM.
  2. #2
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Grand Junction, CO
    Posts
    25,566
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo44 View Post
    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    I am 29 yrs old, when I was 13 my mother remarried for the 3rd time and her husband adopted me a year later. My real dad who I refer to for most of my life as the "sperm donor" signed over rights willingly, he thought it would be best for me as he was never really a dad to me anyway, but was rasing his two other children and his new wives two daughters which he later adopted after I was adopted.

    Anyway, life was good, I had two little sisters, I married, had two children my dad who was younger than my mom who was very young when she had me was only 10 years older than me, so at 31 he was a grandfather (he knew coming into it that that was a possibility). Anyhow the week after the birth of my second son who is now 4 my parents told me that they were getting a divorce. Since then my "dad" comes and goes, he has said some really hurtful things to people about me, cause he says i side with my mom on custody of my sisters, well just because I talk to her he thinks I'm "siding with her" he doesn't understand that I talk to her because hello!! She's my mom!

    OK i'm going to get to my point now, we have grown apart, he has a new girlfriend, they go out and do their thing he has no "time" for me or my children, and he just told me this weekend that they never have the boys around because they are to hyper!! Well they never see him, so yes they are very excited to see him when the rare chance occurs.

    So anyway - I want to see what I can do to reverse the adoption or remove his name from my birth certificate, no man who does not appreciate a daughter, and two wonderful grandchildren does not deserve the right to be called a dad/grandfather.

    Does anyone out there know anything about this?
    There's nothing to be done. He's your father. You don't have to see him or talk to him if you don't choose to do so. You're an adult.

    Your family has an *interesting* way of handling disputes -- cutting people legally out of your lives.
  3. #3
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    24,357
    Guess what? Non-adopted children also "drift apart" from their parents. They may be alienated for a time from either or both parents.

    But neither adopted nor biokids get to CHOOSE to be or not be the child of their parents if they don't get along. He IS your (legal) dad. If every kid that had disagreements with their parents got to "undo" their parentage, the world would be full of parentless kids.
  4. #4
    Jo44 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
    There's nothing to be done. He's your father. You don't have to see him or talk to him if you don't choose to do so. You're an adult.

    Your family has an *interesting* way of handling disputes -- cutting people legally out of your lives.
    You honestly have no idea what I have been through, and what I have tolerated because people are my "mom" or my "dad" one person can only take so much. He has cut me and my family from his life in more ways than one, I just don't feel he deserves to be able to say any longer that he is my dad.

    I have even tried to take "breaks" from them but then I'm always out to be the bad guy, I've even tried talking to him about my feelings, with no luck. I'm just tired of trying and being heart broken, I need this to make me sane.
  5. #5
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    24,357
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo44 View Post
    You honestly have no idea what I have been through, and what I have tolerated because people are my "mom" or my "dad" one person can only take so much. He has cut me and my family from his life in more ways than one, I just don't feel he deserves to be able to say any longer that he is my dad.

    I have even tried to take "breaks" from them but then I'm always out to be the bad guy, I've even tried talking to him about my feelings, with no luck. I'm just tired of trying and being heart broken, I need this to make me sane.
    THere are biokids who have similar sentiments about one or both of their parents, but they still can't just "undo" their legal parentage. They CAN however, as adults, let themselves be adopted by a different willing adult.
  6. #6
    demartian is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    226

    An Idea

    Once you are an adult, does it really matter who is on your birth certificate anymore?

    Write up a card for your bio dad and write in it, "I love you, Dad!" There you go, you've just declared him your dad...
  7. #7
    Jo44 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by demartian View Post
    Once you are an adult, does it really matter who is on your birth certificate anymore?

    Write up a card for your bio dad and write in it, "I love you, Dad!" There you go, you've just declared him your dad...

    I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it.
  8. #8
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Grand Junction, CO
    Posts
    25,566
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo44 View Post
    I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it.
    Really, all you can do is be an adult and get over it. I don't mean to be rude, but you can either obsess over this minor legality or you can move forward. Good luck to you.
  9. #9
    moburkes is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    South Cackalacky
    Posts
    15,365
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo44 View Post
    I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it.
    Unfortunately, though, it doesn't work this way. All it takes are sperm and an egg to become a parent. It doesn't take "privilege" at all. Grandparents are not required to appreciate their grandkids, nor their kids. There is nothing that you can do.

    If this is causing you that much stress, then maybe you need to seek counseling.

    Your bio dad gave up his legal rights to you, and now he is back in the picture. What if you two drift apart again? Then what will you do?

Similar Threads

  1. Unadopted Road Access Problem.
    By rp88 in forum Neighbors & Boundaries
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-14-2010, 08:36 PM
  2. i want my children unadopted
    By talishes in forum Adoption
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-26-2008, 06:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.