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09-25-2006, 12:27 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3
| | | How to be unadopted?!?!?
What is the name of your state? Ohio
I am 29 yrs old, when I was 13 my mother remarried for the 3rd time and her husband adopted me a year later. My real dad who I refer to for most of my life as the "sperm donor" signed over rights willingly, he thought it would be best for me as he was never really a dad to me anyway.
OK i'm going to get to my point now, we have grown apart, he has a new girlfriend, they go out and do their thing he has no "time" for me or my children.
I know have a good relationship with my bio father and would like to have his name back on my birth certificate.
So anyway - I want to see what I can do to reverse the adoption or remove his name from my birth certificate, no man who does not appreciate a daughter, and two wonderful grandchildren does not deserve the right to be called a dad/grandfather.
Does anyone out there know anything about this?
Last edited by Jo44; 09-26-2006 at 08:35 AM.
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09-25-2006, 12:36 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,766
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Originally Posted by Jo44  What is the name of your state? Ohio
I am 29 yrs old, when I was 13 my mother remarried for the 3rd time and her husband adopted me a year later. My real dad who I refer to for most of my life as the "sperm donor" signed over rights willingly, he thought it would be best for me as he was never really a dad to me anyway, but was rasing his two other children and his new wives two daughters which he later adopted after I was adopted.
Anyway, life was good, I had two little sisters, I married, had two children my dad who was younger than my mom who was very young when she had me was only 10 years older than me, so at 31 he was a grandfather (he knew coming into it that that was a possibility). Anyhow the week after the birth of my second son who is now 4 my parents told me that they were getting a divorce. Since then my "dad" comes and goes, he has said some really hurtful things to people about me, cause he says i side with my mom on custody of my sisters, well just because I talk to her he thinks I'm "siding with her" he doesn't understand that I talk to her because hello!! She's my mom!
OK i'm going to get to my point now, we have grown apart, he has a new girlfriend, they go out and do their thing he has no "time" for me or my children, and he just told me this weekend that they never have the boys around because they are to hyper!! Well they never see him, so yes they are very excited to see him when the rare chance occurs.
So anyway - I want to see what I can do to reverse the adoption or remove his name from my birth certificate, no man who does not appreciate a daughter, and two wonderful grandchildren does not deserve the right to be called a dad/grandfather.
Does anyone out there know anything about this? | There's nothing to be done. He's your father. You don't have to see him or talk to him if you don't choose to do so. You're an adult.
Your family has an *interesting* way of handling disputes -- cutting people legally out of your lives. 
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
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09-25-2006, 12:37 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,145
| | | Guess what? Non-adopted children also "drift apart" from their parents. They may be alienated for a time from either or both parents.
But neither adopted nor biokids get to CHOOSE to be or not be the child of their parents if they don't get along. He IS your (legal) dad. If every kid that had disagreements with their parents got to "undo" their parentage, the world would be full of parentless kids.
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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09-26-2006, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Silverplum There's nothing to be done. He's your father. You don't have to see him or talk to him if you don't choose to do so. You're an adult.
Your family has an *interesting* way of handling disputes -- cutting people legally out of your lives. | You honestly have no idea what I have been through, and what I have tolerated because people are my "mom" or my "dad" one person can only take so much. He has cut me and my family from his life in more ways than one, I just don't feel he deserves to be able to say any longer that he is my dad.
I have even tried to take "breaks" from them but then I'm always out to be the bad guy, I've even tried talking to him about my feelings, with no luck. I'm just tired of trying and being heart broken, I need this to make me sane. |
09-26-2006, 08:56 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,145
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Originally Posted by Jo44 You honestly have no idea what I have been through, and what I have tolerated because people are my "mom" or my "dad" one person can only take so much. He has cut me and my family from his life in more ways than one, I just don't feel he deserves to be able to say any longer that he is my dad.
I have even tried to take "breaks" from them but then I'm always out to be the bad guy, I've even tried talking to him about my feelings, with no luck. I'm just tired of trying and being heart broken, I need this to make me sane. | THere are biokids who have similar sentiments about one or both of their parents, but they still can't just "undo" their legal parentage. They CAN however, as adults, let themselves be adopted by a different willing adult.
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
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09-26-2006, 11:05 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 226
| | | An Idea
Once you are an adult, does it really matter who is on your birth certificate anymore?
Write up a card for your bio dad and write in it, "I love you, Dad!" There you go, you've just declared him your dad... |
09-26-2006, 11:52 AM
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Posts: 3
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Originally Posted by demartian Once you are an adult, does it really matter who is on your birth certificate anymore?
Write up a card for your bio dad and write in it, "I love you, Dad!" There you go, you've just declared him your dad... |
I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it. |
09-26-2006, 12:09 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,766
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Originally Posted by Jo44 I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it. | Really, all you can do is be an adult and get over it. I don't mean to be rude, but you can either obsess over this minor legality or you can move forward. Good luck to you. 
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
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09-26-2006, 12:29 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: South Cackalacky
Posts: 15,040
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Originally Posted by Jo44 I guess not, but to me it is considered a privelage to be a parent, and he has proven he doesnt appreciate it or deserve it. | Unfortunately, though, it doesn't work this way. All it takes are sperm and an egg to become a parent. It doesn't take "privilege" at all. Grandparents are not required to appreciate their grandkids, nor their kids. There is nothing that you can do.
If this is causing you that much stress, then maybe you need to seek counseling.
Your bio dad gave up his legal rights to you, and now he is back in the picture. What if you two drift apart again? Then what will you do? | |
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