Husband Wants To Adopt My Daughter!

[kaylasmommy]

California

My husband wants to adopt my daughter but since he is in the US Coast Guard, our living arrangements are weird right now. My daughter and I live in Northern CA where we are both attending school and where I have family and he is living in Los Angeles where he's stationed. Would he petition the court in the county where the child lives, and will continue to live until he transfers and I am done with school or would he petition in the county in which the he lives??
Which does it go by? The child or petitioner? Help!

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by kaylasmommy

California

My husband wants to adopt my daughter but since he is in the US Coast Guard, our living arrangements are weird right now. My daughter and I live in Northern CA where we are both attending school and where I have family and he is living in Los Angeles where he's stationed. Would he petition the court in the county where the child lives, and will continue to live until he transfers and I am done with school or would he petition in the county in which the he lives??
Which does it go by? The child or petitioner? Help!

Here we go again for the 1,678th time.

And where is the child's father?

[kaylasmommy]

California

I am aware of the whole process...I have been to Coast Guard legal assistance, and bought a book about doing your own CA adoption. I don't want you to feel as though you have to give a lot of details.
Anyway, my daughters father is somewhere in San Diego, CA. The last time he saw her was Sept. 29, 2002. He hasn't paid any child support except for the "generous donation" of $50 he made in December of 2001. I guess I should mention that my daughter is only 4. She was born in July of 2001. He saw her every month or so in the first year (all trips paid for by me), then not at all after the date I mentioned above. I have a court order and all that stuff, but personally I'm happier having him leaving me alone than I would be if he was paying money and was around. He's not exactly an upstanding citizen. Lots of anger issues.
I just basically need to know about the counties. Because of the military is us living apart a non-issue?

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by kaylasmommy

California

I am aware of the whole process...I have been to Coast Guard legal assistance, and bought a book about doing your own CA adoption. I don't want you to feel as though you have to give a lot of details.
Anyway, my daughters father is somewhere in San Diego, CA. The last time he saw her was Sept. 29, 2002. He hasn't paid any child support except for the "generous donation" of $50 he made in December of 2001. I guess I should mention that my daughter is only 4. She was born in July of 2001. He saw her every month or so in the first year (all trips paid for by me), then not at all after the date I mentioned above. I have a court order and all that stuff, but personally I'm happier having him leaving me alone than I would be if he was paying money and was around. He's not exactly an upstanding citizen. Lots of anger issues.
I just basically need to know about the counties. Because of the military is us living apart a non-issue?

You just need to know about the counties? really?

And of course you know that once you file and the ex opposes the adoption on the ground that you frustrated his visitation and sent back all of his child support payments you'll end up spending a few thousand just to GET to court.

Sounds like you know everything so open up one of those books you purchased and find the answer. Or better still, spend 20 seconds to dial the local courthouse and ask them.

[kaylasmommy]

California

Well, I read through a good portion of the book already but it just says in your county. It assumes that you live with the child. I don't know if there are exceptions with military families, etc. I am also reading this book as a bystander basically. I am not considered the petitioner...that would be my husband. Even the attorney with Coast Guard legal that I spoke with assumed that we would file here in our county even though he's in Los Angeles. See where I might get confused??
Just to touch on what you said in the last response...I have never kept my daughter from him. If I was doing that, I wouldn't have spent hundreds of dollars for him to see her in the first year. I also never sent back any child support payments...because there weren't any! I do realize that he may very well contest the adoption. We are prepared for a fight...but I was told it's very possible to do the whole thing on our own.
So are you telling me to call the courthouse because you don't actually know the answer?? If that's the case, why don't you just say that...and please skip the sarcasm!

[Zephyr]

Originally Posted by kaylasmommy

California

Well, I read through a good portion of the book already but it just says in your county. It assumes that you live with the child. I don't know if there are exceptions with military families, etc. I am also reading this book as a bystander basically. I am not considered the petitioner...that would be my husband. Even the attorney with Coast Guard legal that I spoke with assumed that we would file here in our county even though he's in Los Angeles. See where I might get confused??
Just to touch on what you said in the last response...I have never kept my daughter from him. If I was doing that, I wouldn't have spent hundreds of dollars for him to see her in the first year. I also never sent back any child support payments...because there weren't any! I do realize that he may very well contest the adoption. We are prepared for a fight...but I was told it's very possible to do the whole thing on our own.
So are you telling me to call the courthouse because you don't actually know the answer?? If that's the case, why don't you just say that...and please skip the sarcasm!

if there are current orders regarding the chld you probably want to file where those originated, I do think you should get a lawyer though.

[BelizeBreeze]

You can file in any county in California. Jurisdiction is state-based, not county based.

[kaylasmommy]

California

Thank you so much for a straight answer! I really appreciate it.