Husband wants to adopt my daughter, bio-father has issues.

[queenofking03]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

My husband wants to adopt my daughter from a previous marriage, she is only 2 years of age. He has been caring for her financially, and emotionally. The biggest thing he is worried about is having to pay for a lawyer, which as of right now we cannot afford.

Until a few months ago (off the top of my head I cannot be sure when exactly), my ex-husband was not providing medical insurance of any sort for our daughter. He claims he was unemployed and could not provide any. Also he claims he did have medical for her, and told the court he gave me the information. He did not. He is now currently providing medical insurance, but has not paid child support since March 30th, 2009. So he is no longer supporting our child.

As of now my husband has been supporting my daughter and myself. I became unemployed when we moved as my boss would not transfer me. I am also expecting my second child with my husband.

The courts allowed my husband to provide medical insurance for my daughter when it became available, and once our child is born, we will have both children put on his insurance. He is more than willing to care for my daughter, and would love to have her as his own daughter.

On top of my ex-husband providing very little for our daughter, he has done nothing but spy on me and try to ruin my life. It is causing me a great deal of stress, especially when my daughter comes back from visitation says she hates me and things like, "I kick your butt." I can only imagine what other horrible things my ex-husband is filling my daughter's head with.

Is there any way I can prove the father unfit? He has been mentally and physically abusive to me when we were together, he is an alcoholic refusing to get help, even though it was put into the parenting plan/divorce decree, he does drugs, only one of which I am sure of, plus countless & nameless pills. I do not believe he would give up his rights to this child, but only to get back at me for leaving him. I truely believe he does not honestly care for my daughter, but only wishes to use her as a pawn in revenge, or as property to antagonize me with.

I personally refuse to give up on providing this child with a much better child-hood and upbringing than I had. It is also my wish that my husband adopt my daughter as it would greatly benefit her. She would have a whole family who cares and loves her and will support her throughout life. With her biological father in her life, I can only imagine what will happen to her. With the biological father most likely refusing to let my husband adopt her, or to give up his rights, what are actions my husband and I can take to make this adoption possible?

[IsabellaSoriano]

dad exercises his visitation. he is legally allowed to suck as a parent. nothing you have mentioned so far falls under involuntary termination of rights.

this is NOT something to do without an attorney anyway.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by queenofking03

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

My husband wants to adopt my daughter from a previous marriage, she is only 2 years of age. He has been caring for her financially, and emotionally. The biggest thing he is worried about is having to pay for a lawyer, which as of right now we cannot afford.

Until a few months ago (off the top of my head I cannot be sure when exactly), my ex-husband was not providing medical insurance of any sort for our daughter. He claims he was unemployed and could not provide any. Also he claims he did have medical for her, and told the court he gave me the information. He did not. He is now currently providing medical insurance, but has not paid child support since March 30th, 2009. So he is no longer supporting our child.

Then he is supporting your child. Have you filed contempt for non-payment?

As of now my husband has been supporting my daughter and myself. I became unemployed when we moved as my boss would not transfer me. I am also expecting my second child with my husband.

The courts allowed my husband to provide medical insurance for my daughter when it became available, and once our child is born, we will have both children put on his insurance. He is more than willing to care for my daughter, and would love to have her as his own daughter.

On top of my ex-husband providing very little for our daughter, he has done nothing but spy on me and try to ruin my life. It is causing me a great deal of stress, especially when my daughter comes back from visitation says she hates me and things like, "I kick your butt." I can only imagine what other horrible things my ex-husband is filling my daughter's head with.

Come on - she could've picked that up anywhere. Even while she's been with you.

Is there any way I can prove the father unfit? He has been mentally and physically abusive to me when we were together, he is an alcoholic refusing to get help, even though it was put into the parenting plan/divorce decree, he does drugs, only one of which I am sure of, plus countless & nameless pills.

What proof do you have of his drug abuse? You've allowed your daughter to have visitation with this guy even though you know all these things about him? You're basically saying it's OK for him to be like this.

I do not believe he would give up his rights to this child, but only to get back at me for leaving him. I truely believe he does not honestly care for my daughter, but only wishes to use her as a pawn in revenge, or as property to antagonize me with.

You're free to think that.

I personally refuse to give up on providing this child with a much better child-hood and upbringing than I had. It is also my wish that my husband adopt my daughter as it would greatly benefit her. She would have a whole family who cares and loves her and will support her throughout life. With her biological father in her life, I can only imagine what will happen to her.

You can't prove that her father won't also do the same. Also he's not her bio father - he's just her father. She only has one and it's not your husband.

With the biological father most likely refusing to let my husband adopt her, or to give up his rights, what are actions my husband and I can take to make this adoption possible?

So far you have shown nothing to prove Dad unfit. Without this you're going to have great difficulty in having your current husband adopt.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by queenofking03

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

My husband wants to adopt my daughter from a previous marriage, she is only 2 years of age. He has been caring for her financially, and emotionally. The biggest thing he is worried about is having to pay for a lawyer, which as of right now we cannot afford.

Until a few months ago (off the top of my head I cannot be sure when exactly), my ex-husband was not providing medical insurance of any sort for our daughter. He claims he was unemployed and could not provide any. Also he claims he did have medical for her, and told the court he gave me the information. He did not. He is now currently providing medical insurance, but has not paid child support since March 30th, 2009. So he is no longer supporting our child.

As of now my husband has been supporting my daughter and myself. I became unemployed when we moved as my boss would not transfer me. I am also expecting my second child with my husband.

The courts allowed my husband to provide medical insurance for my daughter when it became available, and once our child is born, we will have both children put on his insurance. He is more than willing to care for my daughter, and would love to have her as his own daughter.

On top of my ex-husband providing very little for our daughter, he has done nothing but spy on me and try to ruin my life. It is causing me a great deal of stress, especially when my daughter comes back from visitation says she hates me and things like, "I kick your butt." I can only imagine what other horrible things my ex-husband is filling my daughter's head with.

Is there any way I can prove the father unfit? He has been mentally and physically abusive to me when we were together, he is an alcoholic refusing to get help, even though it was put into the parenting plan/divorce decree, he does drugs, only one of which I am sure of, plus countless & nameless pills. I do not believe he would give up his rights to this child, but only to get back at me for leaving him. I truely believe he does not honestly care for my daughter, but only wishes to use her as a pawn in revenge, or as property to antagonize me with.

I personally refuse to give up on providing this child with a much better child-hood and upbringing than I had. It is also my wish that my husband adopt my daughter as it would greatly benefit her. She would have a whole family who cares and loves her and will support her throughout life. With her biological father in her life, I can only imagine what will happen to her. With the biological father most likely refusing to let my husband adopt her, or to give up his rights, what are actions my husband and I can take to make this adoption possible?

Wow. Plan on losing custody if you keep this up.

[Ronin]

... it's mind boggling that anyone would have the gall to even think they can take custody of a two year old born of their spouses prior marriage from the child's other parent... at least not with the facts in this case.

Terminating the rights of a parent who objects is very difficult, and given the stated circumstances in your case, next to impossible.

The fact that the father is a conservator of the child and has standard visitation, legally implies the court has already deemed him a fit parent. Any issues he may have had prior to when the custody orders were rendered are no longer relevant to any claims of parental unfitness. Only new issues going forward can be raised.

He is more than willing to care for my daughter, and would love to have her as his own daughter.

While that is commendable, he is going to have to accept the fact that he will be her step parent only as long as he is married to you, and that he is not or ever will be HER FATHER.

There are surely tens of thousands of step-parents who dream of a scenario where the child's non-custodial parent steps out of the picture so they can have a nice tidy family.

[nextwife]

Gee, Mom.

YOU are not yourself financially supporting the child nor providing them health coverage either! Does that mean dad should be able to take YOUR parental rights away and have a newer spouse of theirs adopt your child?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Gee, Mom.

YOU are not yourself financially supporting the child nor yourself providing them health coverage either! Does that mean dad should be able to take YOUR parental rights away and have a newer spouse of theirs adopt your child?

What's good for the goose, right? I'm thinking Mom is not going to agree with that though....

[swrdmbo]

Your daughter is two years old...in that time you have been married to the child's Father (your ex), got divorced, married someone else , moved AND are expecting another child?????

And NOW you are SO SURE you and this hubby are going to be together forever??? I am REALLY wondering where you (and your two children) are going to be two years from NOW!!

As was pointed out, YOU are not financially supporting your daughter or providing insurance for her either!!!

I would be REAL careful with you pushing this matter, you really don't come across well at all in your post...maybe you are just making a case for your ex to get custody...your lack of regard for your daughter's relationship with her Father makes you appear to be VERY selfish...YOU want a tidy little family...so let's just forget about her Father??!!

You need to adjust your attitude for your daughters sake...and lose the bioDad...he is her Father.