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I need my son back

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mallog

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri.
In 2001 my wife and I separated. She got custody, and was not letting me see our son at the time. I was unemployed , extremely depressed, and work was hard to find in the area so I moved to Arizona to get back on my feet. I had full intentions of returning to Missouri for my son. She ended up in an abusive relationship and dropped our son off at her parents house and they started to raise him. He was 3 at the time. I would call, send letters and cards, toys and money from time to time when i could. I was gone for 3 years. After the first year I was told be my mother in law not to call anymore, but i still would anyway. Most of the time I called there would be no reply. I moved back to MO in 2004. The day I got back I went to visit my son. No one answered the door, although voices and movement could be heard inside. I could never get anyone to answer the phone or door when i would try to make contact. About a month after I returned I was served papers. My in laws were trying to take my rights away to adopt my son! There was no court date on the papers so I called the court house. They said no date had been set. I didnt have the money for an attorney but quickly started to save. In the meantime i called the court house every 2 weeks to see if a date had been set. After a couple months of calling I was told that there had already been 1 hearing, and I missed it, but I was given a date for a second hearing. When I arrived, I still had no attorney and was informed my wife had signed her rights to her parents. I asked for an extension, to obtain an attorney and was granted a month. I got an attorney that week. In the hearing they claimed that i never called, sent letters cards toys or money. It was my job to provide proof that i had sent anything or made calls. I had kept no reciepts, the judge wouldnt allow any of the affedavits filled out by witnesses who would be with me when i bought toys and sent them so i had no proof. I was even accused of being homosexual at one point. Through none of this did my attorney say or do anything. In the end the guardian ad litem - the state appointed attorney to the child - had sided with me and said that it wasnt in the best interest of my son for my rights to be taken away. The judge however, still took my rights away because of a warrant that i was not aware of for a $100 check that bounced in AZ. He claimed that i was trying to escape from a warrant.
I was in an accident and lost use of my left arm for the better part of a year and was out of work for almost 2 years bc of it shortly after court so I was unable to afford to appeal the judges decision at removing my rights. My son was adopted almost 2 years ago now. I miss my son dearly, and i dont know what to do. There is an emptiness inside without him. I am saving to get an attorney to try to fight again, but i dont know if adoptions can be overturned. According to the papers i recieved it cannot be appealed. Please help. I need my baby boy back. I have seen him a few times now. On my first visit with him he asked if that meant that he was gonna get to live with me and his mom again. Then he pulled a picture of me and his mom together out of his dresser and hugged it before showing me. I do nothing but work, sleep and cry, please can anyone give me advice. I have made mistakes in my life but I have never done anything to deserve to lose my son.
I havent seen or heard from my son in almost 1.5 years now bc they wont let me have contact with him. My niece and nephew go to school with my son. He is 8 now. They have told me that my son doesnt speak to many people and has gained a lot of weight since the adoption. He is now overweight. I dont want my son to be emotionally or mentally unstable for the rest of his life.
 
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momofrose

Senior Member
I am sorry for all of your heartache..but sometimes too little is really too late.

I wold continue to send your son letters and cards (if there is no restraining order) to your son telling him you love him and what a mess you made of your life, but that it is not a reflection on him. DO NOT blame anyone for this adoption - it was your fault that it went through and you can not say anything negative about his parents as it will only affect him negatively and they could ask that a restraining order be issues.

be there as much as you can for him, if love is truly your goal...but as far as being a parent - that now is someone else's title and job - sorry.

d
 

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