I placed for adoption- I changed my mind

[lyzard]

What is the name of your state? PA
I just placed for adoption, it was fianlized 2 days ago. I thought i could live with it, i can't. Is it possible to change this? I did receive a threatening email from the father nad was under extreme emotional duress.
PLease respond
LIz

[nextwife]

[url]http://www.adoptionsolutions.com/general/state%20laws/pa_law.htm[/url]

Consent to Adoption
Consent is required of the following parties:
1. the parents of the adoptee, who are under 18 years of age;
2. the husband, if he was the husband of the natural mother at any time within 1 year prior to the birth of the adoptee;
3. the spouse of the adopting parent, unless the spouse joins in the adoption;
4. the adoptee, if over 12 years of age;
5. the guardian of an incapacitated adoptee;
6. the guardian or anyone having custody of the adoptee whenever there is no parent whose consent is required.
7. If the adoptee is over 18 years of age, or if the adoptee is under 18 and has no living parents, then the court may decide that only adoptee's consent is required.
The husband of the natural mother, who is proven not to be the adoptee's father, is not required to consent.

Consent is not required when parental rights have been involuntarily terminated (for example, due to repeated and continuous abuse, neglect, or failure to care for the child).

Consent cannot occur until 72 hours after the birth of the child. Consent may only be revoked prior to the final decree of adoption or the termination of parental rights, whichever occurs first.

[lyzard]

Thank you for replying,

But i believe that your last sentence was completely insensitve. Being an adoptive parent you have never had to live with this type of grief,, People make decisions when they are in tight spots believeing that it is the right decision. NO sharing genes does not make one a parent, but i do more than share genes with my child. There is a bond only i share with my child, she was in me. ADopting a child does not create that bond.
I am not anti adoption, only shall i say... disillusioned by promises that are untrue.
Adoption is part of a greater industry that only cares about the almighty dollar . The adoption industry only works for those that pay. Help the mother, help the child. Yes women give up their children because they think it is right. But you have no idea what you are talking about. Your child's mother grieves for her son, in a way you will never understand.
Adoptive parents may be "real" parents, but so are natural parents. If you ever walk in my shoes, you might understand one day.

[Neal1421]

Actually, I don't believe nextwife was trying to be insensitive. That is just her signature in the forum so every time she posts, that is at the bottom of the post.

[stealth2]

Ditto what Neal said - it was not aimed at you specifically. However, she did provide you the law in PA regarding revocation of adoption - and it would seem that you're too late.

And you have no idea what nw's adoption situation was. So maybe you should practice what you preach regarding walking in someone's shows before making judgements. Just sayin'.

[ezmarelda]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Ditto what Neal said - it was not aimed at you specifically. However, she did provide you the law in PA regarding revocation of adoption - and it would seem that you're too late.

And you have no idea what nw's adoption situation was. So maybe you should practice what you preach regarding walking in someone's shows before making judgements. Just sayin'.

WHOOT-HOOO
I actualy caught you with a tyop... ... ... I believe you ment shoes not shows


* *I think I might have enjoyed that a little too much

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by lyzard

Thank you for replying,

But i believe that your last sentence was completely insensitve. Being an adoptive parent you have never had to live with this type of grief,, People make decisions when they are in tight spots believeing that it is the right decision. NO sharing genes does not make one a parent, but i do more than share genes with my child. There is a bond only i share with my child, she was in me. ADopting a child does not create that bond.
I am not anti adoption, only shall i say... disillusioned by promises that are untrue.
Adoption is part of a greater industry that only cares about the almighty dollar . The adoption industry only works for those that pay. Help the mother, help the child. Yes women give up their children because they think it is right. But you have no idea what you are talking about. Your child's mother grieves for her son, in a way you will never understand.
Adoptive parents may be "real" parents, but so are natural parents. If you ever walk in my shoes, you might understand one day.

As you were advised, my signature appears automatically on all my posts. I understand that you are grieving, but my adoption was very different than yours.

FYI- Our daughter was abandoned at birth at an orphanage, where she remained until we adopted her at age 25 months old. She was mute and hearing impaired. When she became our daughter she had not even begun to develope language, and was severly delayed, and had a moderate conductive hearing loss due to untreated or poorly treated ear infections.

I can't know what kind of bond her biomom had, biomom was long gone, and never returned, by the time we came along. But I can't imagine any parental bond being deeper or stronger than we have with our daughter, who has now been with us seven years. She has her father's silly sense of humor, and she has spent many hours with him learning about art and how to draw, which she has a talent for. She pours over art books. She's a terrific basketball talent, as well, and is in league play. Her vision and hearing is now fixed (just in time, she would have otherwise become blind in her second eye) and she is caught up with her peers, after much therapy. She is growing up with two gentle, mature parents who love her and whose only priority is providing her a good home and a great future.

[lyzard]

I am sorry, but i have been vey emotoinal, and no it is not too late, i had some other people helping me.
Revocation of Consent
Statute: 23 Pa. § 2711(c)


The birth or putative father's consent is irrevocable unless revoked within 30 days after the child’s birth or the execution of consent, whichever occurs later.

The birth mother's consent is irrevocable 30 days after execution.

A person may challenge the validity of a consent only by filing a petition alleging fraud or duress, within the earlier of:

60 days after the birth of the child or the execution of consent, whichever is later

30 days after entry of the adoption decree

[momofrose]

Just an FYI - "consent" is usually NOT the finalization. Consent is what is done at the time of termination of rights..not the official courtorder of adoption finalization.

What kind of "threats" did you receive? Why did you not bring this to your atty's attention BEFORE the finlization?

All of your comments about adoption and those being able to pay may be true to some point, but I assume you wer able to reep some of those benefits? (rent, groceries, car payments) - all or more depending on your state.

If you are truly wanting to have your child back as your child...it will be a costly court proveeding - the adoption was finalized.

D

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by lyzard

I am sorry, but i have been vey emotoinal, and no it is not too late, i had some other people helping me.
Revocation of Consent
Statute: 23 Pa. § 2711(c)


The birth or putative father's consent is irrevocable unless revoked within 30 days after the child’s birth or the execution of consent, whichever occurs later.

The birth mother's consent is irrevocable 30 days after execution.

A person may challenge the validity of a consent only by filing a petition alleging fraud or duress, within the earlier of:

60 days after the birth of the child or the execution of consent, whichever is later

30 days after entry of the adoption decree

And proving duress and fraud is not as easy as you seem to believe it will be. You will need to prove that basically a gun was held to your head, you had no say so in the matter and you were literally forced to give the child up for adoption.

[LdiJ]

Go and get yourself a consult with a local attorney, and do it quickly.

You may not be able to change anything, but you won't know until you get that consult. The issue is far too serious for an internet message board.