If you terminate a parent's rights does the child have to be adopted by stepparent?

[Sunshineplz]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Basically I have two questions. My ex husband has not seen our child nor paid any child support for 3 yrs now. I have tried to reach my ex through his parents but they have no idea where he is or about his lifestyle. Now here is my reason for seeking advice. My child will be spending a week or so with the grandparents (ex's parents) for the summer. I have no worries about them and I make sure to keep them in my child's life. The thing that I am worried about is if my ex tries to come get my child while he is there. My child does not know him at all, he knows his stepfather as daddy. So one of my questions is how do i go about terminating my ex's rights to my child? I know nothing of his lifestyle now and am worried that he might be a danger to my son.
The second question is when the ex's rights are terminated does my husband have to adopt him? We want my child to keep the same last name as his grandparents cause he is the last to carry on the name and I don't want to take that away from them. If anyone has some advice for me it would be greatly apprieciated. Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Basically I have two questions. My ex husband has not seen our child nor paid any child support for 3 yrs now. I have tried to reach my ex through his parents but they have no idea where he is or about his lifestyle. Now here is my reason for seeking advice. My child will be spending a week or so with the grandparents (ex's parents) for the summer. I have no worries about them and I make sure to keep them in my child's life. The thing that I am worried about is if my ex tries to come get my child while he is there. My child does not know him at all, he knows his stepfather as daddy. So one of my questions is how do i go about terminating my ex's rights to my child? I know nothing of his lifestyle now and am worried that he might be a danger to my son.
The second question is when the ex's rights are terminated does my husband have to adopt him? We want my child to keep the same last name as his grandparents cause he is the last to carry on the name and I don't want to take that away from them. If anyone has some advice for me it would be greatly apprieciated. Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

You can't terminate the child's father's rights without your husband adopting him.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Basically I have two questions. My ex husband has not seen our child nor paid any child support for 3 yrs now. I have tried to reach my ex through his parents but they have no idea where he is or about his lifestyle. Now here is my reason for seeking advice. My child will be spending a week or so with the grandparents (ex's parents) for the summer. I have no worries about them and I make sure to keep them in my child's life. The thing that I am worried about is if my ex tries to come get my child while he is there. My child does not know him at all, he knows his stepfather as daddy. So one of my questions is how do i go about terminating my ex's rights to my child? I know nothing of his lifestyle now and am worried that he might be a danger to my son.
The second question is when the ex's rights are terminated does my husband have to adopt him? We want my child to keep the same last name as his grandparents cause he is the last to carry on the name and I don't want to take that away from them. If anyone has some advice for me it would be greatly apprieciated. Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

You have made a few errors in judgments. Your child should NOT know your husband as daddy. That is not his daddy. Your ex is his daddy. Who does he think the grandparents are? Why don't you just explain who is daddy is in the simplest terms available for your child's age range. That your husband is his step daddy and he has another daddy that maybe one day he will meet when his daddy is able to be a part of his life. If your child asks why, state that his daddy needs to take some time and be able to handle his responsibilities. but not telling your child that he has a father and letting him believe that his stepfather is daddy is wrong on many levels.
If you trust his parents, you need to trust that they will not allow anything or anyone (including their son) to harm the child. The father may have rights to see his son -- you don't mention any custody orders or even cs orders except to say he hasn't paid or seen the boy. Terminating his parental rights will require an attorney. Be prepared for dad to show up at that point and fight for his child. If dad doesn't consent, you may not be able to do so.

 

[tigger22472]

You can't terminate the child's father's rights without your husband adopting him.

That is not correct. Texas does not mandate a step-parent adoption for a TPR.

In Texas you can petition to have his rights terminated but this is never a do it yourself project. Consult a local attorney to see how judges rule in your area and the legalities of doing such.

 

[Sunshineplz]

We do have joint custody of our child and there is child support ordered. I have on several occasions tried to reach my ex with enforcing his visitations but he chooses not to. He knows where I live , my phone numbers and the numbers and addresses of my family. But yet he has not contacted his son at all in 3 yrs. The reason my son knows my husband as daddy is becuase he has been the only man around since my son was 18 months old. I have told my son about his bio father but at his age he does not understand and I don't want to have him ask why his real father did not want to see him or be with him. I can not answer that because I do not know myself. We parted on good terms, my ex met my husband and they got along. So as far as me being wrong for my son to actually call someone his daddy , I don't believe I am. He has every right to call my husband daddy if he wants we never forced him to he did on his own. Thank you for your advice on the subject.

 

[Ohiogal]

We do have joint custody of our child and there is child support ordered. I have on several occasions tried to reach my ex with enforcing his visitations but he chooses not to. He knows where I live , my phone numbers and the numbers and addresses of my family. But yet he has not contacted his son at all in 3 yrs. The reason my son knows my husband as daddy is becuase he has been the only man around since my son was 18 months old. I have told my son about his bio father but at his age he does not understand and I don't want to have him ask why his real father did not want to see him or be with him. I can not answer that because I do not know myself. We parted on good terms, my ex met my husband and they got along. So as far as me being wrong for my son to actually call someone his daddy , I don't believe I am. He has every right to call my husband daddy if he wants we never forced him to he did on his own. Thank you for your advice on the subject.

You cannot force dad to exercise his visitation. It is not something that DAD has to do. You have to provide dad with access on times that it is court ordered that he gets visitation. You also cannot prevent grandma and grandpa from allowing their son to see his child if their son has joint custody. You could go back and petition for sole custody if you wanted which would limit dad's rights more.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Basically I have two questions. My ex husband has not seen our child nor paid any child support for 3 yrs now. I have tried to reach my ex through his parents but they have no idea where he is or about his lifestyle. Now here is my reason for seeking advice. My child will be spending a week or so with the grandparents (ex's parents) for the summer. I have no worries about them and I make sure to keep them in my child's life. The thing that I am worried about is if my ex tries to come get my child while he is there. My child does not know him at all, he knows his stepfather as daddy. So one of my questions is how do i go about terminating my ex's rights to my child? I know nothing of his lifestyle now and am worried that he might be a danger to my son.
The second question is when the ex's rights are terminated does my husband have to adopt him? We want my child to keep the same last name as his grandparents cause he is the last to carry on the name and I don't want to take that away from them. If anyone has some advice for me it would be greatly apprieciated. Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

With NO contact and NO support, it could be considered that he has abandoned the child. You CAN get a TPR w/o a step parent adoption in Texas, but it is usually easier with one.

Do you think dad would agree to the TPR? (Maybe in exchange for forgiving any child support arrears, which you do not HAVE to offer.)

If you choose to and are able to get the TPR and adoption you do not HAVE to change the child's last name.

At the very least, I would suggest having the custody order modified to give you sole custody.

 

[sadmominny]

without adopting the child husband has no rights

I suggest you have your husband adopt the child. If you do a tpr without an adoption, and something would happen to you, your husband would have no rights to your son at all,and no legal standing to do anything. He would either go to a member of your family, or to foster care. I dont reccomend a tpr without an adoption, otherwise, your husband will most likely never see the child again.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I suggest you have your husband adopt the child. If you do a tpr without an adoption, and something would happen to you, your husband would have no rights to your son at all,and no legal standing to do anything. He would either go to a member of your family, or to foster care. I dont reccomend a tpr without an adoption, otherwise, your husband will most likely never see the child again.

Ahh, what the Hell Kelly, I will post her question.

Sunshineplz
Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2

We do have joint custody of our child and there is child support ordered. I have on several occasions tried to reach my ex with enforcing his visitations but he chooses not to. He knows where I live , my phone numbers and the numbers and addresses of my family. But yet he has not contacted his son at all in 3 yrs. The reason my son knows my husband as daddy is becuase he has been the only man around since my son was 18 months old. I have told my son about his bio father but at his age he does not understand and I don't want to have him ask why his real father did not want to see him or be with him. I can not answer that because I do not know myself. We parted on good terms, my ex met my husband and they got along. So as far as me being wrong for my son to actually call someone his daddy , I don't believe I am. He has every right to call my husband daddy if he wants we never forced him to he did on his own. Thank you for your advice on the subject.

Now Kelly, take a much needed breAK from this forum, because you are to stupid if you think you can give legal advice.

OH! And if you can muster it, you should apologize to this forum, for putting them through your hellish nightmare.