I'll assume I can't do this but...

[slylyd]

What is the name of your state?oh

My ex has never seen my child 7 years, he has always paid his child support. I've been with my husband for 7 years (met when I was pregnant) but only recently married. My ex will not return a phone call from me in about 2 years. But again has never seen or wanted to see my child. Even though he does pay child support, can we hire an attorney to start a process to adopt? I know the money will stop, which is fine. But is this something that we could take to court if he objects to the adoption but still doesn't want to see my child because he pays and actually have a case? Or because he pays is he entitled to object and that's that?

Also I'd guess there is a time limit on being married, before we can do this too, even if I can prove how long we've been together??
thanks for any help

[BelizeBreeze]

You can hire an attorney, you can start the process and you can even make an offer in compromise to the ex. However, if you expect a court to terminate his parental rights, which is a requirement to adopt, forget it.

Child support is considered contact so yes, he has not satisfied the requirements necessary for termination.

Of course, you could offer to pay back every cent of child support he's paid to this point for his relinquishing his parental rights...but that's a personal decision and he isn't required to accept.

[slylyd]

thanks a lot, I appreciate it. I didn't think the courts would terminate his rights, but I just wanted to know if we had any rights on this matter to start conversation with an attorney.

Any knowledge on how long someone has to be married in Ohio to adopt?

[nextwife]

How about giving your relatively new husband a good couple of years or so of marriage to you before asking him to assume the forever responsibility for your child with someone else? IN fairness to HIM.


I am sorry, but way too many woman are on here planning ways to dump exs out of their kid's lives before their new spouses have any real time into their new marriages. Then they are back on here years later complaining that they want to UNDO the step adoption!

[twilkins0306]

You guys kill me!! Now thanks to you I spend my in between case reading all this Rhetoric. It is like a song someone sings and I end up singing the Song all day long!!

Like EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING.

T

[brisgirl825]

It sounds like this man is doing the least he can do to support the child in order to stay out of jail. I'm sure if you offered this to him, he'd take it. As one of the previous posters said, you might offer something in return. I think that letting him know that he'd no longer have to pay support may just be the incentive to get it done!

I also wanted to say that your husband sounds like a great guy. We are lucky girls to have men that love our children like their own!

Sarah

[rmet4nzkx]

Your child has a stable relationship with his stepfather and has known him all his life at the same time you have been collecting support all this time without falter, for what ever reason the biodad is very responsible even though no relationship with the child. There is little that would change by adoption and if you have been together for 7 years and not married there possibly was a reason, and a higher divorce rate between people who live together first, so that is not a reason to adopt or to hold a relationship together. That could result in more trauma for your child than status quo. Wait a few years and see how the reality of married life settles in.

[slylyd]

Thanks to all for the advice, I appreciate your knowledge, insight and opinions. As far as nextwife is concerned...get over yourself. I was just asking a question that MY HUSBAND has been bringing up! I do have to say I DO AGREE with you that women should not ask their husbands to adopt their children. I've never came close to bringing this subject up with him. He came to me with it. Him and his family have always excepted my child as their own family. So please don't pass judgement when people are merely asking a question for their own knowledge!

But again thanks to all.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by slylyd

Thanks to all for the advice, I appreciate your knowledge, insight and opinions. As far as nextwife is concerned...get over yourself. I was just asking a question that MY HUSBAND has been bringing up! I do have to say I DO AGREE with you that women should not ask their husbands to adopt their children. I've never came close to bringing this subject up with him. He came to me with it. Him and his family have always excepted my child as their own family. So please don't pass judgement when people are merely asking a question for their own knowledge!

But again thanks to all.

I will add a word of warning/caution that the others haven't mentioned. Sometimes an adoption goes very easily in a case like yours....because the biofather is more than willing to get out of the obligation of child support.

However, other times, the very fact that you even bring up the idea of adoption, sparks the bio father to decide its time to get involved in the child's life, which causes its own complications. That could happen eventually at some point anyway, but its something to consider.