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  #1  
Old 07-20-2009, 01:12 PM
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Intra-family Adoption

The mother lives in Texas and I live in Indiana. My sister has agreed to donate an egg and allow me to send her sperm purchased from a sperm bank. Since we won't know who the father is, clearly the father cannot sign away his rights, and we don't want to declare that she was artificially inseminated for insurance reasons. What do I do to address this issue? I presume that we initiate adoption proceedings in Texas since that is where she lives but since I can take the baby to IN with me once he/she is born, can I initiate adoption proceedings in IN instead? Lastly, where do I get information so that we can handle the adoption ourselves?
  #2  
Old 07-20-2009, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
The mother lives in Texas and I live in Indiana. My sister has agreed to donate an egg and allow me to send her sperm purchased from a sperm bank. Since we won't know who the father is, clearly the father cannot sign away his rights, and we don't want to declare that she was artificially inseminated for insurance reasons. What do I do to address this issue? I presume that we initiate adoption proceedings in Texas since that is where she lives but since I can take the baby to IN with me once he/she is born, can I initiate adoption proceedings in IN instead? Lastly, where do I get information so that we can handle the adoption ourselves?
This is a surrogate issue? Are you married? Who is going to be the mother? Are you going through official channels for a surrogate mother? Or are you just deciding to do this on the fly?
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Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


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  #3  
Old 07-20-2009, 05:38 PM
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hi Ohiogal,

My sister would use her own egg and i would purchase sperm from a sperm bank for her to inseminate herself at home. I guess if you were being technical....she would in effect be the biological mother and the father would be unknown. I say technically because she would be going through with this process with the sole intent of giving the baby to my husband and I to adopt. We will not be going through any official channels for insurance reasons (neither of our insurances would cover invetro or a surrogate). I would like to keep any costs associated with the legal aspect of the adoption process to a minimum which is why we would like to handle the whole adoption process with do it yourself filings.
  #4  
Old 07-20-2009, 05:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
hi Ohiogal,

My sister would use her own egg and i would purchase sperm from a sperm bank for her to inseminate herself at home. I guess if you were being technical....she would in effect be the biological mother and the father would be unknown. I say technically because she would be going through with this process with the sole intent of giving the baby to my husband and I to adopt. We will not be going through any official channels for insurance reasons (neither of our insurances would cover invetro or a surrogate). I would like to keep any costs associated with the legal aspect of the adoption process to a minimum which is why we would like to handle the whole adoption process with do it yourself filings.
But that is a surrogate mother. Seriously. Legally she is a surrogate mother. You are trying to backdoor it and quite frankly I don't think you will find an attorney with ethics that will assist you with this. Sorry but that is an end run around the law.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #5  
Old 07-20-2009, 06:38 PM
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And could be considered insurance fraud...
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  #6  
Old 07-20-2009, 07:56 PM
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Ohiogal,

thanks for your opinion but I'm not an idiot. I know it is an end run around...that's the point. While I can afford the day-to-day cost of raising a child I can't afford to adopt a child. Even if i could i don't think someone should have to spend $25k to become a parent. I didn't ask the questions with the intent that someone would sit in judgement of me. I asked them because I am looking for the answers. So with all due respect, if you do not know the answers to my questions, please allow someone that does to respond. Thanks!
  #7  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:01 PM
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Zinger,

please see last comments to Ohiogal. And..... just for the sake of argument.....since she would actually be pregnant, good luck proving fraud since it would neither be my egg nor my husband's sperm. Not to mention the fact that she pays insurance premiums to cover her health- which in turn would in effect cover a pregnancy.
  #8  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
Zinger,

please see last comments to Ohiogal. And..... just for the sake of argument.....since she would actually be pregnant, good luck proving fraud since it would neither be my egg nor my husband's sperm. Not to mention the fact that she pays insurance premiums to cover her health- which in turn would in effect cover a pregnancy.
comments to OG was throughly read and accounted for.

an adoption is NOT a do it yourself project.
  #9  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:15 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
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Wait....

So your plan is to walk into the sperm bank and purchase any old vial of sperm then MAIL it to your sister so she can turkey baste a baby for you? Really? What happens if it doesn't work?

I see a HUGE problem before your sister ever gets to the turkey baster stage, but since you know you have all the answers to this nifty little arrangement, I'll just keep that info to myself.
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Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #10  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:29 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
Nextie,

CC says she is sure you get coupons in the SUnday paper for it. $45 off any purchase so long as you don't want to be too picky.
Blech.....

I'm telling you....if I open my mailbox (okay, find on my floor as my mail is delivered through a slot on my door) and find a vial or what could be 'elixer of man', I'm puking. Just sayin'......

Dang...I love my sister and all, but not that much.
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #11  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:31 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 6
OK people.....let me try to say this as nicely as i possibly can:

I AM NOT POSTING IN AN EFFORT FOR YOU TO EXERCISE JUDGEMENT. I am asking SPECIFIC questions for the purpose of getting answers ONLY.

I don't recall ever saying I had all of the answers to everything. I simply responded to the postings so we could move on from the judgement in an effort to acquire the answers to my questions. You don't know me, and unless you are barren you don't know anything about what it is like to go through this.

So....one last time:

My sister who lives in TX (I live in IN) has offered to donate an egg and allow me to send her sperm purchased from a sperm bank so that my husband and I can adopt the baby and become parents. Since we won't know who the father is, clearly the father cannot sign away his rights. For insurance reasons, we don't want to declare that she artificially inseminated herself with donated sperm.

QUESTION 1: Where do we initiate adoption proceedings, in TX or IN?

QUESTION 2: Since I can take the baby to IN with me once he/she is born, can/should I initiate adoption proceedings in IN instead?

QUESTION 3: Since the father would technically be a sperm donor, how do we waive the father's rights? Technically, if she was someone who slept around, the possibility exists that she wouldn't know who it was anyway....

Lastly.....

QUESTION 4: Where do I get information so that we can handle the adoption ourselves? I am not interested in hearing about whether you think I should or shouldn't do it myself....I simply want to know where to find the info.

To someone willing to answer these questions, a very hearfelt and sincere thank you. To those who want to simply give opinions and/or get on their soapbox, please spend your energy elsewhere. Thanks!
  #12  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:34 PM
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Location: Ohio via TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
OK people.....let me try to say this as nicely as i possibly can:

I AM NOT POSTING IN AN EFFORT FOR YOU TO EXERCISE JUDGEMENT. I am asking SPECIFIC questions for the purpose of getting answers ONLY.

I don't recall ever saying I had all of the answers to everything. I simply responded to the postings so we could move on from the judgement in an effort to acquire the answers to my questions. You don't know me, and unless you are barren you don't know anything about what it is like to go through this.

So....one last time:

My sister who lives in TX (I live in IN) has offered to donate an egg and allow me to send her sperm purchased from a sperm bank so that my husband and I can adopt the baby and become parents. Since we won't know who the father is, clearly the father cannot sign away his rights. For insurance reasons, we don't want to declare that she artificially inseminated herself with donated sperm.

QUESTION 1: Where do we initiate adoption proceedings, in TX or IN?

QUESTION 2: Since I can take the baby to IN with me once he/she is born, can/should I initiate adoption proceedings in IN instead?

QUESTION 3: Since the father would technically be a sperm donor, how do we waive the father's rights? Technically, if she was someone who slept around, the possibility exists that she wouldn't know who it was anyway....

Lastly.....

QUESTION 4: Where do I get information so that we can handle the adoption ourselves? I am not interested in hearing about whether you think I should or shouldn't do it myself....I simply want to know where to find the info.

To someone willing to answer these questions, a very hearfelt and sincere thank you. To those who want to simply give opinions and/or get on their soapbox, please spend your energy elsewhere. Thanks!

If you must send jiz...why don't you just send some of your husband's? WHY do you think you are going to be able to just pick up a vial of random spooge and ship it cross country? What the holy hell are you thinking? It's not like they have it on the shelf next to the condoms and Sponges at Rite-aid !!!!

Your sister is willing to insert some random man's sperm into her uterus all so she can give you a baby? Geez woman...at least have the decency to send sperm of a man you KNOW.
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #13  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:34 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,584
Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
OK people.....let me try to say this as nicely as i possibly can:

I AM NOT POSTING IN AN EFFORT FOR YOU TO EXERCISE JUDGEMENT. I am asking SPECIFIC questions for the purpose of getting answers ONLY.

I don't recall ever saying I had all of the answers to everything. I simply responded to the postings so we could move on from the judgement in an effort to acquire the answers to my questions. You don't know me, and unless you are barren you don't know anything about what it is like to go through this.

So....one last time:

My sister who lives in TX (I live in IN) has offered to donate an egg and allow me to send her sperm purchased from a sperm bank so that my husband and I can adopt the baby and become parents. Since we won't know who the father is, clearly the father cannot sign away his rights. For insurance reasons, we don't want to declare that she artificially inseminated herself with donated sperm.

QUESTION 1: Where do we initiate adoption proceedings, in TX or IN?

QUESTION 2: Since I can take the baby to IN with me once he/she is born, can/should I initiate adoption proceedings in IN instead?

QUESTION 3: Since the father would technically be a sperm donor, how do we waive the father's rights? Technically, if she was someone who slept around, the possibility exists that she wouldn't know who it was anyway....

Lastly.....

QUESTION 4: Where do I get information so that we can handle the adoption ourselves? I am not interested in hearing about whether you think I should or shouldn't do it myself....I simply want to know where to find the info.

To someone willing to answer these questions, a very hearfelt and sincere thank you. To those who want to simply give opinions and/or get on their soapbox, please spend your energy elsewhere. Thanks!
you are trying to commit fraud. no one in their right mind will help you. during an adoption process, either the father needs to be named, or you will have to admit the insemination process. you cannot just adopt a baby out all willy nilly. there is a legal process.
  #14  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:37 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano View Post
i hope you 3 are talking about something off topic....cuz if CC says you can get coupons for $45 off of a purchase of sperm if you are not too picky....
Okay, this is going to be one of the all time funniest replies if she posted a message to the wrong thread.
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #15  
Old 07-20-2009, 08:45 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by acisse View Post
Ohiogal,

thanks for your opinion but I'm not an idiot. I know it is an end run around...that's the point. While I can afford the day-to-day cost of raising a child I can't afford to adopt a child. Even if i could i don't think someone should have to spend $25k to become a parent. I didn't ask the questions with the intent that someone would sit in judgement of me. I asked them because I am looking for the answers. So with all due respect, if you do not know the answers to my questions, please allow someone that does to respond. Thanks!
No attorney will aid you in doing an end run around the law. The fact that you know that is what this is makes it all the more pathetic. You didn't think anyone would judge you? You are thinking of committing crimes. Oh okay. But no one should judge you. Nice. Oh and if anyone does try to help you, I am pretty sure they will be reported for giving illegal advice.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
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