Just starting

[room4more]

What is the name of your state?OH

I was wondering if anyone could help guide me a little bit. My husband and I are in the first stages of looking into adopting an "older" child. (anywhere from 2 to 12) We have not yet completed a home study. We are getting the information on children and exactly what we need to do. There are a few things though that I'm curious about that I'm afraid might not allow us to continue. My husband and I live off of a trust...we are not rich by any means, but we are comfortable right now. My husband does do consulting work throughout the year but it's only hear and there. I know that you have to provide income statements. The other thing is is that I never graduated high school. I do have state license's for appraisals and for a mortgage loan broker, which I keep valid though I am not currently working. Will these be issues in the backround check? Also, We don't have a huge house (3 bedroom 1 bath), but do have an extra bedroom. We have a 10 year old son. If anyone could help I give my thanks.

 

[room4more]

One thing I forgot is that my husband had 2 DUI's. One was 15 years ago and one was 20 years ago when he was 20 and 25 years old. thanks again.

 

[nextwife]

You need to show that you can properly provide for the child and that you are responsible. If there is no substance abuse or reckeless/endangering conduct, etc in over one and a half DECADES, and you have a reasonable amount of room (no more than two kids to a bedroom, seperate rooms for opposite gender kids) you should be fine. If income is from a trust, then simply show the trust income over the past three years or so. If international, you may need some further documentation so their court system is comfortable about your abiilty to provide. A HS or college decree is not required, only regular, sufficient, legal income to provide appropriately for the children. All the other usual requirements apply, such as being healthy enough, no sexual or other abuse of children, etc also apply.

A three bedroom house is more than enough for two kids.

Good luck.

Are you planning to adopt from foster or internationally? Ours was adopted at 25 months old from an orphanage.

 

[room4more]

Thanks for the help. There is no substance abuse, just my husband not thinking when he was younger. Sounds like by what you said we should be good then. I was getting nervous, and trying to think of anything in our pasts or currently that would halt it.

Right now we are looking locally through agencies, so I'm just trying to figure out how everything works. Are there typically fees involved? It doesn't matter if there are, but I've heard to stay away from places that charge "above normal" Though I'm not even sure what normal is. Then I've heard of the government paying us??? I'm not sure I understand that one. I don't expect the government to pay me for my biological child. The race of the child is unimportant to us. Do you happen to know if the agencies care?

Did you adopt internationally? I've heard that that can be more difficult.

Thanks again.

 

[nextwife]

Several options for older kids:

Adopting from disruption, adopting from foster care, adopting from an orphanage or other international adoption. Ours was International, from an orphanage. Our daughter was relinquished at birth and left there by her biomom. We adopted her at just past 2 years old. Many kids are classified as Special Needs who only have mild problems, do consider accepting a SNs child. Mine had vision problems from her badly crossed eyes, and language delays and hearing imparments from untreated ear infections. She's fine today, eyes and ears fixed, and just slightly delayed, but pretty caught up and doing ok in a very demanding school district.


I didn't really consider it more difficult. Because the biofamily rights were long gone (she was "legally available for adoption" before we even got the referral), we actually only needed the approval of the orphanage director and local court, so we never had to deal with parental rights at all. In that sense, it was easier than domestic adoption. We also did not have to "market ourselves" to birthparents, which was another plus. But we still needed a WI homestudy and our Satate Dept of Family and Children's Services STILL had to "sign off" on it before the INS could grant us a VIsa to bring her here. The immigration aspects were the only real difference.


Also, get on some weblists for adoptive parents, there are many, but I suggest avoiding the ""U-Ra-Ra" type weblists provided through the adoption agencies, these are primarilly preadoptive parents and you get little real feedback. And READ like crazy, books on attachment issues, and other matters to be aware of for older adoption. The feedback and honest sharing of exp[erience and feedback by so many "been there, done that" parents has been invaluble. I am on lists with many "serial adoptors" who have adopted many times.