keep hitting dead ends ! Any ideas ? tricks ?

[mamadi]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Adopted through DSS in Erie county , NY. I'm 35 years old. Born at Mercy Hospital, baptized July 5, 1968 in hospital chapel. I have non identifying info. I've done just about everything in my power legally to try to find atleast a name of birth mother/father. But to no avail. Even called Mercy hospital trying to get names of babies baptized on July 5, 1968 ha that didn't work. Anybody have any tricks ?? Any secrets on another way to go about finding BM/BF ?
I do have some info. on their siblings (just the years they were born) Thought about going to library in Buffalo trying to match names in the years siblings were born. Any advice would be appreciated . Thanks so much Tim

[nextwife]

Have you used any of the voluntary adoption registries? There are a number of adoption support groups that have registries. Some states have such registries, as well.

This is a link to a whole list of such registries and resources:

[url]http://www.adoptiontriad.org/netregistries.htm[/url]

Good luck.

[mamadi]

Thanks. Yes, I've posted on many registries. I just read over my non-identifying info again. BM graduated from a high school in Buffalo just before my birth. Thought about maybe trying to get yearbooks and match description. What do you think about those chances of finding atleast a maiden name ?? Thanks for your help

[nextwife]

That's a LOT of Buffalo graduates! How will you narrow down the list (other than eliminating all males)? I wish you well and it very well may be a place to start, but if you look a lot more like your biodad than biomom, the yearbook photos may not provide any insight.

Honestly, I have limited knowledge of this reunion process. Just what I have come across as an adoptive parent. But my kiddo is an Eastern European orphanage adoption, AND the child of a Roma (Gypsy) biomom who may never have had a permanant address in that area, so reunion possibilities are pretty limited for her.

[mamadi]

By the way, this isn't mamadi - it's her husband incase anyone was wondering ! Yes, that is a lot of Buffalo grads but one way I could narrow it down is just looking at the schools that were around in 1968. I am have her physical description (blonde hair, green eyes, 5'8", etc) I found a few alumni websites today and a couple of them had email addresses for people who graduated from a Buffalo HS in 1968. We'll see what happens !! Could be interesting. Thanks again Tim

[nextwife]

Best of luck, Tim.

I had no idea that you would have gotten a physical description! Wow. That would help. We only have an age at our daughter's birth, no idea if or where she attended school (Many Roma have limited access to the school system there) and the BM's number of prior pregnancies. And we DO have her name. NO name for BF. That's it. Hope someone else has other ideas for you.

No legal thoughts here, but hopefully some words of encouragement.

I, too, am adopted. Three years ago, I found my bio-mom. Fortunately for me, my birthname "accidentally" slipped through on one of the court papers for my adoption. So, I had at least her maiden name. Where I started with my search was with the agency that placed me--Catholic Charities in my case. They were able to point me in the right direction as to how to get the ball rolling....

Hopefully more encouraging than that.....

I have a sister (by adoption). In her case, like yours, there was ZERO identifying information---not even a physical description of her bio-mom. The only thing my sister could go by was her own date and place of birth. She also started her search by calling the agency she was placed through-----flying completely blind...no information what-so-ever.

Six weeks ago----sister's birthmother was found and the reunion has taken place.

So, you see, it CAN be done! Even against the odds....

Sincerest wishes for you in your search!

[mamadi]

Thanks for the encouragement Craftymom

That's great news ! How did your sister finally find her birthmom ?
Did she get enough info from the agency to help her find her ?
Did she search libraries ? birth indexes ? Any tricks that might help me ?
From my understanding my adoptive mother should have an adoption decree with my birth mothers signature on it. Do you know anything about this ??

I'm very happy for your family ! I'm going to keep looking and thanks for the kind words !

Tim

Tim (or mamadi),
If you would care to, you could email me by clicking on my profile. I'm going to copy/paste your last post to my "drafts" folder so that I may answer your questions as specifically as possible---that is, if you wouldn't mind emailing.

I'll be happy to answer any and all questions to the best of my ability. Legal questions, brainstorming ideas, and the details of mine and my sister's individual searches are all 'fair game', so ask away. Or hell, even if you just want to 'vent' about your search, I'd be happy to be there for you. It's certainly a rollercoaster, isn't it?