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Legal Name change for Child / Termination of PR

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iplawfem

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Wisconsin
My son is 13-1/2. His father (my ex) is from another country, although he holds dual citizenship and lives about 20 miles from us. Has not seen my son or had any type of contact whatsoever for 13 years. I get "token" support payments (put thru the court system) about 3 or 4 times a year ($130 at a time) based on his claimed "unemployed" income from the time of our divorce in 1992. Again... absolutely NO contact between anybody for 13 years. I am remarried (for 4 years). My husband wants to adopt my son. My son wants to be adopted. We cannot afford a custody battle, which while unlikely is always a possibility. We're told we need to notify bio father and have his parental rights legally terminated.
Based upon the history of cases like this in the court system, what are the chances that a judge might NOT grant the adoption and terminate the bio father's rights? Abandonment, according to the statutes, happens after a very short period of time, like 6 months (I could be wrong, but its certainly a lot less than 13 years!!!) My fear is that the bio father can suddenly decide he wants to be part of my son's life, and fight the termination of his rights. My son does not even know what his bio father looks like (neither do I after all this time).
Should the bio father fight it, do I have the right to rectify the child support for the past 13 years, and ask for income verification going back to 1992? Can I ask for 17% of his gross income for 13 years if he fights me on this?
The alternative is for my son to legally change his last name to mine/stepfather's. We are informed that he can do this without consent of the other parent, once he is 14. However, changing a name is not the same as a legal adoption.
There is a chance here for a lot of emotional damage to be done; we need to weigh the cost/benefits to my son. We already use "our" last name for school records, etc., they have his legal last name on file but he is not known by that name.
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
iplawfem said:
What is the name of your state? Wisconsin
My son is 13-1/2. His father (my ex) is from another country,
Totally irrelevant.
although he holds dual citizenship and lives about 20 miles from us.
o.k. so what does this have to do with the issue at hand?
Has not seen my son or had any type of contact whatsoever for 13 years. I get "token" support payments (put thru the court system) about 3 or 4 times a year ($130 at a time) based on his claimed "unemployed" income from the time of our divorce in 1992.
He has contact. Legally paying support is contact period.
Again... absolutely NO contact between anybody for 13 years.
Again, wrong. see above.
I am remarried (for 4 years). My husband wants to adopt my son. My son wants to be adopted. We cannot afford a custody battle, which while unlikely is always a possibility.
You would not have a custody battle. Custody has already been decided.
We're told we need to notify bio father and have his parental rights legally terminated.
You were told wrong. YOU can't have his rights terminated, only the court can.
Based upon the history of cases like this in the court system, what are the chances that a judge might NOT grant the adoption and terminate the bio father's rights?
You're kidding right? How the hell should we know? Each case, each judge and each proceeding is different.
Abandonment, according to the statutes, happens after a very short period of time, like 6 months (I could be wrong, but its certainly a lot less than 13 years!!!) My fear is that the bio father can suddenly decide he wants to be part of my son's life, and fight the termination of his rights. My son does not even know what his bio father looks like (neither do I after all this time).
And that is his right.
Should the bio father fight it, do I have the right to rectify the child support for the past 13 years, and ask for income verification going back to 1992? Can I ask for 17% of his gross income for 13 years if he fights me on this?
nope. The court will see right through your ploy. You cannot retroactively modify a support order but you can ask the court to enforce the current one.
The alternative is for my son to legally change his last name to mine/stepfather's.
Totally irrelevant to the issues.
We are informed that he can do this without consent of the other parent, once he is 14. However, changing a name is not the same as a legal adoption.
That's right.
There is a chance here for a lot of emotional damage to be done; we need to weigh the cost/benefits to my son. We already use "our" last name for school records, etc., they have his legal last name on file but he is not known by that name.
so? why rock the boat now?
 

Neal1421

Senior Member
iplawfem said:
What is the name of your state? Wisconsin
My son is 13-1/2. His father (my ex) is from another country, although he holds dual citizenship and lives about 20 miles from us. Has not seen my son or had any type of contact whatsoever for 13 years. I get "token" support payments (put thru the court system) about 3 or 4 times a year ($130 at a time) based on his claimed "unemployed" income from the time of our divorce in 1992. Again... absolutely NO contact between anybody for 13 years. I am remarried (for 4 years).

Support constitutes contact so legally he has had contact with the child.

My husband wants to adopt my son. My son wants to be adopted. We cannot afford a custody battle, which while unlikely is always a possibility. We're told we need to notify bio father and have his parental rights legally terminated.
Based upon the history of cases like this in the court system, what are the chances that a judge might NOT grant the adoption and terminate the bio father's rights?

If he is paying support a judge will not likely terminate his rights without his permission.

Abandonment, according to the statutes, happens after a very short period of time, like 6 months (I could be wrong, but its certainly a lot less than 13 years!!!) My fear is that the bio father can suddenly decide he wants to be part of my son's life, and fight the termination of his rights.

Although you might not like it, the father has every right to do so.

My son does not even know what his bio father looks like (neither do I after all this time).
Should the bio father fight it, do I have the right to rectify the child support for the past 13 years, and ask for income verification going back to 1992? Can I ask for 17% of his gross income for 13 years if he fights me on this?

Did you ever file for a modification through the court? If not, no.

The alternative is for my son to legally change his last name to mine/stepfather's. We are informed that he can do this without consent of the other parent, once he is 14.

However, changing a name is not the same as a legal adoption.
There is a chance here for a lot of emotional damage to be done; we need to weigh the cost/benefits to my son. We already use "our" last name for school records, etc., they have his legal last name on file but he is not known by that name.

Bottom line, you need the father's permission to terminate rights.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
Is the kid in a PUBLIC school? And why are they allowing him to actually use a last name that is in no way related to HIM?
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
ceara19 said:
Is the kid in a PUBLIC school? And why are they allowing him to actually use a last name that is in no way related to HIM?
They have his legal name on file. It's in the post dear. As long as the legal name is known by and used in all official documents, it doesn't matter what he/she is called.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
They have his legal name on file. It's in the post dear. As long as the legal name is known by and used in all official documents, it doesn't matter what he/she is called.
I know that. The OP also stated that "We already use "our" last name for school records, etc". If the child is in pulblic school, his LEGAL name should be USED for the official record.
 

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