Legal Name change for my daughter.

[ChuckThunder]

You stated TWICE in your original post that your new husband was her "dad/father". I suggest that you learn to communicate better. You need to understand that there is a difference between chatting with your friends over a glass of wine (or whatever) and speaking in a legal setting.

Just looking for advice, not a scolding...

 

[Zigner]

Did you not read the original post? One blood test was negative. The other was never returned. Which tells me that guy never wanted anything to do with the child anyway. It's not like I was a hooker. I was a young adult having fun. That year I had sex with four people. Two of which were fairly close together in time. A frat guy tries to score with as many women as possible and they are fine. The standards are very skewed.

Oh get over it. Nobody here has stated, or even implied that the father is blameless in this matter except for the fact that he might not even know he has a child. We only have you here to talk to.

Why didn't you pursue establishment of paternity?

 

[Zigner]

Just looking for advice, not a scolding...

I guess giving appropriate advice is scolding now.

Fine.

Be on your merry way and continue having fun.

 

[ChuckThunder]

If you truly cannot locate the man, then there are options.


What in the world makes you think that her being 12 somehow removes the requirement to properly serve the father?

I was under the impression that at the age of 12 it becomes the child's consent to be adopted. The father can still step forth but ultimately after the age of twelve it is up to the child. If that is wrong, please correct me, and possibly add a link to a page that says differently.

 

[Zigner]

I was under the impression that at the age of 12 it becomes the child's consent to be adopted. The father can still step forth but ultimately after the age of twelve it is up to the child. If that is wrong, please correct me, and possibly add a link to a page that says differently.

I wouldn't want to scold you any further.

 

[Proserpina]

I think your law-student "friend" needs to pay attention to the books before giving you erroneous information. Hell, I want to know the name and where s/he studies - because what you were "told" by this "friend" is utter tripe.

And really, you don't know who the father is but you're very quick to blame him for not being part of his child's life? Explain to me how that works? For all he knows, you were a skank who had more partners in 48 hours than he had in a year.

You're actually Stepdad, aren't you?

 

[Proserpina]

I was under the impression that at the age of 12 it becomes the child's consent to be adopted. The father can still step forth but ultimately after the age of twelve it is up to the child. If that is wrong, please correct me, and possibly add a link to a page that says differently.

You're wrong. Flat out wrong And there's a reason why we don't let 12 year olds decide such major events.

Go ask your "law-student" "friend". Or, don't.

 

[ChuckThunder]

Oh get over it. Nobody here has stated, or even implied that the father is blameless in this matter except for the fact that he might not even know he has a child. We only have you here to talk to.

Why didn't you pursue establishment of paternity?

A few reasons. I tried at first,but found it wasn't worth it. I could raise that child by myself, without the help of the guy. When the other guy didn't send back the blood test I tried to contact him, and then heard he was out of town (most likely a ploy). So I went on my happy little pregnant way and did it on my own. Was it the smartest idea? obviously not, since we are in this situation now. But the past is the past.

 

[Silverplum]

I was under the impression that at the age of 12 it becomes the child's consent to be adopted. The father can still step forth but ultimately after the age of twelve it is up to the child. If that is wrong, please correct me, and possibly add a link to a page that says differently.

That's not how it works here.

 

[Silverplum]

A few reasons. I tried at first,but found it wasn't worth it. I could raise that child by myself, without the help of the guy. When the other guy didn't send back the blood test I tried to contact him, and then heard he was out of town (most likely a ploy). So I went on my happy little pregnant way and did it on my own. Was it the smartest idea? obviously not, since we are in this situation now. But the past is the past.

In 2015, you can find anyone. The past is NOT the past.

 

[Zigner]

A few reasons. I tried at first,but found it wasn't worth it. I could raise that child by myself, without the help of the guy. When the other guy didn't send back the blood test I tried to contact him, and then heard he was out of town (most likely a ploy). So I went on my happy little pregnant way and did it on my own. Was it the smartest idea? obviously not, since we are in this situation now. But the past is the past.

Wait, he didn't return a blood test while you were pregnant?

Your story really is falling apart.

 

[Zigner]

In 2015, you can find anyone. The past is NOT the past.

Even in 2008/2009 it wasn't all that hard.

 

[Silverplum]

Wait, he didn't return a blood test while you were pregnant?

Your story really is falling apart.

Speedy Zig!

 

[Proserpina]

What a tangled web we weave ...

 

[Ohiogal]

We understand that. On the one hand we feel strongly that we wouldn't be able to find him anyway, which is one reason why we don't want to spend the time on it. But on the other hand it scares us because what if this guy does come forward. It just doesn't seem fair that he would even get a say in any matter at all. Which is why we were thinking about waiting until she is 12, and it would be her decision at that point.

Bull. It would NOT be her decision at that point. Especially when any putative fathers would need to be served as would John Doe. But good try. It doesn't seem fair that you slept with so many men that you can't tell your daughter who her father might be and have no clue who he is.